Hi Irisgirl105
I had 10 rounds of Folfox in 2008 and 8 rounds of Folfiri in 2009 .My tumor that mets to lung had shunk to the point that surgery was possible. At one time last Nov, 2009, my PET scan was clear without tumor. but 3 months later found a big tumor 8x 6 cm at adrenal glend. Onc said may be due to change of DNA of CC, cancer cells became aggressive. Now I was found more spots at abdomen. ONC put me on FOLFOXIRI. That is Irinotecan + Oxaliplatin + 400 mg Erbitux + Folinic acid + 4830 mg of 5 FU ( carried pump for 72 hrs). There are also lots of pre med to control vomit and diarrhea, alltogether 8 hrs hook on IV. It has to be taken every other week and Erbitux every week. Doc said this is the last line of chemo drug to control CC mets.
It was very very rough. Even with all pre meds and pills to control vomit and loose stool, I still have it all the times. I feel so weak and depress. My white bood cells drop to 2. I hate it. I have to take Neulastin shot to myself. But after that I felt like someone squeeing my neck and spine, like forcing them to produce more white blood cells/stem cells. It hurts.
Sometimes I pray to my Lord if you have to take me home , take me then. I cannot play the game anymore. one day told me I am cancer free, next day found me to have mets to here and there. Now I am pouring toxic to my system that worst than Drano/toilet cleaner. I am very tired and mad of myself.
I have a nice job, loving family and a good husband. I should not leave them behind, but the thought of quit, stop chemo , just take alternative treatment fill up my mind. Should I stop????