No Help from Hospice

What does my sister do?  My Mom is now dead weight.  We can't move her.  She has Lung Cancer, Kindey Cancer and Liver Cancer.  Amazing no symptoms or pain of any kind.  But she can't move at all she is just dead weight, she eats very little.  My sister can't lift her at all and we can't afford help, we thought they would send someone over for a few hours a day.  It doesn't make sense that if you can't manage at home they will put you in a dirty old rest home, I don't have anything good to say about them.  Anyway it would seem cheaper for her Secure Horizons to have someone come over about 8 hours a day a help get her a bath and change her pants or help her to the porta poty. She has all of her senses that is the sad part.  She does sleep about 20 hours a day though.  Hospice comes once a day and baths her for 1 hour.  That is all, and the nurse comes about ever three days or so.  Are we saying the wrongs things not to get help or what, does anyone out there have any sugguestions?

 

1st where are you? If you are in the us call council on aging get a caseworker assigned to help. Ask insurance company for a home health aid, If medicare then you may have to go through hospice depending on the contract you signed with them. Have you told them you need more help? are you rolling mom from side to side ( fold a sheet in half put in the center of her body and when you need to rotate her gently pull up to roll her). It will save your back and give mom a gentler roll. If you dont have many flat sheets stock up they will be your best friend (thrift shops are more affordable). You can fold into fourths and put a few under the half folded one to change out for accidents in bed and you do that the same way only you roll it up to you put the clean one under roll it up and put over as far as you can then go to the other side and unroll the rest, you remove soiled ones the same way. You should maybe practice before doing with her. You can add a trash bag under to keep bedding dry. Get a bedpan from any medical supply or ask your hospice nurse to get you one. Is mom eating what are you doing about meals, and mouthcare. If you keep her mouth moist she will be more comfy, you can get sponges to use at any pharmacy. And keep vaseline on her lips if they start to get dry along with the sponges.  If i can help with anything let me know.     Milly

Hi Milly, Thanks for answering. Well we got to the nursing home yesterday for "MY" Mother. Not anyone elses. Here we were in Hemet, Ca. the lowest nursing home of the entire Riverside County I am sure. They placed her from Hospice site unseen for us. They didn't say it was the worst every just a bed I guess. No sheets on bed, no blanket on bed because it was so hot, my Mother is always cold but this place was a hell hole. The door was complete open when we got there, then they closed it and left the big whole in the screen so rats and mice can get through. No electric bed like she was on at home. No closet, not a big deal but we brought all of her things to hang up, tv that doesn't work. I will say it was clean and smelled nice but believe me when I say that was it I mean it. I will be calling hospice this morning about this whole thing, but let me tell you that this isn't the first this has happen to me, when they placed my Mother-in-Law this was the same thing, if you don't complain then they think you don't care.

That is horrible I cant imagine. You dont have to leave her there! You have the right to refuse. If you feel pressured by the hospice dont be they are there for you. Please dont let her stay there, she has the right to dignity now and always. Please take my advice you have a local council on aging here is the information. Council on Aging,  Resources(SERS) ... P.O. Box 1715, Hemet, CA 92545 / (951) 766-7476 / ... they can help in many different ways . I hope you take my advice, I went through them to help my mom when she got sick they sent someone everyday. It will give you some rest and they have alot of resourses to assist with almost everything you can imagine.

I worked in a few nursing homes both as an aide when I started and then a nurse, this is not what healthcare should be. Please check into this.

                                                     Milly

Dear Milly,

Thanks for caring about us.  I guess we were lucky, after I was up this morning typing at about 5:30 or 6:00 the phone rang.  My Mother passed away about 5:30 this morning.  She was in the rest home a total of 35 hours.  The Gods were with us.  She sure didn't want to be there and we didn't want her there.  My sister knew that things were getting bad  and that is why she decided to send her to the hospice bed in the rest home.  I remember when my Mother-in-law was in 6 rest homes in 9 months.  I am a expert when I tell you I will not take it from them.  Last time I contacted CANHR (California Advocates for Nursing Home Reform) I do know what I'm talking about.  How is the hell do they get away with it.  What report cards, where are the inspectors, just like the parole officers that were taking care of the Dugard Girl, if I was younger (67) I would be out there in force helping people like us.  Why can't we keep these family members at home and get the $ 4000.00 a month that they get from Medicare and get some help, you know when they need Hospice it won't be that long.  This is for my Mom and all the Grandma's & Grandpa's that are getting older, we need to hep now. God Bless this group. Jeanette