Daddy is in heaven now

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Daddy is in heaven now

by flfrog on Mon Mar 22, 2010 05:33 AM

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My wonderful father killed his GBM tumor on 3/20 after a 28 month battle and entered the gates of heaven.

It was a very long battle and he spent the last 5 months in a nursing home blind, unable to do anything and most of the time not knowing where he was or who was there.  It was HORRIBLE and I am so glad he is now free.

The end was not peaceful as he fought hard to stay here with me but he is at peace now and I am forever grateful for that as I did not want him to suffer a minute longer than necessary.  After he passed an indent developed where he had had his original tumor removed and his forhead became very hot and I said daddy your killing the tumor take that f$%ker and about made the nurse pass out but his friend who stayed with me for dad's passing cheered.

My mourning is just beginning and I am finding I am not only losing him now but I am also mouring who he was before the tumor and the future he will never have.  There are so many levels to how this disease impacts you and your loved one and moving forward from it is challening but it's only been 2 days so I'll keep working through it!

I am so sorry for all of you still fighting but I will say fight hard to keep your love ones a long time with a good quality of life but when the quality of life goes get under hospice and stop trying to keep them here in suffering so you have someone's hand to hold.  No one should have to live a second longer than necessary without dignity or enjoyment of life.

Take care and God bless you all!

flfrog

RE: Daddy is in heaven now

by ibelieve73 on Mon Mar 22, 2010 05:47 AM

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On Mar 22, 2010 5:33 AM flfrog wrote:

My wonderful father killed his GBM tumor on 3/20 after a 28 month battle and entered the gates of heaven.

It was a very long battle and he spent the last 5 months in a nursing home blind, unable to do anything and most of the time not knowing where he was or who was there.  It was HORRIBLE and I am so glad he is now free.

The end was not peaceful as he fought hard to stay here with me but he is at peace now and I am forever grateful for that as I did not want him to suffer a minute longer than necessary.  After he passed an indent developed where he had had his original tumor removed and his forhead became very hot and I said daddy your killing the tumor take that f$%ker and about made the nurse pass out but his friend who stayed with me for dad's passing cheered.

My mourning is just beginning and I am finding I am not only losing him now but I am also mouring who he was before the tumor and the future he will never have.  There are so many levels to how this disease impacts you and your loved one and moving forward from it is challening but it's only been 2 days so I'll keep working through it!

I am so sorry for all of you still fighting but I will say fight hard to keep your love ones a long time with a good quality of life but when the quality of life goes get under hospice and stop trying to keep them here in suffering so you have someone's hand to hold.  No one should have to live a second longer than necessary without dignity or enjoyment of life.

Take care and God bless you all!

flfrog

Hello. I am very sorry for your loss.  I am just beginning my fight with stage four metastatic ACC; and I am scared of many things.  Oddly, I am not afraid of death.  I felt guilt for awhile because if God allows me to stay here with my family then I am blessed, and if He calls me home I am also blessed.  So the guilt was because my heart of course wants to stay here and be with my family

God will support you and give you the strength you need to get through this horribly painful time.  I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

RE: Daddy is in heaven now

by constantsorrowm on Mon Mar 22, 2010 06:28 AM

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I'm sorry for your loss . There is so much I could say but I don't know where to begin . As a father I'll tell you it is comforting to leave children behind . No , we don't want to leave but in a selfish way we know part of us lives on in our children . So live well and be thankful and this will be a tribute of and to your Dad for others to see . Love is the greatest thing there is and we all see how you love your Dad . He's always with you . I wish you well , good health and peace . Sincerely CSM

RE: Daddy is in heaven now

by heart_and_soul on Mon Mar 22, 2010 12:52 PM

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Oh dearie, I am so sorry to hear about your Daddy. Wow, was that man loved. You and your husband did an absolutely fabulous job... all those days and nights. Thank you for showing and sharing with us what good family love looks like. I know he's at peace now. After you get through the shock and emotional exhaustion, I hope you'll feel his love and laughter with you always.
Love, Sarah

RE: Daddy is in heaven now

by saw10128 on Mon Mar 22, 2010 02:57 PM

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I'm so sorry to hear that your father has passed, but I know the relief you feel that he no longer has to suffer and you no longer need to live in fear.  That is the ONLY comforting thing about this whole process.

I read a lot of your posts, as there were many similarities to my father's decline and you can be so proud of yourself for being a wonderful daughter to him.  That is something you can cherish forever.  The hardest part is going to be looking past this ilness and truly remembering him for the man he was.  12 weeks after my father's death, I am still having a hard time forgetting the awful tumor and what it did to him.

Your father is so lucky to be at peace now and I love that he killed off that GBM in his last moments.  What a huge relief!

Take care of yourself

Stephanie

RE: Daddy is in heaven now

by thinkingofdad on Mon Mar 22, 2010 03:13 PM

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I think it is awesome that you didn't let the nurse stop you from claiming the final victory outloud against that horrible "f$%ker." You are an amazing person. I am so sorry you lost your father to this (as you stated perfectly :) "disease." Sounds like it took all the quality right out of his life, and he is rid of it now, and happy as an angel looking over you, rooting you on until you meet again.

You are an inspiration to us all, Much peace to you,

Tina J.

grantsnanny grantsnanny
(Inactive)

RE: Daddy is in heaven now

by grantsnanny on Mon Mar 22, 2010 03:30 PM

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So very, very sorry with the loss of your Dad.  We are in our 13th month of battle with this awful demon!  You are so right that "Dad" didn't have to take this beast with him into the beautiful city of love.  He left that monster behind!

We are all in this same fight and we know that unless God intervenes, and He certainly can, we will join you in the mourning of our loss as well.  God be with you and your family.

RE: Daddy is in heaven now

by Lizzy65 on Mon Mar 22, 2010 07:44 PM

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Wow, I love the way you put it about your father killing his gbm tumor!  I just lost my Mom to this monster a week ago today.  She was diagnosed in 11/09, had surgery 12/09 and lasted only a little over 3 months.  She didn't even get a chance to finish her chemo and rad.  I know she's at peace now, like your Dad.  I am not though.  It's only been a week though.  I am ok one minute and want to kick someone's teeth in the next.  I guess that's normal?!  I can't listen to the radio.  I am trying really hard to be patient.  I have an 8 year old child who went thru this whole thing with me and my family.  He needs me now and I know that, and I also know that's what my Mom would tell me to do.  Take care of my family.  It's not easy. 

I am so sorry for the loss of your father.  Please know, if it's any comfort at all, that you are not alone.  Do you have a big family?  Children?  Lean on them if you can.

I just got back from the local food store.  While in the meat dept. I saw a leg of lamb and got really mad.  My Mom was going to make a leg of lamb and have me and my family over for dinner.  She never got to do that.  It sounds silly, but I think aboaut stuff like that.  Also, what about all her belongings?  I can't even imagine going thru everything.  I am in NO WAY ready to do that, but I'm afraid a lot of my other siblings want to sooner than later.  I'm rambling now.  Sorry.  Back to you.

Here's my new favorite quote...It calms me down...

"What is lovely never dies, but passes into other loveliness"~~Thomas Baily Aldrich

I wish you peace, love and comfort at this most difficult time. You're not alone.  You sound like a wonderful daughter!  I'm sure he's smiling down and will guide you thru this trying time....

Beth

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