He's the One Who Might be Sick, I am the One Who is Depressed!

There is probably no answer anyone can give to my situation, but I need to share before I have a meltdown...thanks for listening..

My husband has had elevated psa numbers and a very, very low free percent psa since April.  He is opposed to a biopsy, so we tried the mri-s.  Something suspicious showed up, but we found out the mri-s won't give us that all important Gleason score.  Only a biopsy will.  I have tried to get him appointments with additional doctors, and our next one is a few weeks away.  Problem is, my husband doesn't like any of the doctors--he finds something to complain about immediately and says he won't be back.  Which means, he is still putting off the biopsy.

I asked him the other day if we were wasting our time with these other appointments, if he was just going to find fault with any little thing.  He told me a big part of him just "doesn't want to know if I have cancer".  I wanted to know if this was cancer or not a few months ago, and at the rate he is going, we may not know by Christmas.

Gads!!!  He is 51, and this is just so hard for me to understand.  I have lost 5 members of my immediate family in the last 12 years, and I see what not taking care of your health and heeding warning signs can do.  My husband says he would know if something serious was wrong.  I keep telling him, once he knows something serious is wrong in dealing with this disease, it may be too late. 

I am so angry, I just want to forget the whole mess and let him deal with it his way.  I am almost at the point where I am just going to tell him, "deal with it however you want"...but it has basically ruined the closeness we've had in every aspect of our life together.  We've been together a long time, and he has helped me with many, many hard decisions regarding family stuff and our personal lives.  Now this, and he doesn't want to know??? 

Did any of you feel like that at first, actually not want to know if it was cancer or not?  If so, what changed your mind, and made you courageous enough to deal with your situation?  Any help or words of encouragement are appreciated.  Right now I feel like I am used up, I just don't know what to do.

 

You don't know it yet. But I believe you have a very brave husband. and he has a very careing wife and by what you told us he all has a lot of good in-site. I'm 57 and when I had a biopsy in 2007 I found out I realty had prostrate cancer. To tell you the truth I realty wish I never went near a prostate biopsy. You see , I found out I first had a high PSA in 1992. I was just in my 40s back then. My doctor at the time said I had a high PSA of 3.5 he said I should have it check every 6 months or so, so that what I did, I had it checked every 6 months or so, or when I thought about getting it checked. Doing this I found it went up in winter and come down a bit in summer. But It stayed about the 3 to 3.5 mark for 15 years. Then in 2007, when I had an other PSA test, It come back, a PSA of 4. My doctor said I should have a biopsy. So I seen a urologist four month later. But just to be sure, I ask my doctor if he could do a other PSA test, it come back 4 again, so I had the biopsy. They found I had a Gleason score of 8, and from then every thing just got worst. I had a PSA test three month later, it come back a PSA of 6. I started to get a pain in my penis so I flew to Sydney to see a urologist and I flew to Brisbane to see an other urologist, both of whom would not do the surgery because of my weight. I'm 6ft and weigh 300lbs. Three months later, another PSA test showed it was a PSA of 8. but by this time I had pain in my back and my ribs, so my doctor sent me for a bone scan it found I had prostrate bone metastasis , in my ribs and my lower back. I was in so much pain I could not sleep much ,I would go to sleep and wake up in pain, my doctor was worried I would roll over in bed and brake my spine, and be come a para. Three weeks with not much sleep is no fun, I tell yeah, My wife finely got onto a naturopath who know a lot about cancer. And on her advice with in a week or so, I was free of pain. She had me go onto a no sugar diet. and order and take liquid cellular Zeolites 15 drops 4 times a day, I was all so on 6 grams of vitamin C a day, and a high dose of Zinc, a year later a bone scan found I had no cancer in my bones but I still had it in my prostate since then Iva move on to holistic treatments. I have other things like Red clover, and flack seed oil, and cottage cheese. But I still stay away from any Sugary food or drink even fruit sugars as I was told there a spoon full of sugar in just one apple in 2007 my PSA went up to 13.8 now in 2009 it 8.2 I think it will be lower next PSA test just have to see. Can you tell me what was his PSA last time all the best Ray

 

I reacted the same as your husband, I wouldn't have gone the surgery or radiation route--so why admit I have it??  I said that I had no symtoms, but in reality I had to wait a few seconds to start peeing.

