On 9/14/2009 lilunder wrote:
We found out saturday that my dads neck cancer has metastasized to his liver and now surgery for his neck isn't possible. We didn't tell him until today, as we didn't know how and had the doc meet us tonight and tell him. they indicated to us that this was basically the end of the fight and that they'll try using Eirbtux but more as a prolonging method more then a treatment/cure. Has anyone had this experience? He was in such a good mood finally himself (he's been in the hospital since friday because blood numbers were bad, hips atrophied, and having disorientation due to dehydration. (Sleeping all the time so not taking in enough liquids) He'd been smiling and joking and then she told him it moved to his liver. in all my life I never such saddness/anger/and disappointment on his face the way I did today. I don't know how to deal with my own saddness over this, but I want to help him not feel it either. Does anyone have any suggestions? How do we all live with this terrible sadness?
hi lilunder I'm sad for what you, your dad, and you whole family, are going though, I lost five of my family members this way, they would say they were going, we would all get around there bed, and start to pray, but they would just go to sleep. wake up and we would do it all over again, the strain on us was incredible. I felt guilty as I just wanted them to go a bit faster. as they were in so much pain. We found that most of them went when we were asleep. They went when they were alone in bed, except for my father in law he finely got so thin he was unable to walk any more my wife who a nurse gently pinch her dad skin, I ask her why, she said to see if he was dehydrated he skin stayed to gather, so he was, Finlay he told us he saw a light. my wife mother his wife said go to the light my darling I looked at my wife and he was gone. On the other hand one of my Friends when he died from cancer and a heart condition was put in to an out side room. next to the garden he loved and though He could not walk and was none coherent, yet the next morning his wife found him in there bed he had walked up a long hall way, so he had pass away next to her in his own bed, she said she work up because he was stone cold, I have found over the years that death is a natural part of life. and though we will all go though this process called Death, I believe it is not the end we will all see our love ones again. Then we will have all the time we want to talk abut what happen in our life's with the soles of people we truly love. God bless Ray