But whether that's good or bad isn't yet clear
by paysongeorgi on Mon May 16, 2011 11:30 PM
I have never had so many mixed feelings about life in general as I have reading this board. With 3 cancers behind me, I find that this is the only board that I ever use. I make friends and see them struggle so, along with their families and it is painful. We are all trying so hard to deal with this Monster that very few really understand. Some of my friends lose their battle and others do not. Why am I still here? Don't know and I am not out of the woods yet. I find that if I think about it too much than what ever joy I do have is lost in fear. Not fear of death, but of all the little things we go through first. Don't get me wrong, I am happy to be alive, but what about my other brother and sisters on this board? What about them. We all have our ways of coping, mine is faith. No I don't understand it all, but don't expect that I ever will. As humans we all want the answers to our WHYS in life. Someday I will have it, but not just yet. I feel embaressed and ungreatful to say that on my very bad days [ still have some] I actually have thought well you know what I have thought.........
I Know I am a miracle. My oncologest just shakes his head. I have had to slow down, can't do stuff I once did. Need the oxygen. My brother, God love hime wanted us to all go out for mexican food and dancing. I said sure maybe sometime, knowing I don't have air to breath let alone dance........and mexxican food...sometimes yes sometimes no. which time I don't know.
NOW did I tell you about my beautiful grandchildten? I love to go watch their games..............Thanks God. The pot lucks with friends are fun and oooooh I love to play cards..
THANKS a big one to all of you on this board. I can truly say "I know how you feel and I really do. I love you all
by ACSSR on Mon May 16, 2011 11:49 PM
We love you too and grandchildren are the best thing in the world to perk you up.
by Oudave83 on Tue May 17, 2011 12:34 AM
Great post...we hear ya and we feel ya!!!!!!!!!!
by drn56 on Tue May 17, 2011 12:32 PM
I echo a lot of your same feelings. I too believe I am a miracle. I am so grateful for being given this extra time when I know others are not so lucky. I try to give back by saying extra prayers for those who are still suffering as I believe that all of the prayers I received on my behalf helped me.
I am at the 3 1/2 yr point in my journey and am so thankful that I have this time to spend with my 4 grandkids. We just got back from a family trip to Disney World and it was like a wish come true for me to be able to be there the first time they experienced all of that fun.
by doingfine on Tue May 17, 2011 09:58 PM
Me too! I am a miracle. My surgeon didn't think I would survive the surgery. She said I was to weak. Boy did I show her! I'm a tough little rascal. God wasn't ready for me yet. Besides He has work for me to do down here. My surgery was 10 hours. The nurses said I was the first one they ever saw wake up with a smile on their face! : - ): - ) I am still smiling. Yes, there are things I miss....like we talked about, Georgi, sleeping on my stomach is one.
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