When my wife discovered HIFU and the incredible low risk of any side effects - I was elated. 

I had HIFU (high intensity focused ultrasound) last year and my PSA is 0.3now, because I still have the gland but all the tissue is gone, I will always have a PSA -- just low and stable.  I have since sent in others for HIFU and they have all reported the same as me, no side effects, no troubles, no hospital time, no pain, it's just a 2 hour procedure amd then you wait until the anethesia wears off and go home.  He'd have a supra pubic catheter in for two weeks to drain off the ash from the prostate being cooked.  A small price to pay!

 It isn't FDA approved though, it has been in use in vertually every other developed country on earth for 5 years, 18 years in europe, with a 94% success rate.  So, you need to go to Puerto Vallarta or Nassau for treatment with a American doctor.  Or you can go to Japan or Europe.  There are clinical trials in the USA, call 888-874-4384 to find one near you, but those doctors are not as experienced as the ones who have been going abroad to treat men.  There's even a doc in California to flys to Germany to treat women with breast cancer with HIFU.

Much good luck, but it's going to be your job to lead him....like my wife did for me.

 

On 9/17/2009 jcr65566 wrote:

 

You don't know it yet. But I believe you have a very brave husband. and he has a very careing wife and by what you told us he all has a lot of good in-site. I'm 57 and when I had a biopsy in 2007 I found out I realty had prostrate cancer. To tell you the truth I realty wish I never went near a prostate biopsy. You see , I found out I first had a high PSA in 1992. I was just in my 40s back then. My doctor at the time said I had a high PSA of 3.5 he said I should have it check every 6 months or so, so that what I did, I had it checked every 6 months or so, or when I thought about getting it checked. Doing this I found it went up in winter and come down a bit in summer. But It stayed about the 3 to 3.5 mark for 15 years. Then in 2007, when I had an other PSA test, It come back, a PSA of 4. My doctor said I should have a biopsy. So I seen a urologist four month later. But just to be sure, I ask my doctor if he could do a other PSA test, it come back 4 again, so I had the biopsy. They found I had a Gleason score of 8, and from then every thing just got worst. I had a PSA test three month later, it come back a PSA of 6. I started to get a pain in my penis so I flew to Sydney to see a urologist and I flew to Brisbane to see an other urologist, both of whom would not do the surgery because of my weight. I'm 6ft and weigh 300lbs. Three months later, another PSA test showed it was a PSA of 8. but by this time I had pain in my back and my ribs, so my doctor sent me for a bone scan it found I had prostrate bone metastasis , in my ribs and my lower back. I was in so much pain I could not sleep much ,I would go to sleep and wake up in pain, my doctor was worried I would roll over in bed and brake my spine, and be come a para. Three weeks with not much sleep is no fun, I tell yeah, My wife finely got onto a naturopath who know a lot about cancer. And on her advice with in a week or so, I was free of pain. She had me go onto a no sugar diet. and order and take liquid cellular Zeolites 15 drops 4 times a day, I was all so on 6 grams of vitamin C a day, and a high dose of Zinc, a year later a bone scan found I had no cancer in my bones but I still had it in my prostate since then Iva move on to holistic treatments. I have other things like Red clover, and flack seed oil, and cottage cheese. But I still stay away from any Sugary food or drink even fruit sugars as I was told there a spoon full of sugar in just one apple in 2007 my PSA went up to 13.8 now in 2009 it 8.2 I think it will be lower next PSA test just have to see. Can you tell me what was his PSA last time all the best Ray

 

Thanks, Ray--his psa was 4.5 in April this year.  We went to a doctor for the mri-s and that doc put him on supplements vitamin D3 and fish oil.  His percent free psa is at 8. 

