Hi Jenny,
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. My story is very similar to yours.... My mother was diagnosed in July last year after a couple of months of misdiagnosis. We were all devastated but my mam stayed strong and positve throughout.
They had to put a stint in the bile duct as it was blocked by the tumour causing severe jaundice. This helped for a short while. My mam kept her spirits up and we tried to do the same for her sake.
Never once was the word "Terminal" mentioned.
She was released from hospital at the begining of august and started chemo (gemcitabine) soon after as an out patient. She did not cope well with the chemo and her conditioned deteriorated quickly.She was then hospitalised again on the 5th sept (her 57th birthday) with jaundice back again and feeling really unwell. They tried to releive the jaundice again but to no avail.
As usual my mam stayed strong and positive and we tried to keep things as normal as possible for her.On the 12th sept she was really ill and had to have a morphine pump, and couldnt keep anything down only cuppa soups and ice pops.
She started to sleep all the time on and off.
On the 14th she had to have oxigen and was sleeping more. We were with her all the time, talking to her and holding her hands. Sadly she passed away that night at 12.15 in the morning...
It was a HUGE shock to me and my family as we did not expect this horrible disease to take my beautiful young vibrant full of life mother so quickly. She was the most amazing mother anyone could wish for and my best friend in the whole world and I miss her more than words could say. It only took 2 months for this horrible disease to take her, we thought we would at least have one last Christmas with her....but it was not to be.
I cant tell you any specific signs to look for when it is close to the end, but once the pain gets bad and they are sleeping all the time I think that is an indication....well in my experience anyway.
Just try to stay as strong as possible for your mom and be with her as much as you can.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your mom and family.
Tina, Dublin, Ireland.