final stage of stomach cancer

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final stage of stomach cancer

by pickshanty on Thu Dec 02, 2010 01:58 AM

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Can anyone let me know what to expect with the last stages stomach cancer please,my best friend is 57 and has now stopped chemo and will be in gods hands now but i need to know what to expect...thank you and god bless all of you

RE: final stage of stomach cancer

by djm3452004 on Tue Dec 14, 2010 03:29 AM

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On Dec 02, 2010 1:58 AM pickshanty wrote:

Can anyone let me know what to expect with the last stages stomach cancer please,my best friend is 57 and has now stopped chemo and will be in gods hands now but i need to know what to expect...thank you and god bless all of you

I am very sorry to hear about your friend's cancer, and wanted to comment on your question.  I lost my Dad a month and a half ago to stomach cancer at the age of 60, and felt the need to talk.

My Dad underwent both chemo and radiation treatments earler this year in preparation for surgery to remove what would have amounted to most or all of his stomach.  Scans prior to the surgery were very positive, but the surgery showed different; the cancer had progressed and spread to his bowel and likely elsewhere in his abdomen.  He had been on liquid food for since March of this year, and on a feeding tube for most of that time.

After the awful news from the surgery, Dad came home in preparation for hospice care.  Though Dad and I hadn't been on the best terms for several years, I came home two days after he got home from the hospital to help my Mom as best I could.  Dad was on Morphine-Sulphate and Ativan, an anti-anxiety drug, and had to be given doses every four hours.  He was very lucid and we were able to talk a little while every day, though progressively less and less.  Hospice came every day and dressed his feeding tube entrance and I was thankful to be able to help.  He was not able to get up to use the commode himself, and we used large adult disposable "briefs".  Hospice also helped clean him every day and explained to us what to expect.

About a week after I came home, Dad's body began to reject the tube feedings, and the doctors recommended we end them a day or so later so as not to cause him more discomfort as his abdomen was very bloated from the spreading tumor.

Two days after we ended the feedings, he asked me alone if he was going to get another feeding.  I felt like I was lying to him, bumbling some answer about the doctors trying to relieve some of the pressure in his abdomen so not yet.  He knew what I was saying even though I didn't say it, and was so quietly accepting of it I left the room and started bawling.

He was still drinking some water, but that began to slow down as well.  It didn't take too long after that.  He was on hospice a little over two weeks before he past away, early in the morning on Nov. 7th.  I still can't believe he's gone.  I've tried to console myself with the fact that he was in no pain and merciful it happened so quickly, but regardless of my rocky relationship with him, I miss him every day.  Certain songs, words or sounds remind me of him all the time.  I guess I never imagined that I would lose my father at 28.

Your presence alone will mean more to your friend than anything else, and understand they will be frustrated they cannot do the simplest of things.  Just smile as best as you can, help them and hold their hand.  Just being there matters the most.

I don't know if this helps you at all, and I hope it doesn't sound too detached.  This is the first time I've written any of this down.  Maybe this will help me deal with my own feelings.

Dave

Radford, VA

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

RE: final stage of stomach cancer

by Sirleapin on Thu Dec 16, 2010 02:25 AM

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My heart sank when I read your question about the final stages of stomach cancer. I lost my dad in June from stomach cancer much like Dave my dad’s prognosis was good considering all things involved. Age, health and family history and the pet scans just showed cancer on the lower portion of the esophagus and upper stomach.

The original plan was to remove the cancerous portions attach the stomach to esophagus and create a pouch for the new stomach. Unfortunately when they got in there the cancer had spread to the spleen, liver, pancreas & 29 of the lymph nodes. They removed the whole stomach, spleen, lymph nodes & parts of the liver & pancreas.

Dad never really recovered following surgery he had a 3 week stay in the hospital before he was able to come home early May and over the next 8 weeks his longest stay home was 6 days with the last 35 days in the hospital living off TPN.

His final wish was to die at home so they arranged for hospice and sent him home on a Monday afternoon. My dad passed away at 5:30 Tuesday morning at home with his family and loved ones.

His final hours were tough because hospice had not gotten his morphine out to him and it actually didn’t arrive till 2:30 Tuesday morning. He was unable to take the pain pills we had so he really struggled the final hours between the pain and the Phenomia with his lungs filling up.

