How Do I Know How Much Longer?

Last August (after a couple months of misdiagnosis) my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I took a leave from my job in September to make sure she was getting along okay. During my winter break (i teach) I visibly saw her condition worsen. My brother (a doctor) didn't think it'd be long before she passes away.

But now, both my brother and I are suprised by how resillient my mom is, continuing to live... but she's in so much pain. She's very, very emaciated. She still eats (but only a few spoonfuls every meal). Her pain keeps worsening. She's begun to sleep a lot more this past week (although i'm not sure if it's because of the medications or other reasons). Her pain has increased. But she has good days (where she's fairly lucid, and doesn't seem to be as much in pain), and then bad days -- where she sleeps most of the day and can barely eat, or throws up everything. Her memory and lucidity has begun to go, but again i don't know if that's because she's medicated or because of her sickness...When she goes through a bout of vomitting or pain, or in the morning she keeps saying she just wants to die...

Can anyone tell me about how much longer she has? What was it like near the end? What are the symptoms that she doesn't have much longer?

Hi Jenny,
I am so sorry to hear about your mother. My story is very similar to yours.... My mother was diagnosed in July last year after a couple of months of misdiagnosis. We were all devastated but my mam stayed strong and positve throughout.
They had to put a stint in the bile duct as it was blocked by the tumour causing severe jaundice. This helped for a short while. My mam kept her spirits up and we tried to do the same for her sake.
Never once was the word "Terminal" mentioned.
She was released from hospital at the begining of august and started chemo (gemcitabine) soon after as an out patient. She did not cope well with the chemo and her conditioned deteriorated quickly.She was then hospitalised again on the 5th sept (her 57th birthday) with jaundice back again and feeling really unwell. They tried to releive the jaundice again but to no avail.
As usual my mam stayed strong and positive and we tried to keep things as normal as possible for her.On the 12th sept she was really ill and had to have a morphine pump, and couldnt keep anything down only cuppa soups and ice pops.
She started to sleep all the time on and off.
On the 14th she had to have oxigen and was sleeping more. We were with her all the time, talking to her and holding her hands. Sadly she passed away that night at 12.15 in the morning...
It was a HUGE shock to me and my family as we did not expect this horrible disease to take my beautiful young vibrant full of life mother so quickly. She was the most amazing mother anyone could wish for and my best friend in the whole world and I miss her more than words could say. It only took 2 months for this horrible disease to take her, we thought we would at least have one last Christmas with her....but it was not to be.

I cant tell you any specific signs to look for when it is close to the end, but once the pain gets bad and they are sleeping all the time I think that is an indication....well in my experience anyway.

Just try to stay as strong as possible for your mom and be with her as much as you can.
My thoughts and prayers are with you, your mom and family.
Tina, Dublin, Ireland.

Hi Jenny! My husband was misdiagnosed too. He was 46 when he was finally told he had pancreatic cancer and had 5 months to live. He fought the disease for 2 1/2 years. He had some pain but he said God wasn't ready for him and he wanted to live for me as we had only been married for 5 years. We had a wonderful 2 years. We traveled, he got to see 3 kids married and a grandbaby borned. He took chemo for 1 1/2 years and a clinical trial for 6 months. One day he told me that God was ready for him and that he wanted to make sure I was taken care of. He was going down hill but still had a great attitude. Actually when he died it happened real fast. On a Monday we got a hosptial bed for him and hospice came in. Tuesday and Wednesday he started constantly vomiting around the clock. He slept alot and was not talkative. Finally on Thursday, Oct. 13 at 1:00pm my husband lost his life to this dreadful disease. But, I thank God that he didn't have to lay there for any longer then that. Some people suffer bad with this awful disease. I didn't want to let him go but he fought for 2 1/2 years for me and I told him it was alright to let go. If I could have him back healthy I would in a minute but I know I will see him again someday. His oncologist told me that he had never seen anyone have the attitude and fight this disease the way my husband did. If you need to know anything else please feel free to email me. Sincerely, Ann F.

Hi Jenny,
I have just lost my 24 year old daughter a few months ago to colon cancer.There are signs that are there. Hospice has some things on this that help to notice these things. It helped us alot in knowing that, there are signs to watch for
when that time is drawing near. So that we could be right there with her. But really only God knows. But please check with what hospice has to offer on this topic. I'm so sorry for the pain you are feeling. I have walked your shoes. I will say a prayer for you and your family. Dana

This is the problem with Pancreatic Cancer. My father started off with problems in his back, it would hurt at night when he tried to sleep. He slept on the floor some trying to get comfortable. He went to a chiropatric, that did not work. Then after a few months he started having digestive problems, went to the doctor, then was referred to a gastro doctor this took 2 weeks to get an appointment, then he was sent for test running dye, then found a blockage, then set up for exploritary sugery, then they found pancreatic cancer. Text book says from the time you start having problems and are diagnoised 4-6 months have passed and then it is too late. 3 weeks after surgery started chemo, he was driving on a Sunday afternoon, fell alseep driving from all this and ran off the road went down an enbankment and was killed. Pancreatic is hard to diagnoise initally.

Ann -- was so sad to read about your husband. I feel so much for you. My husband turned 66 a month after he was dx'd with Pancreatic CA metasized to Liver. The physician won't give us any type "timeline", so we're playing it by yet. Financially, we're in a mess (he was working full time). How did you work and take care of him? If I quit work, I loose my insurance.

I am so sorry for your loss, but I must tell you that you seem to have a beautiful thought process about it.
I was wondering if there are any specific places you went to for information? I think my mom is toward the end, but I am trying to find resources. Thanks for any help you can give.

One thing that concerns me is have you gotten the pain under control -- with this type of cancer pain is an issue that needs to be taken care of.. Our mom dx in oct 04 with pancreatic has just recently been given a nerve block for pain and was placed on morphine patch. She does take morphine tabs for in between pain.. That has helped alot . She still doesn't eat well but supplements with scandia shakes and yogurt.. She does sleep alot / could be meds /disease process any or all..

My friend was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma of pancreatic biliary with mets to the liver. this was the 1st part of january. she is a 2x cancer survivor from malignant melanoma. last one being 6 years ago. her oncologist told her with new chemo treatments she could live a couple years. she is on procrit & also takes morphine with the breakthrough. do you think your mother thought she would beat this cancer? how long do you think it was before her quality of life was gone? did she just stop doing things? my friend is very high energy, lucid, etc. i hate to think of her in the situation your mother is at this time. there are circumstances of caregiver that i am concerned about-- we are in different states and i am not there with her. initially did you think your mother was going to get better? i wish i knew the answer for you. i have experienced many miracles in my life and i must be hoping for another. what a heartache for you . i am so sorry..