Do I Tell My Sister That She Is Dying?

January 2006 my sister was diagnosed with Kidney cancer and after getting so many opinions from different Philippines doctors we were told that they won't be able to save my sister. We decided not to tell her of her situation since she has no kid and she was not feeling the pain at that time. After one month she started to wonder why she is not getting better, so all of her sisters and brothers decided to tell her about the cancer, however, the husband refuses to tell her. Nowadays, my sister could not eat,swelling and vomitting anything she put in her mouth and getting weaker every day but the brain still alert. It is advisable not to tell her that she has cancer? Will it really make her weaker if we tell her? How about the pain medicine should we start giving it to her now? Please advise

Thank you.
Nenita

Nenita
There is no cancer that someone has not recovered from. I was told that there was no cure for my cancer and now I am in remission. Get a copy of Fighting Cancer or read it on line it is a great book and a guide for cancer recovery. Robert Bloch was given three weeks to live and he lived over 20 years and died of heart failure. Your sister should read this book. She should have the opportunity to fight her cancer with every thing available, but she has to try and believe that she can be cured you can have them send you a free copy. The website is: http://www.blochcancer.org/fighting/fightcan.html

You can select any chapter from the top of the screen. You can print out the entire book or get a free copy sent to you. If you would like to know about other things that I did let me know.
Ernie

First, email the Kidney Cancer Association at office@curekidneycancer.org, and ask for the free Incidental Finding book (include your name, postal address and telephone number (in case they have a question). They will send it anywhere in the world.

You may also want to join the KIDNEY-ONC email support list specific to kidney cancer. See http://cancerguide.org/kofaq/ .

Both of these will give you information on treatments that might be available for your sister. If it is true that your sister's cancer is too far advanced for treatment, whether or not you tell her about her illness is something you probably know already. I am sure that she realizes that she has a serious medical problem, even if she doesn't know what it is. Personally, I would want to know, but I know not everyone feels that way. If you do not tell her, you will be setting up an emotional wall between you, and your will not be able to ask her how you can help her do the things she might want to do while she is alive.

Thank you for your advise. Unfortunately, my sister passed away this weekend. I wish I have known all the options out there sooner. My regret is that I wish I did not listen to Doctors and went ahead with the surgery. The cancer spread so fast and no time to save her.



Thank you.

Nenita,

I am so sorry. Please do not blame yourself. If you have reached this message board, you did everything you could have for your sister.

May your grief be short.

from a sister of a kidney cancer patient