Mother Is Very Ill, Need Answers And Compassion, Please

My mother is 75 years old and frail. She is recently diagnosed with liver cancer that has already spread to the colon. They think it may have come from the bile ducts or upper gastric area originally. She is slowly fading every day and is, so far, too weak for surgery or chemo. No Doctors will tell me the straight truth, just push on with talking of eventual treatments and not what I see every day.. yellow skin, pain in side.. falling into deep sleeps that look like she will never wake up. I beleive that she will die soon and want to prepare as much as I can emotionally, (as does she if this is the case). Am I being pessimistic or a realist?

Chrissy, I know from experience with my daughters mother in law, she went through the same thing, she was only 56 at the time she died. We have a nurse on our prayer board, www.allin1accord.com, that was a hospice nurse, and she had reccomended hospice, it is a wonderful org. and I know how it has helped many people I know who have had cancer, I believe you are being a realist.

I too have cancer, but a very rare form, Waldernstroms macroglobulinemia, it is a cancer of the b cells, and there is no cure for it, but I have to face reality, and I am depending a lot on my prayer partners to help me through this and I get great support! I think a good support group for you would really help you a lot, I will be praying for your mom and you, that God gives you the peace and understanding you need, if you ever want to visit our prayer board, for support, we would all welcome you, there are quite a few cancer survivors there and ones still battleing it, but they are a wonderful support group for anyone going through this horrid thing, you will need the user name and PW to get on, user name is praise and PW is love, I hope this helps you, and I will be praying for you both, God bless, Pat

I am very sorry to hear about your mother. It definitely does
not sound good. Statistics say that liver cancer spreads quickly
and has a high mortality rate. You're mom's age and overall
poor health make it a very difficult situation. I'm 42 and quite
healthy. When my colon cancer metastasised to my liver in
April, my docs told me I would likely die within months -
perhaps a couple years if I'm lucky. I've since found more
hopeful news, but it doesn't sound as if your mom is strong
enough to go through surgery or treatments. Chemo and
radiation are very rough - even for young and healthy people.

Please find an oncologist who will give you straight answers.
Also, search for a hospice organization in your area and have
them begin helping you right away. They will be able to
answer a lot of your questions and help you and your mom
deal with end of life issues as well as ease her suffering.

Tell her you love her and think of anything and everything you
want her to know before she dies. If she's strong enough,
allow her to see her friends and family and say goodbye to
them while she is able to.

I am so sorry for your pain. My thoughts and prayers are with
you.