I have stage IV kidney cancer. Initially, there is shock and a feeling of helplessness, however, take control and ask questions...get on internet and look up all you can and learn all you can about kidney cancer....Make sure your doctor answers all questions, is honest and is willing to help you. Where there is life there is always hope...Some people have survived the later stages of kidney cancer. I think if they can, so can I and your husband!
Never give up...I would also consider nutrition changes, etc...see a homeopathic doctor or alternative doctor to assist along with other treatments.
Hang in there...talk to friends, peers and of course seek counseling to get you through...think positive...meditate, take care of the spiritual very important.
Keep positive thoughts...keep stress levels low...do enjoyable things and above all try to laugh...stay away from the news and sad movies..unless you need a good cry.
I watch programs that i enjoy...use computer a lot for enjoyment and of course, get some exercise, if you can...important to keep those endorphins alive...get and give lots of hugs...believe it or not these will all help you survive...POSITVE POSITIVE THOUGHTS..I am recently diagnosed too, had left kidney removed and I have mets to my lung, and esophagus (minor), some lymph involvement...it is a slow growing cancer and keep up with treatments and keep trying until there is nothing and even then don't give up until then...keep a journal, draw, doodle - helps with therapy.
Talk honestly, openly with each other and family, friends...get as much suppport as you possibly can and of course prayers are essential, if you believe...if not spiritual enhancement is strongly encouraged.
I have tried interleukin-2 with thalidomide and has so far kept it from spreading but have to continue to hopefully go into some kind of remission or to extend my life...I don't intend to give up until I absolutely have to and then...I will be at peace knowing I gave it my best shot. I am only 52 and am too young to die...have kids and 4 yr old grandson I want to be around for, as well as a wonderful husband..so my only suggestion is to fight and fight hard!