The psa came down to 3.8 just in a month and a half of taking the supplements.  This made my husband very happy, because he said the supplements must be working.  I hope they are, but the fact remains that something suspicious was found on the mri-s, and my husband is acting like it will go away if he just keeps taking the supplements.  I would love to believe it will go away just by taking these supplements.  I am wondering, though, if taking the supplements is just reducing the number, and there might still be cancer there even though the number is at the level it was a year ago.  That is why I really want to know if we are dealing with cancer or not...

I do know, however, that part of this is just my own fear kicking into overdrive, because I have lost the rest of my family and my husband is all I have left.  I tend to want answers yesterday for things, and I am trying to tell myself that we have time to research this and we don't have to be in a hurry!  Some days I convince myself, other days not so much...

You stated that you are on a no-sugar diet.  We have greatly reduced the amount of red meat, sugar, fat and caffeine in our diets.  Now my question is, can you give me an example of some of the things you do eat?  I am the main cook at the house, and I need some ideas to keep our diet healthy!  It's hard to do no sugar, but yet eat lots of fruits and veggies.  Thanks for your help..

I have advanced prostate cancer and according to Web MD there is no cure for advanced prostate cancer. The only treatment I use is alternative, supplements and diet. This has been successfull for over 3 years. It also has helped many others. As long as his PSA continues in a negative velocity its working. One good side effect is that it heals the whole body. My last PSA dropped from 0.59 to 0.46. I still have my prostate and I am not on any hormone therapy.

Some anti- cancer foods are walnuts, aspragus, red cabbage, brooclli, tumeric, cauliflower. One of the main supplements is pomegrante extract.

If you would like more information please visit my web site at

www.alternativeprostatecancer.com

Dan

 

Hi dymo2009 4.5 to 3.8 not bad its good. I think hes right the vitamin are having a good  effect. Also  about the diet.  we just have a lot of salad some night and vegetables on other nights But of a morning I have the Dr Bugwig diet. but though you can find a lot of anti-cancer diet on the Internet most are for Patients who are on chemo, or who are finished chemo They talk a lot about avoiding food with saturated fats and tri-fats here a link to Dr Budwig site  http://cancertutor.com/Cancer/Budwig.html

You know in our cancer support group, there are a few men, who have know they have had prostate cancer for a long time, some over 20 years and they have had no treatment. bar just no sweet foods I have know I have had it since I was 40  that about 17 years, it was only when I went and had the prostate biopsy, that it went really bad, I notice a lot of prostate cancer patients, in the support group, who  have had prostate cancer,  having a biopsy has had little or no effect on them. I've been told by my doctor,  it because I have an aggressive form of the prostate cancer, I don't believe this, all or most  prostate cancers are Adenocarinoma or ( gland cancer )  Adenocarinoma needs sex hormone to survive, ( mostly testosterone) take away the sex hormone, and the Adenocarinoma dies. Of a morning I have red clover  as well as 8g a day of vitamin C plus about a litre of soy milk, a day.  I also use a product called Trinovin. it has red clover in it. The Isoflavones in the  red clover mimic testosterone by taking it place on the Adenocarinoma  cancer receptors site. So it blocks the testosterone from getting in to the cancer cell. with out the testosterone the cancer cell dies. so we have less cancer cells. But the Isoflavones do more then that , see this link http://www.isoflavones.info/prostate-cancer.php

Also sugar a problem another is fruit some fruit are ok some are not as some in them selfs, have a cancer fighting ability. fruits like olives, mangoes, tomato  strawberries and grapes fights cancer in human and animal cells, another  to look out for is saturated fats and try- fats this is from "Dr Ross walker Book, The Cell Factor.  The cells in our body are always repairing the outer membrane of there cell wall. to do this they use fats. Now a normal cell in our body dos not know one lot of fat from an other lot of fat it will take any fat molecule that comes along the problem is saturated fates and try fats are smaller when there placed in the cell walls membrane nutrients cant get in easy, so the cell changes it DNA code in it cell nucleus this allows the cell to get bigger so it can get more nutrients in. but by doing this it one way to also turns it self in to a cancer cell. the thing that fixes this is  the Budwig diet it removes saturated fats from the damage cancer cells and replaces them with good fats The saturated fats and tri-fats also cause an electric problem in every cell they get into. see the Budwig link and you will learn more about it.

