Stage 4

Hi , i'am here to recieve some advice. My best friends mom had surgey today to get tumors removed and was informed that she had stage 4 colon cancer. and the doctor said she only had about 6 months to live. i have always been there for my friend but i guess i just dont know how i can help her now.

Please stay in close contact with your friend.  i just discovered my dad has stage 4 colon cancer and i don't know where i'd be right now if my friends deserted me because they felt helpless.  Let them know you are there, let them know you will listen when they want to vent, or have a shoulder ready when they need a hug or to cry.  The worst thing you can do is back away because you feel nervous or uncomfortable about the situation.

My friends greatly helped me while I lost both parents to stage IV cancer... my Mom lived for just under a year and Dad who was diagnosed just four months after Mom died lived for 20 months.  My friends helped me so much by making dinners on chemo days for me, bringing Starbucks to chemo treatments and sending me and Dad/Mom cards with instant lottery tickets to let me know they were thinking of us.  It was all such a help... especially when I didn't have to worry about dinner and had a home cooked meal waiting for me after a long day at chemo!  Be there and do things without waiting to be asked!

Get a 2nd opinion, I know someone who had stage 4 rectal cancer, had surgery and treatments 5 years ago, all clear and considered cured.  Maybe Cancer Treatment Centers of America.

First, no doctor can say exactly how long someone has to live 6 months out.  They can only give you an idea during the last month or so.  It will all depend on whether your friend's mom has chemo and how she responds to it.  It will also depend on whether the metastases are resectable or can become resectable during chemo.  There was a recent study done by MD Anderson in Houston, TX analyzing the records of colon cancer patients.  They found that the average Stage 4 patient now lives about 30 months.  Previously, that average had been about 8 months.  There have been many improvements in chemo drugs over the last 8 years and there is a lot of research going on. 

You didn't say what kind of doctor told her she only had six months, but my guess is that it might be her surgeon who tend to be the most negative doctors in terms of prognosis. Tell your friend's mom to find an aggressive, competent oncologist and her prognosis might be much better.  Stage 4 colon cancer is a very serious disease, but it is treatable.

Jack

Just to add to the others advise...my Dad was diagnosed with Stage 4 colon cancer and also was told 6 months to a year to live.  It has now been 18 months and he's on a break from chemo for awhile because he's doing well!  I know that I'll probably see this disease eventually take him but he has exceeded expectations and has had the chance to do so many awesome things as a result of this diagnosis that there ARE some blessings...you just have to look.  My friends were amazing.  I think the best advise I can give anyone (and something that was a deciding factor on who I remain friends with now) is to call your friend and always ask how her Dad is doing.  Ask what you can do and not only ASK but LOOK for things you can do.  It may mean taking her to dinner and a movie to get away from the stress or going over on a day she's gone and cleaning her house.  I don't know how old you are...if she has kids offer a night off and babysit for her.  But..more than anything always ask how he is doing...because no matter how good things are going it will never be far from her mind!  I have no doubts you will be a very supportive friend...she's lucky to have you! 

I'm sorry...it's your friends MOM not Dad....I didn't read it close enough!  

Thanks for all the advice i really appreciated it.

I am a stage IV colon cancer survivor going on 4 years now. I have been in treatment most of the time. Support your friend - but no doctor decides how long someone has to live. Treatments are getting better and the human spirit is an intangible they will never be able to calculate. None of us get out of this alive and living all of your days is my best advice to everyone. Don't let fear steal your future or your present!

Everyone is different, but when I was initially diagnosed with Stage IV and given 6 months to live but that I could die at any moment, I took matters into my own hand.

I sought treatment at a top medical facilty, and have been without evidence of disease for over 5 years now.

I always suggest seek other opinions if you don't like your advice.  I talked to many doctors before I found ones with a positive outcome and treatment plan for me.