The one constant about this illness is change. Since my diagnosis in Sept 2007, 15 months of chemo, usual rads, etc. and now 2 recurrences (and perhaps a third--waiting for definitive word) change is the name of the game. The way I feel sometimes changes daily--and the way my mind deals with the knowledge that I have a terminal illness changes daily. It took me a long time to wrap my head around it. I realized I was still doing and feeling the same things I did before The Beast became a part of my life. I realized I was still alive. I stopped reading Chopra and just went on with life, such as it is. Good days, bad days. I'm very involved in my treatment, want to know everything, and when changes to my condition or treatment plan come about, I process it as best I can and move on.
It's a rollercoaster ride, we all know; an exhausting ride, but you've got to find a way to strap yourself in and hold onto the bar--tight--for your own sanity and well being. Try to enjoy each other as much as you can. It helps to push the fear and loathing to the back burner. Best wishes, Mary.