My final memory of my dad is me sitting on the end table next to his recliner holding him up leaning forward with a rag to his mouth as he tried to cough up fluid from his lungs. He looked and me half out of it and said “Please help me.” that still brings tears to my eyes when I think of it.

The blessing we had in all of this was our day before he passed away. We were called to the hospital at 4:30 on Sunday morning to say good bye. They were putting my dad on a vent per his request and he said he wanted to see his grandchildren.

So we rounded everyone up and had kids, grandkids, aunts, uncles and cousins all at the hospital by 9. Dads heart was failing so if he was propped up his heart beat dropped to the 30-40 beats a min and if he laid flat the heart was good but he would start choking on fluids. After everyone was there he asked to have his tube pulled and they gave him a shot to hopefully stabilize his heart.

They told us not to expect it to last more than an hour or two. Well within 3 hours they moved him to a slightly lower risk room, 7 hours to a different floor out of ICU. The next morning the ICU Dr. ran into my mom in the café and asked why she was still at the hospital. Mom said “He is still with us!” The whole team from ICU came down to visit him because they could believe he made through the night.

It was really funny at around 4am Monday morning my sister walked into his room and dad was sitting up looking around. She said “What are you doing?” He said “Trying to figure out how I can come out and see you guys.” So she loaded him up in the wheel chair and I look down the hall here they come he was waiving with a big shit eating grin on his face. That was dad always with a smile….

It is a tough thing to watch but like Dave said be there for your friend as much as possible they will need it. I lost a very close friend 3 months before my dad from colon cancer and she was only 32. We had a lot of talks and  I think she helped me as much as I helped her because she was talking to me about what my dad was going through from his perspective. Enjoy the time you guys have left and make some memories if you can.

RE: final stage of stomach cancer

by fight on Fri Dec 24, 2010 05:49 AM

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God bless you and give you strenght for being there for your friend, that is the most imp. of all, and stay positive while he or she is fighting.  My father wanted to live (he was diagnosed with stage 3 almost 4 at 60 and made it one year exactly from the date he was diagnosed; we tried all we had access to for treatments and options) and even when he knew the end was coming you could tell w/out any words it meant the world to him to see me by his side, bringing him any joy and hope that I could, that is the best advice I can provide, everyone is so different.  My dad could not speak the last month and had a feeding tube which crushed me but just hang in there until the end...they know you are there, you will know and that is what counts. Dad was 61 when he passed away 2 yrs ago and I still remember it all as if it happened yesterday.     

RE: final stage of stomach cancer

by claudia1 on Fri Jan 28, 2011 07:57 PM

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My mom, 58 years old, died Nov. 27, 2010, two days after Thanksgiving, 3 years and 1 month, after her diagnosis.   to me the sad thing is she had Stage 1, stomach cancer, according to the docs, but still had to have a total gastrectomy.   She had 28 days of radiation after surgery, and only 1 week of chemo.   She survived 3 years, and she had some good times in between although the eating problems were always present.   Six months before she died, the doctors said that while they couldn't confirm it, it seemed the cancer had come back, and she had six months to live.   they said with chemo, maybe a year.    That was laughable because chemo would have killed her inside of a month with no food/vomiting, and her already only weighing 80 pounds.     She decided against the chemo, and sure enough, she died six months later.  Her decline was gradual.   She was still driving a month before she died.  She could still eat very tiny amounts of food and drink juice.  She started to become very weak, not being able to walk more than a few yards, or stand, about three months after her death prognosis (started to rely on a walker).   Then by the final month, she needed help to stand, walk to bathroom, bathe, but she was very alert.   She embarked on a mission to have a covered patio built in the back of my parents' house.  She said my dad would never do it after she died.   She was able to see the project completely finished and even enjoyed a couple of days sitting in the patio before she died.   She died two days after Thanksgiving at 4:30 a.m., peacefully, with her four grown children, sisters, neices, my dad, around her.   She was able to sit at the Thanksgiving dinner table with us.  The nice thing about my mom's final months is that she has an extremely close family and she was never alone day or night.  Before she got her hospital bed (she got it 10 days before she died), my dad would sometimes sleep in the living room because my mom's sisters would be visiting and would want to sleep at her side.   We, as a family, were able to take a trip to a Florida beach three months before she died.   It was the most memorable and beautiful trip and we have so many amazing pictures on the beach with my mom, dad, my sisters, and the grandkids.   The ocean, which was beautiful like the Caribbean, and calm like a swimming pool, allowed my mom to actually spend an hour a day swimming on a floating board.  And of course we were all in there with her.  Since she was weightless in the water, she had no issues with getting tired.   I have another friend whose mother died of stomach cancer a couple of weeks after my mom died, and they had taken a family vacation to Hawaii.   If your friend is still mobile, she should do something like a family vacation somewhere special.   My mom in the last two weeks at times would look totally "out of it", nonresponsive, but then she would snap out of it and ask for something to eat like a pork rib with baked potato (which of course she could only eat a little bit of it) but she had A LOT of cravings for different kinds of food in the end, including bread pudding, cheese pizza.   We honored her every request even though we knew she'd only be able to eat a couple of pieces.   A few days before she died, she really could not eat anything; our inclination was to urge her to eat "just one more bite"; she constantly requested ice chips in the last two weeks; she never became incontinent; she had an oxygen tank at her bedside the last week of her life as her lungs were starting that phase of death where you can't breath well anymore.   On her last day, she said to her sisters "help me" because I guess she felt the fear of not being able to breath well (even with the oxygen flowing) and probably knowing the end was near.   That was the most heartbreaking moment for me.   My mom had been wearing a pain patch for the last 3 months of her life so  physical pain had more to do with her little bones (especially her tail bone) sticking out and being painful against the bed or a chair.  She only weighed 75 pounds.   My mom was a beautiful woman and she loved to look her best at all times.   The last week of her life she asked for and received a manicure, pedicure, bang extensions on her hair (she didn't like people patting her head and smashing her hair down every time they came to visit, so she figured if people saw bangs, they'd stop patting her head).   My younger sister is a cosmetologist, so she had her covered on all of these issues.   We miss her.       

