World on my shoulders

I love to travel. I recently gave my notice at my job and bought myself a ticket to travel Thailand. I went to my parents house for dinner to be with them 7 days befor I was to set off. I recieved the news that he has Colon Cancer, 3 large tumores on his liver as well as aprox 20 other spots. Everyone is so positive with the idea that he is going to beat this. Everything inside me tells me even though I have no idea of what we're dealing with that he is going to die. My parents have no medical insurance as well as no money. My dad says he has had the symptoms for almost 2 years. I cancelled my ticket. I was only supposed to be gone for 4 months but could not enjoy myself knowing this info. I feel as though my parents need this money more then I and I need to spend what little time he has left with him. We are not close but he is my father. I only have one. I am 29 and He is 61 and has not taken care of himself. Where do I find the strength to walk this path with a positive attitude. I consider myself realistic.

Your post hit me very hard.  My father was diagnosed with GBM in October 07 and my mother was the major caretaker. As with your dad, my parents had always ignored their health to degree feeling like living in the country was the cure to everything...healthy air and such.

My mom and I are very close and my dad and I were not at all.  In January 08 after finishing his radiation treatments, he had a major seizure and was not able to walk again.  I began the trip every weekend to my parent's home about 2 hours away to give my mom some relief.  It's interesting how God uses situations to bring about change.  I was doing it for mom...it turned in to doing it for dad.  I will NEVER change the 4 months I had with him.  God performed a miracle in my life...I now have this beautiful memory of the time spent with my dad that removed the 50 years of distance we had always had.

Caretaking is a tough journey.  The strength comes . . . even on the days when you feel like you can't put one foot in front of the other.  Whether you decide to walk this yourself or just be a support for your mom during this time, you will be amazed at how God can transform the feelings you have for your father.

You will be in my prayers.  Hugs to you!

Cris

So, traveler, you are on a different kind of journey. This isn't the one you anticipated.  A different language will be spoken, different temples will be entered. Keep a journal of this serendipitous trip.