My Mom Has Stage 4 Metastic Cancer

In May my Mom went to the doctor with shortness of breath. The doctor sent her to the hospital for an x-ray & cat scan. Two days later she was in the hospital and they removed 1500 cc's of fluid from her pleural space. She had more, but they had to stop because she had chest pains. The following week she was diagnosed with cancer. The doc sent her for a pet scan. The pet scan showed several masses. From her abdomen to her lungs. He believed it could have started in the colon so she had a colonoscopy. The colonoscopy was negative for cancer. She had spots on the outside of the colon, not inside.

We just went to the oncologist today and he said that because her liver level was REALLY high he believes that the cancer is in the liver not just on. He also is confident that it is a gynecological cancer, but they can't know for sure without surgery. The oncologist said surgery would be too risky because she has so many masses. He said the goal is to prolong life.

So she will have more fluid drained this week and they he wants her to go for a procedure were they put her into a twilight sleep and remove ALL of the fluid then put talc in.

She has very little symptoms, but he said they WILL get worse without treatment. I've heard that chemo will only make her sick and can't cure her. So why should she do it? Can anyone tell me for sure that she will die any sooner if she doesn't take it?

My Dad died suddenly four years ago. That was REALLY hard. We moved on and now my sister getting married August 5th and I would hate my mom to have to attend it sick and without her hair only to prolong her life for a few months. I'm VERY positive with Mom because I know it is important but I can't help but be realistic.

Does anyone have a similar situation? I would love to hear them all. Even the ones with sad outcomes.

Thanks for listening.

I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer almost 2 years ago. I knew nothing about this disease , but I did know that I had to get my treatment someplace where all they treat is cancer. Since then my research has confirmed that this is the most important step in getting the best treatment and prognosis possible. Standard of care is debulking surgery by gynecologist-oncologist and then maybe chemo, if your mom can tolerate it. I don't know your mother's condition, but at least get her to a cancer center for a second opinion, by a gynecologist-oncologist. Read some of these other messages. There is always hope if not for an absolute cure then at least for a better quality of life and maybe more time.

I am, Jo Ann and my husband Ralph has Melanoma Cancer and was stage 4. I do know just what you are going through. Ralph came down with his second time with Melanoma Cancer, we had plans too. Saw his doctor 12-16-2002 and in 2-24-2003 it was back and it was every where in his body, also had a Pet Scan. They sent us to UVA Medical Center to get in the experimental program. We were their for a little over 10 days and they told us Ealph only had 8 weeks go home get our affairs in order.Came home and they put him on Chemo, 1 out of 5 it works on. Yes it makes them some sick not like you think. Our daughter was to get married Fathers Days and she told her Dad you can't do this too me, you have to walk me down the isle. She said Mom, Dad I will put if off til you are better.Her Dad said your brother can walk you down the isle, she said no no you have too. He was sick, but she called him every day after she went back home, some times 2 times a day. Dad, can't let me down and I believe with Our Lord, Prayers and the doctors is why I still have Ralph.Ralph walked our daughter down the isle in Las Vegas where she lives and has business we live in Va. and we flew our their and back, it was a blessing to all of us.
Don't give up, Your Lord like our, Prayers and doctors can get you through.
If you ever need to talk email me --- Message edited by CancerCompass staff: for personal protection, email address removed. Please review CancerCompass Member Guidelines at http://www.cancercompass.com/common/guidelines.html ---- Prayers with you and your Mom.

The positive attitude thinking didn't work. In fact, I think it made her believe she wasn't as sick as she actually was.

As a result, one week after her first chemo treatment she came down with an infection. She spent 12 hours in the ER suffering with extruciating pain, went into cardiac arrest and died on Friday, July 21st.

I was saddened to hear that she did not make it, my heartfelt
sympathies to you and your family.

Your Mom was very lucky to have such a loving family. God bless you in what must be a very difficult time. Remember the good things.

hi bandyty,
we, my sisters and i have just lost our mum to ovarian cancer,hers was a rare mixed mullerian carcinoma and very aggresive.our mum had battled for nearly 3 years having intensive chemotherapy and being 72 when she was first diagnosed she wasn't a young lady but what a FIGHTER!! I dont suppose that the dr's can say if it will do any good or not as our mum's was just a life prolonger but it gave us nearly 3 years of extra time with her and up until the last month of her life she coped remarkably well.
I am so sorry to hesr your very sad news and am not sure how things will be with you at the moment as im not sure how often these message boards get updated? i would love to hear from you or anyone else at these sad times in all our lives.
regards suex