Hello,
This is my first post.
I found out August 31 2009 that I have eg juncntion cancer at stage 3. A few weeks later I had a port placed in my neck with a box thingy in my upper chest where they can access it. This port is a God send since it took 'em 3 tries to find a vien for an iv. Three days later I recieved my first big batch of chemo and was also put on a chemo pump to deliver chemo to me 24/7 for the next 12 weeks. Every three weeks I get another big dose of chemo that takes all day. I get very sick after the big chemo trips for several days. At the end of this 12 week cycle it's more pet scans to see if it's working...and if so I'm going in for major surgery. They are going to take out most of my stomach and part of my esophogous. After that, more chemo with the addition of radiation. I've read that Iv'e got about a 20-50% chance of living for more than 5 years...we'll see.
I'll tell ya', I'm scared to death. I worry more for my family than for myself. What if I don't make it? I've got bills, lot's of them. My life insurance isn't to good. It won't even cover half of what I owe. I checked about getting more life insuance but was told I'm uninsurable with this diagnoses. I'm 44 married with three kids...a 22, 19 and 17 year old. I was planning on bringing my debt under control over the next 10-15 years as the kids move on...but now.....I don't know. I'll tell you this, I've got alot to live for and will fight this thing all I can. but if it gets to the point to where all I'm doing is taking them into further debt...
I'm not scared to die, I'm just worried about my family. Who's going to fix a flat tire in the middle fo the night. Or take care of a overheatd radiator. Who's shoulder will they cry on when things go wrong for them. Nobdy takes care of your kids like you can. How about when one says,"I think I want to get married but...." And I'm not thier to lend advice.
God, if your reading this, I'm ok with what I'm fixing to go thru because I know your here with me...just let me make it thru, not for me but for them. Amen