Let me first introduce you to Rhoda Ostomy. Rhoda is my colostomy she got her name from the Mary Tyler Moore show, you know the obnoxious best friend that lived in the same apartment building. Well the name fits her perfect, my Rhoda is obnoxious, she is loud and demanding and well it's time the bit** die. Okay she did save my life but ever since then she has been a pain in my ass. She talks out her butt, she is always full of shi* and she is super demanding. When I try to shut her up well she seeks revenge , I will change her bag and before I can get her changed she starts talking shi* again. Can't take her anywhere, we go to the movie theatre and in the most quiet part of the movie she starts with her loud obnoxious noises again, I think she has terrecks or something, the poor thing can't control being obnoxious and loud, and I always get blamed for her behavior. She also doesn't help out on the romance department , always has to act up and spoil the moment , it is almost like being a conjoined twin. Just want a few minutes alone without her being at my side continueously. Well I decided it is time to get rid of Rhoda. I researched and found the perfect hitman, Dr. Kasier at USC Norris Cancer Hospital, and he has agreed to take down Rhoda and snuff her out permanently. After 2 1/2 years being conjoined with Rhoda it is time to separate us both and give me my life back. Her take down will be late October, and the memorial will be Thanksgiving evening, what better day than Thanksgiving , to give thanks of the life she had and to celebrate her passing. Each guest will receive one of Rhoda's bags, empty of course and they can attach a little note of their memory of Rhoda. I have designed a make shift coffin, decorated and all, and each guest will distribute their contribution in her box and we will perform a little ritual, a burning of Rhoda and do a little happy dance. Ding Dong the witch is dead will be playing in the background as we say good bye to Rhoda Ostomy forever, and pray she doesn't come back and haunt me for years to come and no reincarnations allowed. So, if you are up to a celebration all are invited!!! Thought we could all use a little humor , it gets us through the hard times and reminds us we do have a purpose in this life!
Sheryl:)