Father Died Of Cancer

Hi. My father passed away of cancer on february 12-2006. He was diagnosed with gastric cancer that metastazed to liver and mesenteric on august 12-2005. Got that? My brother and i were told that he had 6 to 12 months if he went for chemo. He lived exactly 2 months after diagnosis. During that time i was searching for information and thanks God i found this site. I did become a member, but every day I went online to read about people that were on my same situation. That help a lot. I was not alone. Now i feel that i have an obligation help others with my experience. My father was 82 years old. Passed away almost 3 weeks of his birthday. Old Man? He was and is my father and it hurts when people say he was old like i should not feel the way i feel. My father had cancer of his stomch stage 4. But he died because of his liver cancer. At the end he had liver and kidneys failure. My father did not had any symptoms . However on 11-2004 he fell and broke a rib on right side. His chest xray show opacification at the apice of his right lung also his blood work showed his lipase and amylse were high. He was instructed to repeat the blood test and to have a pelvis ct scan on 11-10-2004. My hated to go to doctors. he did not go. There was not way, my brother and i tried our best but he said no. From that day on i did not have a normal life. I had in my mind and heart that something was going to happened to my father. He did not live with me so I asked him if he felt sick or something abnormal please let me know. He never complaint of anything. By march 2005, he started have litle indegestion after eating. He refused to go to a doctor and started to used baking soda to treat this problem. Around may 2005 he went to the doctor. no tests, doctor gave him nexium. He felt better and stopped medication. went to normal. Indigestion came back. This time he had back pain. Sometimes he complaint of pain in his calves and fatigue. Then he started to lose weight. we insisted that he needed to see a doctor. He went to a gastroenterogist who sent him to have an abdominal sonogram. My father had it on 11-10-2005. got it? My newphew went with him and he told me that there was something very wrong. So next day on 11-11-2005 my father fell while taking his shower. I had to go to his house from work because he refused to go to emergency without me. When i got there, he still said he was not going. So i went to his doctor to let him know about that and to find out about my father results from sonogram. That was 11-11-2005. Doctor told me: "your father has stomach cancer with metatastic liver cancer possible with gallblader involment. I can tell you this without the need of further testing, so he must go to the hospital righ now. My god! I was devastated. We made him go to the hospital emergency room. I did bring a copy of his results and he was admitted for further testing. On 11-12-05 I was told again after a mri? that he had cancer but they needed to do more testing. On 11-18-05 He had palliative surgery. Gastric bypass so he could eat. He had a gastric outlet obstruction. He was discharge from hospital on 11-25-05. with a hospice service at my house. I took him home with me. He did so well after surgery that he was released from hospice service. He did not have fever on day, normal blood pressure,temperature. no nausea or vomiting. Plus he kept repeating that he had not cancer, he felt fine and did not need a nurse or home attendant to assist him. 12-03-2005. We went for stapples removal and surgeon said my father look pretty good and he want my father to go for chemo as soon as possible. We went to oncologist on 12-11-05. My father did not like the idea of chemo, however, he said he was going to started after christmas. He told the doctor: "I want to spend christmas a New Year with my family" . Appt. given for 01-03-06. My father was more or less normal. Let me tell you that he did not take even on painkiller after he was discharged from hospital. He went my brother and daughter to the market to by what it was need it to have a big dinner. Same for new year. January second and third he did not look well, However he did not complaint of pain. He said he was fatigued. I noticed his urine was too dark and i told the nurse she said he needed to drink more water. At that point my father said he was not going for chemo. we were reading about diet and cancer cure. At this time my father still was saying that doctors made a mistake, he was going to prove that doctors were wrong. Fahter insisted that he had not cancer and i had not courage to tell him yes you do have terminal cancer. At the same time i was myself thinking that i was going to cure him with diet and juicing. On 01-04-06 around 11 at night my father went to bathroom to get ready to go to bed, and when he came out he complaint of pain by his right abdominal side. We tried everything, nothing helped. I offered him a vicodin and he accepted. At that moment i got very scared. He was really in pain to take one pill. Next day pain conttinue and in morning i called the ambulance. This was a different hospital, so did bring some copies of his diagnosis with us.that was 01-05-06. He was admitted. Following day they told me he had a biliary obstruction and cancer spread to his pancreas. They were going to do whipple?surgery but could not do it, OR was full. Doctors said no to worry. That was 