RE: final stage of stomach cancer

by TalksWithAngels on Fri Jan 28, 2011 08:11 PM

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congratulations on making your moms final year so special. I agree with everything you say about taking special holidays and really boosting the quality of life. I have stage 4 cancer myself and lost my husband to cancer 4 years ago so I know both sides of the story. I am determined to live whatever time I have in happy celebration of love, family and life. I know that you miss your Mom and always will, but you know that she will be with you always. I have written a book which is a spiritual guide to bereavement which may help you and your family to really feel that she is still besides you. The book is called 'Until Death Don't Us Part,' by Deborah Kay Hayward. You can find it on Amazon. I wish you many happy memories and hope that all the love you shared continues to bring you joy even in the saddest hour. God Bless xx 

RE: final stage of stomach cancer

by claudia1 on Sun Jan 30, 2011 12:10 AM

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Thank you for the book recommendation, Deborah Kay Hayward!

RE: final stage of stomach cancer

by sruff20000 on Wed Mar 16, 2011 03:51 PM

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My mother was 89 years old and was diagnosis with stomach cancer last August, 2010. She has always eaten out of a saucer instead of a plate.  In the beginning, it was not so bad. She got up some mornings, just sitting on the side of the bed, other morning she stayed in bed all bed. The doctor that diagnosed her wanted me to tell her, but I just could not knowing that she could not get any type of treatment because of her heart. Her primary doctor, who I thought would let me know when things were changing, did not. I asked him every month did the cancer spread, he would always tell me no. My mother was getting weaker as time went on. Christmas Eve she fell on the floor in some courses of the night, I found her on the floor the next morning. Nothing appeared to be broken although she was down about 2 days. That next Monday morning she was up feeling better as ever. She had even cooked dinner. By the end of January, she was admitted into the hospital January 31st, as she could not get up nor use the potty, and she just complained saying her legs hurt. Me not knowing that the cancer as actually spread throughout her body. She stay in the hospital and was released February 12th. Before she was release, I wanted the hospital to do a bone scan to see how far do the cancer spread, they told me no. So again I asked her primary doctor did the cancer spread he once again told me no. When the ambulance brought my mom home, she hollowed 24 hours. She was in sooo much pain. I called hospice care Monday morning they admitted her Monday afternoon and she passed Wednesday evening. I was her caregiver the only one out of two of her sisters, plus my brother. The good thing I can say, is I have 55 years good memories with my mother and her Homecoming was held on her would have been 90th birthday. However, I can say you will always miss your love one. Today it will be a month and it’s seem like yesterday.

