I was reading about resistance to change. About 65% of people respond to bad news by resisting new information. Apparently there is some evidence that most, if not all, of the stages that are usually part of the grief process also seem to occur when people are asked to respond to any kind of new information, especially any which makes them feel they may have to change the way they view the world.
So this means any kind of change, anything "different" than what most know or think they already know, even any change with the potential to offer improvement or greater survival odds, even one for which these demographic really has nothing to lose by trying, may still pose too much of a threat to their world view. And so the fact of any change, good, bad, or simply strange or new, which is the one thing over which we really have no control, may well be met with the five stages of Denial, Anger, Negotiation, Depression, Acceptance - or a combination of some if not all of the above.
This may apply to ANY change, terminal illness, catastrophic personal loss, change of job or income, loss or even gain of freedom, as well as significant life events such as the death of a loved one, news of infertility, divorce, realization of drug addiction, news of critical illness, disillusionment with conventional medicine, or many other tragedies or disasters.
STAGE ONE: DENIAL: Usually, there is emotional resistance or denial:
Either "I (or my loved one or friend) feel fine" or "This cannot be happening to me" or "Everyone I know or ever heard of uses this same kind of treatment so it must be the right one and I think it is the only way to go"
STAGE TWO: ANGER: "How CAN this be happening to ME?" "Why me?" "It's not fair." "Who is to blame?" "Why do other people think that whatever else they tried, stuff that they claim worked, makes them so right anyway?""Who do they think they are to tell me that what I am doing may be either useless or harmful, especially when so many people have used it?"
Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial of change cannot continue. Because of the emerging anger which now replaces the denial, the person can become difficult to approach or support or care for due to misplaced feelings of rage or envy.
Any individual that seems to symbolize life or energy, including anyone who may have extend an offer of support, answers, wisdom, (even a cancer survivor, for instance) is now subject to projected resentment and jealousy
STAGE THREE: BARGAINING: "Just let me/he/she live to see my/our children graduate."; "I'll do absolutely anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..." .
The third stage of resistance to change involves the hope that one can somehow postpone or buy the delay of what one now sees as approaching death. Usually, but not always, there may be attempt to negotiate for extension of life by the endorsement of the status quo. This deal making may be attempted with either a doctor and/or a higher power, in exchange for the promise of a reformed lifestyle.
Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I/he/she may or will likely die, but look how I am doing everything I am supposed to do now. I may not be about to change anything about what I happen to know, but I am going to continue to use the comfort of approved familiar treatments. Look how I am being co-operative and compliant. So if I could just arrange to have a bit more time, please?"
STAGE FOUR: DEPRESSION: "I'm so sad"; "This is not working"; "Why bother with anything?"; "I/he/she is obviously going to die anyway... What's the point?"; "Everyone dies of cancer, so why did I think I/he/she would be any different?"; "I already miss my loved one and they are still here"; "Why go on?"
During the fourth stage, the person often lets go of any idea of being a proactive advocate for their loved one or themselves and begins to shift perspective to accept a belief in the non negotiable certainty of death.
Because of this, the individual may become silent, may refuse visitors, reject help, scorn support, refuse or ignore advice, and may instead spend much of the time crying and grieving.
There will often emerge an air of RESIGNATION which now settles around the person. This process sometimes allows the person to decide to accept their own belief that there are no alternatives. At this stage they may (or may not) resign themselves to dying or losing someone who is dying. This in turn gives them permission to begin to disconnect from things concerned with love and affection. In some cases, even if they are faced with evidence of hope or improvement in other cases, this person has now decided to conform with what they now see as immutable fate.
At this point, unless depression somehow becomes converted into an action plan or serves to transform the person's world view strongly enough that they may now consider other choices, (perhaps some untried and formerly intolerable or threatening or different path). However, if depression and resignation take hold, it is not recommended to attempt to help, or cheer up, or advise such an individual who is in this stage, not unless they themselves solicit it.
Due to the little understood power of the mind to determine one's own fate, the power to either accept, resist, or revisit the option of change, OR due to the mind's potential to begin to now see change for the worse as inevitable, the reality is that those who resist new information will now deem it necessary to accept the status quo of inevitable death.
This decision then becomes an important time for beginning grieving in advance of a death, which must first be processed.
STAGE FIVE: ACCEPTANCE: "Loss going to be okay."; "I can't fight it" "There are no magical cures, no silver bullets, no nutritional answers. Otherwise, everyone would be using them and no one would be dying, right?"; "I may as well prepare for what I cannot do anything about."; "The cost was worth it because it bought me/he/she a bit of time"
In this last stage, the individual has accepted the fate they may have found themselves unable to negotiate.
They may have unwittingly chosen the path they are now on, sometimes by default.
At this stage 65% usually will decide that fighting is of no use. They may have concluded that untried methods are either useless or scams.
Or they may now realize that even conventional methods to reverse decline may have ultimately cost them the game, to no avail.
They may feel that having chosen the mainstream route may have bought them increased quality of life.
In short, they may or may not think the choices they have either have made or have not made have offered them a lot, a little, or sometimes no extra time worth having.
They may decide that the path chosen may have made things worse, may have sealed fate, may have caused needless suffering, or may have only served to speed the decline to death.
This is often the first of the stages which tends to sort those now willing to risk the unknown. Sometimes, due to timing, this becomes a case of too little too late. Some will now diverge from others unwilling to let go of the conventional paradigm to the bitter end.
At this point those who see that whatever they chose is not working may now begin to accept as fate and come to terms with their belief in either their own mortality or that of their loved. one.
Of course, these steps do not necessarily come in the order noted above. Nor are all steps experienced by all people.
The hypothesis is that most persons will experience at least two of these stages. Often, people will experience several stages in quick succession, in a "roller coaster" effect, switching back and forth between two or more stages, returning to one stage or more several times before working through it.