01-06-06. My father was in a lot of pain and very very jaundiced. Pain was controled with morphine. Weekend, he was sleeping most of the time. On saturday he told me he was staying at the hospital because i was losing a lot of weight and he did not me to get sick. I realized he meant hospice but he still was playing that he did not have cancer. I played my part and i assure him that it was fine with me if that will make him comfortable. On sunday afternoon 01-8-06 he started to see relatives that were dead. He told me he was going home. I asked him Home? meaning my own home but i did not ask him which home because i was afraid that he was going to think that i was not happy that he changed his mind. Monday 01-09-06. delay with surgery. Miscommunication with nurses and radioly departmen? Surgery cancelled! Afternoon, doctor said to us liver and kidneys started to fail, surgery was useless but it could be done if we wanted. But he was added: "The best gift that you can give to your father is let him die". I was numb. I answered: "Let me wait for my brother i cannot make that decision by myself" even though i was the health care proxy. When my brother came he said he agree with the doctor. 01-10-06 Started to make arrangement to transfer him to hospice. Afternoon, his glucose dropped to 12. Tranfered cancelled. 01-11-06. around mid-day he was transfered to hospice. he was awaked but "confused". he was given more morphine and did not wake up. he was moaning but the hospice nurse told me it was not from pain. The whole family and relatives were there. my brother and i were talking to him, holding him. Teliing him how much we love him, and giving him permission to go with God or the angels of Gods or one of his relatives or his mother. I laid in bed with him, kissed him,hold him in my arms. Later on my brother left to make arrangment time off from work. 01-12-06. Around 7am my brother returned. Doctor came to check on my father. I told my brother i was going home to take a shower and go to the funeral home. My brother said no go home and rest first. I went home to funeral home but i was una ble to rest. Around 3pm called taxi to come back to hospice. on my way there, they called my house to tell me that i had to go there as soon as possible. I did not know that according to them my father was almost passing. When i got there my brother told me. His breathing was very irregular and the smell was like raw liver.(do not get me wrong, it did not bother me). I went to his side and hold his hand, told him that i came back that i went home to rest. I noticed his was all sweet. dried him. Then two tears came out his eyes. I dried them and i told him i was going to be fine. gave him permission to leave.told him he was the best father of the whole world. He squeezed my hand. I did bring some christians cds of steve Green and i told my brother it was time to playing them. on the third cd by the third himm my father passed away. He died in my arms while i was singing those beatiful and spiritual himms. My point is it does not matter what doctors or what diagnosis is Lord had the last word. I understand that prevention is very important since i am a health educator but the Lord has a plan for everything and everybody. My father did not have major symptoms and when he started to lose weight i felt something bad was going to happens. Since did not live with my father i was worry that someday i was going to be called that he was death. I was not raised by my father, i did not live with him but he had a strong influence in my live. He was always there for me, gave an education i mean, there are not words to express everething. I will never stop thanking my Lord for the chance he gave me to be with my father, take care of him on his last days. This is the reason why i am writing at this moment. Telling you out there day by day with dates. God had a plan. My father went for his sonogram on 11-10-05. Doctor said cancer. This was exactly one year when he had appt. for ct scan 11-10-04. I am sure now that at that time doctor would had told us he had cancer. But gastric adenocarcinoma is very agressive and knowing my fahter very well, that would have meant a lot of suffering for him. Not quality of live. He lived two months! I still can not believe that he is gone. But in spirit he will always going to live with me. Please do not get me wrong. Prevention is best. If there is a chance go for it fight! But when there is nothing that can be done just accept things the way God decided. Respet your love one wishes. Regardless of the situation spirituality always help. IT IS NOT EASY TO LET YOUR LOVED ONE GO! I am grieving my father, it hurts so much but at least he is not suffering. God had Mercy! Listening or reading about other people'story i can see that even touhg it look like my father had cancer all around his abdominal cavity, he did not suffer a lot compare to other having less compromised cancer. TO GOD BE THE GLORY! To all the people out there that are going through this painfull time my prayers and concerns are with you. You are not alone. God is with you. He will give the strengh, the courage and th patience. He will not give more that you can not endure. Pray! Pray! You can write me if you think that i can help ain any way. God bless yuo all

My father also recently passed away with the same cancer on March 6, 2006 and I still can't believe what has happened.
