Hello sherri,
I was diagnosed at 35 with stage 4 inoperable tumour with also one node positive in my collarbone area.That was 2 years ago.The oncologist stated from the start that it was incurable and surgery would not really make a difference to the chances of survival as it had already spread.At the time eating was a real battle and drinking was almost the same.I recieved radiation and chemo and straight away my symptoms improved.
I think everyone is different and some things work for some people that dont work for others,age,lifestyle,where it has spread to etc.I also think some doctors give the worst possible outcome from the start so as not to get someones hopes up.I had honestly thought because of all the statistics that i would not be here 2 years later but you know what!here i am :)
I guess it is up to the person as an individual on how they will handle having this type of cancer.Doctor s can only assume what the outcome is and go by statistics,medical history,the individual persons lifestyle.Im sure diet is important and keeping active and trying to keep a positive outlook are all things that will help in surviving long term.
I wish all the best and hope for a postive outcome for your husband :)