Hi, Sarah,
I am so, so sorry that you are going through this--it is a very difficult process. I was a Hospice volunteer for many years and lost my father last year after his two-and-a-half year battle with a brain tumor.
I'm surprised that Hospice has expressed such frustration with your friend's anger. All of the Hospice people I've known (including myself) had a great deal of training to deal with just that. It is so understandable to be so angry--being as scared as I'm sure she is can very easily produce that kind of reaction--I can only imagine the fear that she lives with and must deal with every single moment of every single day. We had Hospice the last couple of months of Dad's life and they made a huge difference. I've been a volunteer with patients with bone cancer and, you're right, the pain is nearly intolerable. However, Hospice should be able to get it under control with morphine. Your friend will probably require so much that she will rarely be conscious, which she may not want at this point--it is a horrible decision to have to make.
Dad was very angry too--as was I. We just dealt with it the best we could--we would ask him what he was actually mad about, ask him if he was in pain--told him that I was there and loved him so much and would do anything to make him comfortable. We told funny stories about our lives together, made his favorite foods, drank his favorite wine (which the doctors frowned upon but at that point does it really make a difference if it made him happy?), watched silly television shows and movies, did a gazillion crossword puzzles together, played cards for hours and hours on end--I brought my friends over for "parties," asked his friends to visit, had people from his church come to visit every week. The important thing was just spending time together. Some things that always seemed to help were rubbing his feet (my Hospice patients always liked that too), and even if we were just being quiet together for hours I always made sure that I would touch him in some way--hold his hand, hold his forearm, have my feet touching his. He used to ask me, "Have you got hold of me?" and I always told him, "Sweetie, I've got you and I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you, I promise." It always reassured him and calmed him down. I always made sure to be in physical contact with him even if I was reading, napping, whatever--it made him feel better to be in contact with someone healthy and alive. I sat on the arm of his chair, made him move over and make room for me in the hospital bed, propped my feet on his hospital bed from the chair that I would place next to it...
I hope this helps at least a bit--hang in there and know that you and your loved ones are in my thoughts and my prayers.