Like everyone else I would not have thought that someone close to me would ever pass away with cancer. I still have not grasped what has happened even though time has passed and don't know when I will realize what has occured.
Everything happened so fast, I remember when my father was first diagnosed after some stomach pains he was having. Then he went to the docter and found out that he some ulcers and like a week later after testing they found out that he had terminal cancer. The docter said he was suppose to live for 3 to 6 months, but didn't even survive that...After about 3 weeks my father had problems eating and after long consideration had a gastric bypass surgery so that he would at least be able to eat until he passed. Unfortuntely he did not get the chance, everything went very well at first, but after a day later he was having extremly bad pains and didn't want anything to drink. Later on that day it got worse I didn't know what to do or ask of the hospital. I felt hopeless that I couldn't help my father... The nurse kept on saying the pain was from the surgery, but later early that morning the docter took a look at him and told him that other parts of his body were failing and that he would pass very soon. Once I was told that I contacted my older sisters who went out of town really quickly to make planning arrangements to go on vacation with my father. Because the operation for gastric bypass went so well, we all thought that he would live longer, including the docter... My sisters came back a couple hours later and I couldn't believe what was happening and then later that morning my father passed, while we were all watching...
At first, I tried to ignore what happened and give good reasons why something like this would happen....such as it was God's will and his plan, which I still believe, but I didn't want to grieve my Father's death...If I was to grieve I would have to deal with the fact that my Father truly died and I couldn't accept that...I still don't fully accept because I keep living my life as if nothing occured. At night I realize what has happened, but only for a short while and then I go on thinking everything will be like they were one day..or at least ignore it and go on about my business...
I have 2 strong sisters and my mother to rely on, but I can't seem to talk about how I feel with the situation...I am just waiting things out till I stop thinking about them, which I know is bad, but I don't know any other way to deal with it. I just can't believe what has happened because there was suppose to be so much more...I don't blame God, but I wish in someway that I would have known...I am sure like most others........
If you have any advise or guidance I would truly appreciate it...

I just went through the same thing with my dad. My dad was 60. He went from being the normal dad to being dead 4 weeks later. He started getting really tired,having no want to eat,being white as a sheet,pale stool and dark urine, and shortness of breath. Took him to the doctor and they found pneumonia. Sent him home. 4 days later we took him to emergency because he was getting worse. They admitted him and founf 2 big masses in his liver and other small ones in his lungs. Sent him home 3 days later with oxygen. # days later we had to take him back because he was worse than ever. They put him in the cancer ward. Oncologist told him the results of the biopsy which were poor. Too weak for chemo, he decided against further treatment. 2 days later he came home after hospice set up their stuff. He was talking and laughing with his co-workers and helpers. But he had quit making urine and had no stool. He went in a coma about 7:00 that night and died right at 5:30 the next afternoon. It took him fast but maybe that was better than suffering for a long time. His new house is about half built. This hurts a lot that he was taken away when this was going on. I cant explain it either because it still doesnt seem real. I do feel like my sister and I an the rest of the family just got to say good-bye and that was it.