On Oct 17, 2009 12:00 AM Chessie wrote:
On 10/17/2009
Eyriu wrote:
I know that this is a touchy subject, but has anyone had difficulty with Hospice? My mother is at my sister's house and my sister is not allowing any family members or friends to visit, (the police are called) nor is my mother able to receive telephone calls. (Her telephone message comes on as "memory full.") The hospice social worker suggested family therapy, which 4 of 5 adult children attended, but when things did not go the way my sister wished, she refused to attend any further counseling sessions. The hospice nurse and hospice social worker say that it is not within their perview to intervene in such matters. Meanwhile my sister is frightening my mother by saying that we are going to kidnap her, that I am on "street drugs" (I am not, nor have I ever been. As soon as I learned that my sister was telling my mother this, I even went to the hospital and had a drug test to prove it.) Calls to the Hospice Director are not returned.
Where do we go from here?
This is not why Hospice is involved. The only responsibility they have is to care for the patient.
Did your mother give your sister power of attorney to handle her affairs? If she did, you may not have much recourse. I believe I would get with the other family members and contact an attorney for advice.
We have gone to an attorney but it is a slow process and time will most likely run out before any legal recourse. On the attorney's advice we went from the attorney's office to see my mom - and my sister called the police. All was calm and civilized, the police officer agreed with us and attempted to talk my sister into letting us see our mom - to no avail. The officer also spoke with my mother who told him that she did want to see us and talk to us but that she couldn't. When he tried to have her explain, all she did was just shake her head and start to cry.
If Hospice's responsibility is to care for the patient, does this not include their psychological comfort as well? Can our case be the only case of coercion and isolation? It is frustrating because the Director of the local hospice will not answer nor return telephone calls.
My sister has financial power of attorney but not legal power of attorney. In a conversation with my mother while she was in the hospital she said that she did not want my sister to have legal power of attorney - that she did not want the same person to have both legal power and financial power. I didn't ask why, at the time I just thought that if that was what she wanted, that was fine.
My sister and I have never been particularly close - difference in ages and geographical distance - but we have never had any problems either.
My parents stayed with my husband and myself while my father was under Hospice care prior to his death. There was no problem with friends and family members coming and staying as long or as short as they liked. That is also why I am so hurt by all of this. My mom is under a different Hospice organization than my dad was, but still this issue needs to be addressed.