Facing the end

I have been with this cancer site for quite a while It has helped reading about people with lung cancer. It is over two years since my husband has been diagnoised with stage 3 lung cancer He tood the chemo & radiation  It did seems to help & they said the tumor had gotten smaller. My husband & I were happy with this It came back after a year & they said he could not take any more chemo or radiation At this point he is getting very weak The doctor said we should tell him that there is nothing else they can do. I refuse too do this because no one  knows my husband like I do after 35 years of marriage. He has asked where do I go from here I think if he knows the truth he will just give up I think in the back of his mind he really knows because he feels so bad & the time will come when he will be sure but why rush it I am not sure if I am making the right decision  Has anyone had to face this? Joan

Dear Joan,

I don't think there's a one-size-fits-all on this. Some people really want to know where they are on the journey. Others prefer to believe in a miracle happening, right to the end. There's no right and wrong.

I would trust your instincts, though, knowing him as you do. Emphasize that you are going to be with him and will never stop looking for ways to make each day the best it can be, for him to be safe and comfortable and painfree. We all know by now that when you have serious advanced cancer, no one can say exactly what will happen each day. Too many bad  and sad moments have taught us this. But we can promise to each other that we will not let each other down in terms of love and affection.

Hope you have lots of support. Accept help whenever it's offered... may it be offered often. But also take time to be by yourself when you need it.

Peace,
Sarah

mother of Andy 27 dx gbm Jan. 09

 I just found out Nov. 3 that my mom has lung cancer and when the doctor talked to the family, they basically said that she will get radiation to shrink the tumor in her lungs so she can breath easlier but they can only make her comfortable.  I wanted to ask questions but wasn't going to do it with my mom there and the docor left.  My sister is older so she has been living at the hospital and when I call, she doesn't tell me anything other than mom is resting.  I have a 11 yr. old so they advised me that will the swin flu, i didn't need to bring him tot he hospital but I live out of town and have nobody to watch him.  Since she can't have chemo, what or how long does she have? I don't want to her to be in pain if they know the end is near.

Dear Joan,  I also have lung cancer and I ordered Suzanne Somers new book 'Knockout'. She interviews a lot of different Drs. on alternative methods.  This is a very interesting book and there IS different things we can do for ourselves.  I wish you and your husband the very best.

At the moment, I'm on Tarceva, an oral Chemo drug, but I am also taking alot of vitamins.  Please don't ever take 'NO' for an answer, there is always something else to do or try.

Best Wishes

Peggy