My Husband has lost hope.

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My Husband has lost hope.

by Lorraine42 on Wed Mar 03, 2010 11:13 PM

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Hi my husband is 73 and Im 67, he has PC and was removed successfully so they said in June of last year ,,he started Chemo in September and couldnt take the treatment because his blood count was too low. He had a Cat Scan and found to have spread to the liver. He wouldnt take anymore treatment because it was a harsh treatment and only less than 7% chance that it would work .Being only ever 130 lbs and 6 ft. he lost the 30 lbs last count and there isnt much left. The Pallitive Dr. told him he may have 2 months and asked my husband if he wanted to know the prognosis and I said I didnt but my husband did, and from that day on he started to die.He wants to stay home till the end and I dont know if I was prepared for the stress of it.He got a blood clot in the leg ,as he has vascular problems anyway with stents in both legs(in the groin) He has to have blood thinners injected into his belly for 3 months I guess till he dies , I have great home support and anything I need I can have , I have been trained to inject the needle in his belly , which I never dreamt I could do .Now I feel that comfort my husband feels having him home with me . I dont know when it comes to the hard part when he goes further and further in the last stages of cancer if I can keep him home , has anyone gone through this , if so what should I expect . Thank You

RE: My Husband has lost hope.

by maryelleng on Wed Mar 03, 2010 11:51 PM

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Dear Lorraine,

     I just found this site today, having some issues. However aside from issues I have been a nurse for many years, 5 of which I worked hospice. You mentioned you have home support, hospice or family? If not hospice please consider, as painful of a choice hospice may be. If you have them now please talk openly with your husbands nurse. She/he will guide you and family. You will not be alone with hospice, frequency of visits and the needed staff will be there as the disease dictates. Social workers, clergy, volunteers as well as nurses. May god bless you, your husband @ family during this terrible time. Hospice cannot take your pain but they will make sure you are not alone. My thoughts are with you and your husband.   Maryellen,Mass

RE: My Husband has lost hope.

by helgoland on Thu Mar 04, 2010 01:22 AM

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I am very sorry for both your husband, you and really your entire family.  I can only speak from our situation.  My mother was 76 years old and lived 4 months from diagnosis until her peaceful passing.   She stayed at home, no hospice and she left us with dignity and peace.  Not all people with pc have horrific painful deaths.  I hope that you make the 'best' out of a very difficult part of your lives.  Make each and every day a blessing for you both. Prayers for peace for you.

RE: My Husband has lost hope.

by Lorraine42 on Thu Mar 04, 2010 02:39 AM

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Thank you so much for the reply and information I guess its hospice I have as I have  a male nurse coming in from the beginning of his blood clot and assisted me in giving him an injection which he needs.  Right now he doesnt qualify for the "End of Life Care" which is 4 weeks left I believe and he isnt at that stage right now , but the blood clot needed  immediate attention so having PC and not taking any treatment and "Making him comfortable" was the stage he is in . He is very weak but can still get out of bed and go to the washroom himself and he wants to eat in the bedroom  all the time but I said not the evening meal which may consist of very little for him , I have to make him come outside to get him out of the bedroom,but when he get to that point where I need a hospital bed then all i have to do is call the "Community Health Service "for those who are staying at home.  Yes I do talk frankly with his nurse and I feel so comfortable with them and feel I can do this as they offered someone to come in even if its just to get a few groceries or get my hair done, its awesome. May God bless all those Hospice nurses , male and female they are so helpful , and thank you Maryellen for your prayers , I believe in prayer as Im an active Church member and my Minister comes to visit as well as we need this part of our life also.   Lorraine Canada

RE: My Husband has lost hope.

by Lorraine42 on Thu Mar 04, 2010 02:43 AM

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Thank you for your prayers , Im hoping against hope that his pain will not be as bad as most because he does have the primary tumor removed and it was a successful Whipple operation which will elliminate some of his suffering so the Cancer Doctor said. Lorraine /Canada

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