Women who don't have BRCA mutations could have other high-risk genes that affect treatment choices
by maries830 on Mon May 23, 2011 05:50 PM
My husband, Phil, died on May 11. He was the love of my life and my best friend. I don't know how I am going to be able to go on without him. It isn't that I can't manage with the house or finances, because I always did that. It's that I can't handle this horrible hole in my heart. It is that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, when I realize he's not coming home. Time will probably not make it so raw. Does anyone have any suggestions? I also lost my mother on December 6, 2010. I must have done something really terrible for God to punish me by taking away my 2 best friends so close together.
by beatingcancer on Mon May 23, 2011 07:00 PM
You are not being punished by God. You are loved and precious to Him! He is waiting for you to come to His open arms and allow Him to heal you and fill your empty heart with His everlasting love. Jesus Christ is the God of forgiveness and compassion, who knows how fragile we are. The greatest greivance to Him is our unbelief. There is no one in the world who loves you more than our Creator God who gave up His life and took on our sins, so we could be eternally free from the hopelessness and destruction that this fallen world brings. I pray that you will feel the Lord's love and comfort. In Christ, Lynn
John 3:17 "For God did NOT send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but that the world through Him might be saved."
by drebeslinkroger on Mon May 23, 2011 07:26 PM
On May 23, 2011 5:50 PM maries830 wrote: My husband, Phil, died on May 11. He was the love of my life and my best friend. I don't know how I am going to be able to go on without him. It isn't that I can't manage with the house or finances, because I always did that. It's that I can't handle this horrible hole in my heart. It is that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach, when I realize he's not coming home. Time will probably not make it so raw. Does anyone have any suggestions? I also lost my mother on December 6, 2010. I must have done something really terrible for God to punish me by taking away my 2 best friends so close together.
On May 23, 2011 5:50 PM maries830 wrote:
Hi Marie, My husband died on May 8th after 1 1/2 years in pain and suffering. He was 56. I will be able to also survive because I am self sufficient. Last night was my first night alone with all the family gone. I am looking ahead though to things that I can do which I couldn't before. It seems like there is change in every part of my life from a new office at work to a new grandchild to hold. That is what we have to look for. Our lives with our husbands will always be there. we have to go into the other world that does not include them--just a little at a time. We will see them again but they are in a glorious place now with no pain. Take pleasure where you can find it. Our Great God will provide that for us and don't turn it down. In God's Love Marilyn
by GoldDustWoman on Mon May 23, 2011 07:59 PM
Dear Marie ~
I have not been through the pain you have but I have been through the fear of it. During the most difficult time of my husband's treatment I wrote that the fear of being left behind without the love of my life was greater than the fear of losing my own. I can only imagine the pain you are feeling. My heart ached with pain as I read you post. My thoughts and prayers go out to you.
God is not punishing you. You will see your beloved husband again I promise you. I'm not some crazy Christian out here to preach about faith and all that. That is the last thing you want to hear right now and it isn't my point anyway. My point is that I personally know that there is a life after this, I have seen it. I know you will be with your husband again. For whatever reason, he was called to the next life and you're here to do something more. It doens't feel fair, it's not right, and it's pain beyond description I'm sure. But take some small amount of comfort in knowing you'll see him again and while you are here he IS with you. Trust me, you WILL feel him with you. Someday you may understand why this had to happen the way it did, why you are here to do more with this life. But in the mean time think about how he'd want you to go on, to be happy as best you can, and to live your life here to the fullest - until you see him again. You will. I know it.
Much love to you my dear ~ GDW
by canadianinlove on Mon May 23, 2011 09:34 PM
Unfortunatally, I have no advice for feeling better because most days I feel like you do. My husband passed away Jan 6/11. I too feel like I am being punished and I ask what have I done so wrong in my life for the love of my life, my soul mate to be taken from me and our 6 year old son. I know I am not much help but I wanted you to know your not alone.....
I am sending you a bug cyber (((((((((((((hug))))))))))
~~~lost without the love of my life~~~
by canadianinlove on Mon May 23, 2011 09:35 PM
ooops sorry that should have said big cyber hug.....
by MyBeloved on Mon May 23, 2011 10:15 PM
Amen to you "beatingcancer" for your words of comfort and truth, that can only be found in our loving Savior. Many prayers and blessings to you.
by tpatterson on Mon May 23, 2011 10:17 PM
Marie, I am so sorry for your devastating loss. I know of the love you speak about. My husband is also the love of my life and my very best friend. He is currently in the fight against stg. 4 lung cancer. Please know that God is not punishing you for anything! No one could every do anything to deserve cancer or being the caretaker of a cancer patient. It's just that life is sometimes more difficult than we ever imagined, and we will make it...we will find the courage and strength to move forward.
If it's possible, take brisk walks every morning and evening to get the blood and lungs pumping. It does relieve stress and produces endorphins to make us feel better. Stop to smell a neighbor's rose bush or freshly cut grass. I am saying this because this is what I am doing to help get through my husband's illness. I wish he could accompany me on these walks, because they really do help, albeit temporarily.
I think the evenings are the worst. That's when he is asleep and I have too much time to let my mind wander. I, too, have that pit in my stomach that aches already, and he is still here. I feel jealous when I see other couples who are our ages and are healthy, or I see seniors together celebrating 50-60 years and I start my pity party. I've thought that maybe getting a pet would help. Is this something that you'd be interested in? Maybe getting a rescue dog???
Just know you are not alone in your sorrow, and you WILL get through this difficult time. I am praying for you! Hugs :) Tina
Again, I am so sorry for the loss of your husband. He is no longer suffering, and he would want you to make the most of your time here. I feel loss already, but mine right now is the loss of the husband I had before dx. I am mourning the loss of spending our retirement years together and growing old together. But everyday, we just keep putting one foot in front of the other and praying that the world will seem brigher with each passing day.
by dholloway59 on Mon May 23, 2011 10:41 PM
Just read your comment to the post.
Wow i sure can relate to how you are feeling.
My hubby is in stage 3 of lung cancer.
All we do is go back and forth for chemo and radation.
I miss the life we used to have.
And i also miss our walks we used to go on.
He sleeps most of the time now b/c of the coughing all night.
Anyways just wanted to say "hi" to you.
God bless you both.
by dholloway59 on Mon May 23, 2011 10:58 PM
Big ((((hugs and prayers)))) coming your way.
I asked the same questions as you,
My hubby is in stage 3 lung cancer.
Every day consists of taking him for radation he has 15 more to go...
He starts chemo again on june 6th.
He was suppose to start today but he kept gettin sick and throwin up.
So dr cancelled it b/c it was too hard on his body.
Now he coughs all day and night due to the radation.
I just want our lifes back and like you i think god is punishing me,
Especially when he quit smoking 10 years ago i get very,very angry and keep askin why?
I also get very scared knowing that someday i might be alone like you are.
So i really do feel for you.((((hugs))))
All i can suggest is try and trust in god that he has a plan for your life we just don't know what it is..
God bless you...
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