This is from

http://www.weightlossresources.co.uk/diet/healthy_diet/prost

When looking at diet in conjunction with cancer of the prostate, Saturated Fat is the big evil. Cases of prostate cancer are more common in westernised countries where saturated fat is more prevalent in the day to day diet. Incidences of prostate cancer also rose within eastern countries as they started to become more ‘westernised’ is also a correlation between the number of cases of prostate cancer and obesity.

Red meat, such as beef, lamb and pork are thought to increase the risk of prostate cancer as they contain a lot of fat. Up to as much as 30-40% in cuts from domesticated farm animals when cooked. Dairy produce has also been linked to prostate cancer because of its saturated fat content.

Overall, it seems that levels of saturated fat in the diet can greatly increase the risk of prostate cancer. Therefore, making sure you have a healthy diet and keeping your intake of fat in check, can help to prevent/decrease the risk of prostate cancer. As an added bonus, reducing your consumption of fat can also decrease the risk of other cancers, as well as diseases such as heart disease and diabetes.

I wish you both well if he gos on the bugwig diet I know it has taken me up to a year to repair most of the damage cells in my  body all I know is I feel bettter then I was be for God bles Ray

I have to admit that at first I was in denial. Actually on the way to the doctor's office for my first visit I phoned my wife to tell her (jokingly) I was not going. A higher than normal PSA doesn't necessarily mean he has P.C.. It might be an enlarged prostate. Perhaps you can use that tactic to get him to see the doctor. Generally, speaking P.C. is a slow growing cancer, so he has some time to let it sink-in e.g. a couple of months as opposed to a couple of days. You should note, however, that it may not be cancer. It could be a condition called PBH - Benign Prostatic Hyperplasia. This could be raising his PSA. A positive DRE, and a PSA 4 ng/l is the usual threshold for more extensive evaluation like a biopsy. What is the PSA score? I received a PSA test (score: 5.6), and about a week later I was in a Urologist's office for a DRE (result: asymmetrical and some firmness). The physician suggested that I come in the next week for a biopsy (result: 9 of 12 cores cancerous, Gleason 6). I then scheduled a radical retropubic prostatectomy (RRP) about 2 months later. From the first appointment to the RRP it was about 3 months. I did not do the radiation therapy b/c of my age and the improved likelihood of success with RRP. Be aware, once you elect radiation, surgery is not an option. One thing to explain to him is that the sooner he goes to see the Urologist, the sooner he can get treatment and the likelier the probability of a cure. But I am sure you've said this to him. I suspect he's in denial since he may be thinking of all his misconceptions of the disease and potential treatments. He should consider the following.. 1. P.S., as long as it is contained within the prostate gland, is curable. So the sooner he goes to have it treated the better. 2. Although radiation and surgery are options; chemo is not an option. P.C. is a slow growing disease and chemo is thought to be ineffective as a treatment; 3. The surgery option is a lot simpler than it used to be. I was in and out of the hospital in 3 days and back at work in 30 days. I didn't even need a blood transfusion.; and 4. In fairness to you and the family, he owes it to you to get diagnosed and treated. It is selfish for him not to go to the doctor. He may have a legitimate phobia of doctors. However, on the other hand, he just might be a baby about it. Good luck. I hope things work out.

I am sorry for your dilemna.  My husband is 52 and he is in Jacksonville Florida right now being treated for prostate cancer at the University of Floriday Proton Beam Therapy Institute.  He gets zapped everyday then he goes about his day, playing golf or sight seeing.  We have a young son in school so I wasn't able to be with him, we don't live in Florida.  Anyway, my point is there is an unintrusive way to treat prostate cancer and it is covered by most insurances.  The "graduates" of the program that I have talked to have no problems with sex or peeing.  Maybe your husband would be willing to get tested if he knew there was a treatment option that wouldn't change his quality of life.  Only about 2% of prostate cancer patients get proton therapy because the doctors aren't as familiar with it as they are surgery or radiation.  Check it out, it was the right solution for us.  If you have any questions, I will be happy to answer them to the best of my ability.

 -Anne