How do You Cope?

My ex husband has lung cancer that has now spread to his bones and we don't know where else. He has been on Hospice since Feb. They are telling me that he has maybe until some time in August before he passes. I came back to live with him in December. I have watched him slowly decline. Recently he is very difficult to deal with. His mind is definitely not right. I know he is on alot of meds but you have to wonder if it has now gone to his brain. I have to be here now 24/7 as he doesn't know what he is doing from one second to another. He fights going to bed at night constantly. Everyone keeps telling me it is just going to get worse. I need some advice from someone who has dealt with this. I get very frustrated at times and am totally exhausted. Any words of advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you. Pam

Pam,

I just came across your message -- are you still dealing with this?  My sister and I can relate.  Let me know.

 Sharon

How? Why? There are no  fantastic cure all answers. My first time on this support group. I feel like a roller coster ride gone wrong with emotions- my husband at 49 diagnosed with SCC Non small cell total pneumonectomy and lymph node removal in December. Why-- I found is not a productive question. How is. Prayer, humility, listening only to advice given from trusted sources- like your pastor, good friends, and mostly God. I have yelled at God so much that I have a vocal chord nodule since the diagnosis in December. HOW? Trust! and truely I take it one hour at a time. The next hour is something different. Don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family (I was too "strong" for that"). People love to help and contribute and it is OK to receive help.

How do you eat an elephant- one bite at a time. I feel scared, angry, selfish, bitter, joyful, prayerful, peaceful and then back again through all the other emotions. I realized this is OK and normal! My husband is currnetly through his second round of chemo. He is tired and frustrated. I love and am quiet without judging.

 I make sure to have "me time"- exercise and going to the park during a lunch break and sitting on the hammock outside to talk with God. Life got so busy I forgot about me. Can't help others if you;re ragged.

Love and hugs and sympathy and prayer.

Cindy

Cindy,

Thank you for your wise advice and I pray for your situation.  Yes, God is our strength and refuge.  When I forget that, I get tired and weak and don't want to deal with it any longer, then I somehow hear a small whisper reminding me to lay my burdens down with Him and He gives me strength to go on.    

Love, Sharon