Need Info

Father is in final stages of met liver cancer. unknown origin. no treatment available other than pain meds. can no longer walk or hold his head up long. he is not able to lay down to sleep as his lungs fill. loss of appetite. and weight.doctors told him he only has months maybe, seems so weak somedays his head is always hanging down.with no treatment available to him and his health being so bad (also has copd)how long can he go on like this? he remains stubborn and wants to do things on his own.if anyone can give me some insight here please I am so scared.

Dear Linda, My name is Jeff and I have primary liver cancer with mets to both lungs. I am on the same path as your father. Although I am still walking and eating, the pain is getting worst. I had an operation and chemo over the past years but was always told by the Oncologist there was no cure. I even tried to go for a 5 week training to obtain a work at home job and had to give it up after the first week, as it was draining my strength. Your Father is loosing control just as I. I get very frustrated when my family members try to do things that I've always done. It's my way of adjusting and saying I'm still a man and a provider for my family. For me it is also a way of saying I'm not ready to leave my loved ones. I had the unfortunate opportunity to watch and help my neighbor who discovered he had cancer and passed on within a 6 month period. Tears, anger, paranoia, unable to do anthing at the end except sleep and watch television. Really the TV served as background noise and was comforting for him. I find that to be true now for myself althought not bed ridden yet. At this point he is probally feeling very lonely and scared. He is probally worried about how safe his loved ones will be after he makes his journey to the kingdom of God. Linda, at this point all you can do is be supportive as much as he will allow. As time goes on and the morphine for pain increases he will do a lot of sleeping. If he is as bad as you say the Lord will be calling for him sooner than later. You got to talk with family and friends and understand one thing when he is ready to stop fighting, he will let the pain be replaced with peace and relaxation. Please seek advice from an Hospice Nurse. They are very supportive and understanding. I know it hurts Linda, I can see the pain in my wife of 30 years and my daughter and son of 25 and 27 years. It is an emotional time for all. I'm sure I'll shed a tear or two as I am doing now. But I know it will be okay in the end. I have no choice but to put the remainder of my life and the future of my family in to the Lords hands. 50 Years of experience has taught me, Life will go on despite it's many challengers. God Bless your Father and God bless you for being a loving and caring Daughter. It's going to be okay. It's okay to be scared of the unknown and it's okay to cry and talk about how you feel. May God bless you all. JeffG.

Dear Jeff;
thank you for your response. It helps . Dad has been sleeping more off and on most likely due to the meds.He is still eating some thank goodness.He asked the other day when the time comes how will he know. Will he get a very sharp pain? we did not really know how to respond other than to tell him more than likely he will just go to sleep and not awaken. he does seem to be in pretty good spirits and maybe he is accepting the fact now that this is going to happen and there is nothing no one can do to stop this. My brother is in B.C. and has been calling to check on him . Because we are unsure of how long he has it is hard to tell him when to come. he already has a flight booked for july 7th, so he can come and spend some time with him before. I just hope that he will still be with us.I would hate it if he came home too late.My father raised my brother and I alone and although my brother is far away we are still close to my father , possibly I am closer as my brother has been in B.C. for many years now.I am very thankful my father's common law wife is here. I do not know what I would do without her. She took care of her mother thru cancer not too long ago and is having to face this again with my father. She is alot stronger than I am emotionaly. My heart goes out to her daughter who is only 14, and she and my father are very close, this is very hard on her.I know that my father is very worried about them and what will happen to them after he is gone.My heart and prayers go out to you and your family as well.This is the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with in my life so far.But you are right it helps to talk about this. and I thank you vry much for your insight. please take care and again thank you . Linda

God Bless you, you are a very strong man, my husband passed away May 25, 2005 from liver cancer. It was a hard pill to swallow, we found out in feb of 2005 and he passed away 3 months later.

May God be with you.

My father ws diagnosed on MAy 10th with secondary liver cancer. He wanted to be home and live the rest of his life there with family and away form hospital's. Every day seemed to get worse. The lord has called him quckly and ended his pain. Dad went peacefully at home friday june 9th with his family all around.One month after diagnosis. my he be at peace. We will miss him so.God bless all of you who have this terrible disease and god bless thier families as well. this web site helped me deal with this and i am very thank ful for all the support from reading these inserts and from responses as well .