Need To Vent

My uncle was dianogsed with stage 4 lung cancer in Aug of this year.  We have been very close all my life, he is like my second dad.  The cancer is small cell and has spread to his liver and bones.  He is always on oxygen and is soo weak.  He is has finished his second round of chemo.  I know that things are not good for him, but it is so hard to see him like he is.  I don't know what to say to him. I want to be positive, and try to make him laugh, but it is so hard.  i am so scared that he can see the fear in my eyes.  Last night when I saw him he said that he was so tired of all this sh##.  I keep trying to be upbeat, but seeing him in so much pain is so hard.  I am trying to spend time with him, telling him stories about my little one to make him laugh, and keep his mind off of the pain.  It is so hard to see him like this, he was such a big tough guy and to see him so skinny & weak it about kills me.  Any advice on how to deal with all this?  I am so angry about this, why does he have to suffer like this? 

Thanks for letting me vent!!!!!!!!!

So sorry your family is going through this.  I just lost my mother to Pancreatic Cancer and saw her suffer 4 months out of 9 (diagnosed).  Our selfish side never wants them to go.  At times I would pray that god would stop the pain.  I would literally cry in silence standing behind her.  She was skin and bones.  Cancer is a DEMON!! Spend as much time as you can with him.  You'll have no regrets and have enjoyed the time spent with him.

I am so sorry for your loss.  Thank you for your kind words. 

 

On 10/13/2009 joeysmom33 wrote:

My uncle was dianogsed with stage 4 lung cancer in Aug of this year.  We have been very close all my life, he is like my second dad.  The cancer is small cell and has spread to his liver and bones.  He is always on oxygen and is soo weak.  He is has finished his second round of chemo.  I know that things are not good for him, but it is so hard to see him like he is.  I don't know what to say to him. I want to be positive, and try to make him laugh, but it is so hard.  i am so scared that he can see the fear in my eyes.  Last night when I saw him he said that he was so tired of all this sh##.  I keep trying to be upbeat, but seeing him in so much pain is so hard.  I am trying to spend time with him, telling him stories about my little one to make him laugh, and keep his mind off of the pain.  It is so hard to see him like this, he was such a big tough guy and to see him so skinny & weak it about kills me.  Any advice on how to deal with all this?  I am so angry about this, why does he have to suffer like this? 

Thanks for letting me vent!!!!!!!!!

Hello:

I am so sorry to hear this.  I know exactly what you are going thru.  My mom lasted only 9 months (same condition as your Uncle).  From beginning i tried to make Mom happy and laughed but the last 2, 3 months it was so hard to watch her suffering and on ventillator.  I was so scared and sad so I could not come up with any thing funny to tell her any more especially I was the most funny person in town ( have a large social network group and every1 know i was born as a comedian in heart ! ).

My mom was robbed of her retirement as the doctors did not properly treat her.  79 days go by after Mom had passed away, i m still sad and crying.... 

Pls try to video record the time you with him. Let him eat any things he wants cuz at the end he might not able to eat anymore.  Drink more green tea / antioxidant juice during chemo to reboost his energy.  Eat/cook ginger with foods / tea to reduce his neaseau symptoms.  If he is over 60 yo, ask the doctor to give him Pneumonia / flu and shingles shots to prevent complication at the end.  If he looses too much weight ask the doctor to give him TPN IV supplements ( 1000 dollars per bag ) so his body got enuf noursihment to fight cancer and chemo toxic....

Check this website for more info on Small Cell Lung Cancer diagnosis and treatment, www.lungcancerclaims.com

Also, pls ask to see if the doctor could let him to take the Tarceva or Avastin along with Chemo.  Got 2nd / 3rd opinion who would give him such extra pills instead just chemo iv to prolong his life...

Take care,

Best wishes,

Vic

I am sorry to hear of your uncle's dx and current state.  Sometimes, you just can't stay upbeat about this stuff - I am only 45 and was diagnosed with Stage IV LC - but I really value the people who around me who are trying to support me. 

Just talking, playing cards, laughing, crying, etc. - any time with friends and family is well spent. 

I was given a book called Glimpses of Heaven, written by a Hospice Nurse.  It was very comforting and yes, a little sad.  The truth is we are not in control of some things in our life and cancer is one of them.  It does suck!  But we can fight, pray and love the people around us.  I hope that your uncle finds peace in whatever way possible, as well as you too. 

Best Regards,

Ann