nausea & vomiting

Hello. First of all, thank you to everyone who shares on here. It is helpful. Something struck me on one of these posts, someone said "do not feel sorry for the cancer patient". Does everyone agree with that?"

My husband is a physician (I say that because it's difficult since he knows too much)  who was diagnosed with Stage 4 EC with mets to liver, bones and lymph nodes. He had targeted radiation and chemo.He has responded well to chemo and is continuing that. Surgery is not an option. His biggest problem is nausea and vomiting. He was hospitalized at the local hospital where he works for 10 weeks. We transferred him to Mayo in Rochester where he stayed for almost 3 weeks. He is finally home and doing better except for the N&V. He requires round the clock Dilaudid, Phenergan and Ativan to keep it under control. He sleeps a lot. Anyone else with this problem? He's on continuous feeding and does not eat or drink anything by mouth. We took him to Mayo for the prolonged N&V, but they didn't really come up with a concrete cause, other than radiation scarring and ulcerations. It just seems to be his unfortunate complication. I read through these posts and see that other people are able to eat and exercise etc. He has not lost much muscle strength, but he has no endurance for physical activity. Thank you to anyone who can help.

I centainly don't agree with that statement. Feeling sorry is being compassionate. We need to be supported in this very difficult time. I'm sorry that at 52 I may have to leave my wife and son. I feel sorry for all of us and anyone els who faces cancer and there loved ones who also suffer. God bless us all.

I had lots of N/V for the first 3 months but after that it really deminished.

 God bless to you and your husband and keep looking foward

I agree, it's about being compassionate. We have 3 college age children and it's been really hard on my husband too. He apologizes a lot and feels bad. We keep telling him it's the cancer's fault, not his.

May I ask what stage you are and if you had surgery? It's so difficult because he's responding well to chemo right now. We know it's palliative, but we had really hoped for a better quality of life. He's taking meds for nausea and pain around the clock. I try to encourage him to get up and walk around. He did yesterday. He came outside with us for a while. The whole thing just sucks!

I appreciate you responding and I wish you well.

Hi,

My husband is also dealing with N&V almost all the time.  He is getting chemo every other week and usually starts to feel better about 2 days before he has to do it all over again.  He also feels bad and says sorry because he can't help me much around the house because he feels so bad.  He even asked me if I was mad at him.  I told him I'm mad at cancer.  It is such a hard thing to deal with it.  It's nice to have support on this message board. I am being compassionate and trying hard to make him comfortable and tell him that he has to think of the chemo as killing the cancer.  He now gags every time he even thinks about going to the doctor.  Take care and God bless you and your family.

Cathy

Hi Cathy,

Thanks for replying. It helps to connect with others going through this. Is your husband able to eat? It is such a blow to my husband. He LOVED to eat. He watches the Food Channel a lot. He went from working and being healthy to a total turnaround. He was diagnosed on June 11, admitted June 21, discharged to Mayo on August 31 and discharged to home on Sept. 18. He spent 2 days in the hospital last week. We are adjusting to being home after all this time. He feels helpless and he sleeps a lot because of the meds. At least he hasn't vomited for 3 days now. We're keeping on top of it with the medication.

Thanks again!

Cathy

When my husband had been out of chemo awhile, I still gave him a zofran before taking him to the oncologist to flush his port every month. The smell of the place made him sick. It's called chemo induced nausea and vomiting and is worse in men under 50 for some reason. We were painting recently and I noticed I was nauseous, then I realized his appetite had dropped way off and gave him his anti emetics and he started eating again, but he is still smell sensitive and needs a little extra help now and then when it gets to him.

i think everything your husband is going through is completely normal. although, i never vomitted, i did have the nausea and the fatigue.  the more my treatment went on the worse the fatique got.  i also have small children...at the time, they were 3 and 7.  it was not easy, but I thank God for my family.....lots of support makes a huge difference in fighting the battle.

 as far as feeling sorry for the patient..... i agree....do not feel sorry. show compassion and support, but never sorrow.  i know for me, one of the hardest parts in dealing with this was the thought of my loved ones(my mother especially) having to see me go through it.  it broke my heart to know they had sorrow for me.  they were very strong...i know they felt the pain however, they did their best to hide it and remain confident.  i know that helped me tremendously.

On 9/28/2009 Stacey19 wrote:

i think everything your husband is going through is completely normal. although, i never vomitted, i did have the nausea and the fatigue.  the more my treatment went on the worse the fatique got.  i also have small children...at the time, they were 3 and 7.  it was not easy, but I thank God for my family.....lots of support makes a huge difference in fighting the battle.

 as far as feeling sorry for the patient..... i agree....do not feel sorry. show compassion and support, but never sorrow.  i know for me, one of the hardest parts in dealing with this was the thought of my loved ones(my mother especially) having to see me go through it.  it broke my heart to know they had sorrow for me.  they were very strong...i know they felt the pain however, they did their best to hide it and remain confident.  i know that helped me tremendously.

Thank you Stacey. I asked that question because I was wondering if we were responding the wrong way. I am reading a book as my time allows, and it says don't try to cheer the patient up and tell them not to feel what they are feeling. I rarely cry in front of my husband. I'm trying to be strong. Albeit, I'm 50 and the interrupted sleep gets to me, so I'm a little cranky sometimes. I know it's not fair to him. I have an awful lot on my plate. We have to sell our home since we have no income coming in and there is a lot to do to get it ready, besides all the everyday normal things that need to be done. We are far away from family and live 30 min. from anyone that wants to help us. It's tough. He doesn't want to go through this either. He's responding well to chemo, but the N&V are giving him a poor quality of life and he doesn't want to continue this way. He sits in his chair all day and only gets up to go to the bathroom. He won't eat or drink because he's afraid of the pain and vomiting. He's been told he's depressed but he argues that it's situational. If he felt better, he wouldn't be depressed.

Anyway... thank you for responding. I don't know if you have any further advice, but I appreciate you sharing.

Hi again,

He had his third treatment yesterday and hasn't been sick this time.  He's actually eating.  Weird.  They tried a new drug called Amend and I think that really helped alot.  He's actually up and walking around.  THe last two treatments he couldn't get off the couch, was constantly naseaus and had diarrhea for several days.  It seems to be that we have to just try different things until we figure out what helps.  God bless you and your family.

Cathy

Hi Cathy,

I'm so glad the Amend worked. It worked for my husband too. It only seems to work for the chemo nausea though. We think his persistent nausea is because of the radiation, although he finished that 3 months ago. He's going for Chemo tomorrow and he's not feeling well. Not sure if they will give it to him. This is such a crazy ride we are on. I'm glad your husband feels better. We are so grateful for those good days aren't we?! My heart breaks for my husband.

Thanks for your post!