need support

4 Posts | Page(s): 1 

need support

by anne_m_6 on Tue Oct 13, 2009 12:00 AM

Quote | Reply

I am new at this, but I need some support. My husband (46) has stage 4 colon cancer. He is very sick and we get different answers from the doctors. We are going to Mayo soon, hope to get some good answers then. We have 4 children 3 in college, They are good help but I want them to go on with their lives. My mother-n-law was good at first but when I wanted diffrent treatment then she wanted she el-mail people, That because I work for hospice(cna) Thats all I see and I am not positive for my husband (we have been married for 20 years) and he only needs positve people around him. I am so mad at her because she is trying to cause problems with us at this time. The e-mail were very hurtful and people writing them only heard from her.  My husbands mother and sister  do not see the big picture and how sick he is. I do think I am positive and I do not want to loose my best freind. Cancer does not care who you are or how old you are or what kind of person you are. We will fight cancer and win,  God bless

RE: need support

by movinnurse on Thu Oct 15, 2009 12:00 AM

Quote | Reply
I'm so sorry you have been put in this position.  It's tough to deal with in the best of cases....to not have family support makes it so much worse.  Know that lots of us keep you in our prayers.  Your job will be to advocate for your husband and support his decisions,  not those of others around him.  Those of us in healthcare see a much more realistic picture;  we know the positive/negative of this horrid disease.  Sometimes I wish I only knew what the doctors tell me....

RE: need support

by millyppl on Tue Oct 20, 2009 12:00 AM

Quote | Reply

 

On 10/15/2009 movinnurse wrote:

I'm so sorry you have been put in this position.  It's tough to deal with in the best of cases....to not have family support makes it so much worse.  Know that lots of us keep you in our prayers.  Your job will be to advocate for your husband and support his decisions,  not those of others around him.  Those of us in healthcare see a much more realistic picture;  we know the positive/negative of this horrid disease.  Sometimes I wish I only knew what the doctors tell me....

Amen to that. I would give almost anything not to know what I do. However at times I am thankful to know it is a help to his care( my other half).

In regards to the 1st message many of us battle this fight, I am to a point doing the same. I have to admit not to tthe extreme you are. It may be time to let your mother-in law in on some facts of cancer caregiving. It will be very hard but you should tell her you have to do something and put her in charge of his care for a day or 2. Let her see the realities of what you as a couple are going through. She is naturally going to be angry her son is sick and she cant fix it. She also has to see your pain right now she is lashing out at the only thing she has been allowing herself to focus on her anger at you has allowed her to deny the real thing she should be angry at the disease. Good luck and know that you are not alone many out there are fighting this to.                            Milly

RE: need support

by cdncancersociet on Tue Nov 03, 2009 03:01 PM

Quote | Reply

Yes, do not give up the fight against cancer! You are not alone, many Canadians are fighting it. Listen to their stories and join the fight: www.fightback.ca . 

4 Posts | Page(s): 1 
Subscribe to this message board discussion

Latest Messages

CancerCompass Poll

How often do you use a mobile device (e.g., iPhone, Blackberry, etc.) to access the internet?

We care about your feedback. Let us know how we can improve your CancerCompass experience.