I was diagnosed with non-hodgkins Lymphoma in February of 2005 -- a litttle over a year ago. Have had two series of Rituxin treatments. The last was in January of this year. The pain I have had is nearly unbearable since they were administered.
Right now I am going through a really rough time with a lot of pain 24/7. The cold and dampness seems to make it worse. I am trying to continue life in a normal way, but it is getting harder and harder all of the time. It is 4:00 AM and I am up because I am waiting for my pain pill to kick in so I can go back to sleep. I just was given pain patches yesterday, but haven't started them. They are supposed to give 24 hour relief, unlike the pills that must be taken every four hours. I have actually thought of suicide during the lowest times, but doubt that I would ever do such a thing.
If anyone has any experience with the pain patches, I would appreciate some insight. I am a little afraid to get them started as I don't know how strongly they will affect me, and I DO have to continue with my working. Luckily I am a freelance writer and can work at my home computer, not go to an office, which is very good, but if my brain gets too fuzzy, that too will end as much of my life has since the cancer was found. I am very frightened and cry at night sometimes when my husband is not awake to hear. He has little compassion. I thank all of the people on Cancer Compass for the help I have received -- the emotional toll of this ugly disease is tremendous. Thanks for any advice you can give me.