 

Be strong and let them know how much you love them.

 

RE: final stage of stomach cancer

by neenjeanne on Thu Mar 24, 2011 10:40 PM

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On Jan 28, 2011 7:57 PM claudia1 wrote:

My mom, 58 years old, died Nov. 27, 2010, two days after Thanksgiving, 3 years and 1 month, after her diagnosis.   to me the sad thing is she had Stage 1, stomach cancer, according to the docs, but still had to have a total gastrectomy.   She had 28 days of radiation after surgery, and only 1 week of chemo.   She survived 3 years, and she had some good times in between although the eating problems were always present.   Six months before she died, the doctors said that while they couldn't confirm it, it seemed the cancer had come back, and she had six months to live.   they said with chemo, maybe a year.    That was laughable because chemo would have killed her inside of a month with no food/vomiting, and her already only weighing 80 pounds.     She decided against the chemo, and sure enough, she died six months later.  Her decline was gradual.   She was still driving a month before she died.  She could still eat very tiny amounts of food and drink juice.  She started to become very weak, not being able to walk more than a few yards, or stand, about three months after her death prognosis (started to rely on a walker).   Then by the final month, she needed help to stand, walk to bathroom, bathe, but she was very alert.   She embarked on a mission to have a covered patio built in the back of my parents' house.  She said my dad would never do it after she died.   She was able to see the project completely finished and even enjoyed a couple of days sitting in the patio before she died.   She died two days after Thanksgiving at 4:30 a.m., peacefully, with her four grown children, sisters, neices, my dad, around her.   She was able to sit at the Thanksgiving dinner table with us.  The nice thing about my mom's final months is that she has an extremely close family and she was never alone day or night.  Before she got her hospital bed (she got it 10 days before she died), my dad would sometimes sleep in the living room because my mom's sisters would be visiting and would want to sleep at her side.   We, as a family, were able to take a trip to a Florida beach three months before she died.   It was the most memorable and beautiful trip and we have so many amazing pictures on the beach with my mom, dad, my sisters, and the grandkids.   The ocean, which was beautiful like the Caribbean, and calm like a swimming pool, allowed my mom to actually spend an hour a day swimming on a floating board.  And of course we were all in there with her.  Since she was weightless in the water, she had no issues with getting tired.   I have another friend whose mother died of stomach cancer a couple of weeks after my mom died, and they had taken a family vacation to Hawaii.   If your friend is still mobile, she should do something like a family vacation somewhere special.   My mom in the last two weeks at times would look totally "out of it", nonresponsive, but then she would snap out of it and ask for something to eat like a pork rib with baked potato (which of course she could only eat a little bit of it) but she had A LOT of cravings for different kinds of food in the end, including bread pudding, cheese pizza.   We honored her every request even though we knew she'd only be able to eat a couple of pieces.   A few days before she died, she really could not eat anything; our inclination was to urge her to eat "just one more bite"; she constantly requested ice chips in the last two weeks; she never became incontinent; she had an oxygen tank at her bedside the last week of her life as her lungs were starting that phase of death where you can't breath well anymore.   On her last day, she said to her sisters "help me" because I guess she felt the fear of not being able to breath well (even with the oxygen flowing) and probably knowing the end was near.   That was the most heartbreaking moment for me.   My mom had been wearing a pain patch for the last 3 months of her life so  physical pain had more to do with her little bones (especially her tail bone) sticking out and being painful against the bed or a chair.  She only weighed 75 pounds.   My mom was a beautiful woman and she loved to look her best at all times.   The last week of her life she asked for and received a manicure, pedicure, bang extensions on her hair (she didn't like people patting her head and smashing her hair down every time they came to visit, so she figured if people saw bangs, they'd stop patting her head).   My younger sister is a cosmetologist, so she had her covered on all of these issues.   We miss her.       

Claudia1,

I'm so sorry for your loss-- I was mesmerized by your description of the last year of your mother's life -- she sounds like a remarkable woman and so do you! (and your sister and the rest of your family).

My condolences.

Jeanne

 

RE: final stage of stomach cancer

by Krystal86 on Mon Mar 11, 2013 04:48 PM

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I can feel your pain. I'm 27 and watching my dad who is 62 in palliative care loose his battle. I heard that the THC in hemp oil could kill cancer but can't get any. All I can do is watch him deteriorate and sleep more and more each day. :(
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