Loss Of My Dad

My father ended his journey here last Monday. It was gentle and painless. His last MRI showed no significant growth however his energy levels were on a steady decline over the last month and his breathing had been becoming strained. He was able to stay mentally sharp til the end. He didn't speak much in the last weeks but as we would sit there with friends he would asked pointed questions and laughed and enjoyed company. All along he told us he was in no pain.. and we asked all the time. His determination to fight and to hold on to life was so strong. He was positive and charming to most everyone who walked in the door and only to us showed his vulnerability.

I want to thank all of you for all of your guidance and kindness. words cannot describe how much comfort it gave me to know we were not the only people going through this. I found so much information on here that our doctors and oncologist never mentioned until I asked. I know that my father received better care because of all of you. I appreciate all of your support, also lifting my spirits and making me laugh! If there is anything I can help any of you with in end stage please let me know. I was my parents secretary so I did lots of investigation into navigating the healthcare system and applying for medicaid etc. I also intend to stay involved in GBM and will be working with Musella Foundation to get more funding to research and awareness to help us all. If anyone is interested I will post on braintumor.org under ChristineL.


Be well, stay strong and God Bless,
Christine

Dear Christine, I'm so sorry to hear about your dad. How blessed he was to have such a caring daughter. And I'm glad that his end was peaceful. Please stay in touch with us and take care of yourself. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

Fondly,
Patty

Hello dear, I am so sorry to hear about your father's passing. At least he didn't suffer a lot it sounds like. My father passed away more than 20 years ago -- Christmas Eve -- from lung cancer. He was a heavy smoker since the age of fourteen. I still miss him, but know that he led a good life and he knew that he was loved. Sounds like your father knew that he was as well. I am battling incurable Non-Hodgkins Lymphoma now myself. Had my second series of Rituxin treatments in January and am scheduled in a couple of weeks for a Petscan to see what it did. I have had a lot of pain, and have been given both pain patches and pills. With them at least I can still have a semi-normal life. I am a writer and artist, and it is hard not to have all of my wits about me, but I still CAN work -- just slower. I found out today that a good friend of mine, who has been battling multiple cancers for several years, including bowel, brain, and lung cancers, is losing her battle. She has had several surgeries. The brain tumors are multiplying rapidly despite radiation and chemo. She is unable to speak now and her sight is getting weak. Her husband has to carry her to the bathroom. It is tough for all who know and love her -- but much tougher on her. She has been a fighter throughout all of this. Many of us just can't hardly believe that it is winning. What a terrible disease this is! when are we going to cure it and end all of this heartache? For any who are involved with prayer chains, her name is Tally Wade and she lives in Northern California. Please keep her and her family in your prayers. Thanks, and keep your chin up Christine! Thanks for the work you continue to do.

Christine,

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. I am sure that he is at peace and now it is time for you and your family to take care of yourselves.

Cherish your memories and know that he will always be a part of you.

I, too, have found these message boards a source of information and strength as we deal with this disease.

It is wonderful that you will be doing something to help in this battle against brain tumors.

Hugs and prayers,

Karen

Christine: I don't believe I've ever posted or really even viewed much on this message board. However, your subject line caught my eye as I feel as though I'm loosing my father as well.

From what I've read, I've gathered your father had brain cancer? I'm so sorry - that's one of the scariest ones as my mother had it when I was 12 (I'm 35 now) - luckily she survived it for 23 years and just passed this past December (from Lymphoma).

I can see that you and I kindof "mirror" eachother in that I am my dad's advocate too...I'm constantly surfing the net trying to find new drugs, treatments, etc. (my dad has Acute Myelogenous Leukemia (AML). He was diagnosed in May 2005 and has been involved in 3 different clinical trials and this last cycle of chemo has really done a number on him. He's just fed-up and rightfully so.

You described that your father's energy level had started decreasing and his breathing started becoming more labored (same with my dad). Can I ask you, how does it feel/how are you coping? I know it's an odd question...but I'm a "daddy's girl" and have been really struggling with the thought of loosing him. The more I learn about Heaven and study the bible/pray to God...the more at ease I am with the inevitable. Did ya'all have to get hospice care? Another thing that is scary for me, as we had to get hospice for my mother and I don't want that for my dad as I want him to have his dignity and sense of some sort of independence (if that makes any sense). I know I'm rambling...I'd just love to hear from you on any advice you might have. Meanwhile, I'll keep you and your family in my prayers. Hang in there and God bless. -Shelby

Dear Christine,
I am so sorry to hear that you have lost your Dad. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family.

I am thankful to hear that your dad was free of pain and that the last phases of his journey were peaceful. He was surrounded by love throughout his life and during his death. What a special gift you gave him, Christine.

As a caring daughter myself, I fear losing my dad to this devastating tumor. I also worry about his loss of bodily functions. He has always prided himself on being independent and "in control." Throughout surgical resection, rehabilitation, radiation treatments, and chemotherapy, my dad has been so courageous and strong-willed.

I know that you walked each step of this journey with your dad since his diagnosis. What a blessing you are. I am trying to do the same with my dad and my mom. I truly admire your courage, Christine. It is hard to be strong and courageous when the most important man in your life is faced with such a devastating tumor.

Thank you, Christine. Blessings to you.
Take care of yourself,
Rondi

Chriatine:

I don't want to say just words to you that mean nothing. I hope that you know you will see your Dad in Glory one day and that his life is eternal.

I am sorry for your hurt and how your family must endure the loss of his presence with you. I pray each day will get better and the sadness will turn to joy at the memory of the father you love so much.

My mom has a brain tumor. We are going through a lot with her right now. It is physically hard on me because I have cancer, but I will not stop loving her and hoping for her.


Please know I am praying for you and hoping for your future to be bright and full of love.

Winkle