I think if you do some searching here you'll find posts about Duke not being the only reliable brain cancre hospital in the country. It got a lot of publicity during Ted Kennedy's treatment, but Dr. Freidman, whom I think likes the limelight, only removed 30% of his tumor andthe rest of his treatment was at MGH. As far as chemo, of course it makes him sick. Some are sicker than others.
The so-called Duke protocol is available to all neuroncologists. They do talk to each other. Sounds like your onc is being a bit lazy or negative, or not willing to deal with the truth. Spreading to other parts of the brain is not good. I know many come here to have their hand held, but I like to speak the truth. You ask, I answer with my most heartfelt, knowledgeable opinion. I've been at this for awhile.
What does your FIL want to do? It is ultimately his fight and his decision. Many people here keep things from the patient. I DON'T BELIEVE IN THAT, BUT IT'S YOUR CHOICE. I wish you the peace of knowing, no matter what, you made the right decision.