On Nov 27, 2004 12:00 AM Russell wrote:
Dear Penny,
I am sure your husband is so looking forwrd to his last treatment. That is one of the dates that I will never forget...May 29, 2001...the day of my last treatment. The recovery process from the treatments was very long for me. As I understand it, the body eradicates the chemo drug through your sweat, your urine, etc. But the radiation treatments can have long lasting side effects. Even today, after four years, I am in a constant state of mild nausea, I fatigue very easily, and I have pain in my incision area. I also suffer from neuropathy. My feet have such numbness, tingling and shooting pain. Sometimes I lay in bed at night with my knees pulled up to my chest and just shake my feet. But Penny...I look at these things as merely minor inconveniences that I have learned to live with...I am alive and have survived one of the most deadliest cancers out there. Novemeber 3rd was my four year anniversary from surgery. Hopefully your husband will recover quickly...everyone is different. I went back to work while I was under my second go around of chemo. At first I was part-time, and then after treaments I went full-time. that lasted for about one year, and then I just couldn't do it anymore...I retired on social security disabilty at the age of 58.
My best to you and your husband, and if you have any questons or would like to communicate further, please feel free.
Best Regards, Russ
Hi Russ,
We haven't spoken yet, but we are to some degree in the same boat. Next April it will be 3 years since my diagnosis with PC. Sometimes I feel like a survivor and sometimes I think I'm just whistling in the dark. But there is not doubt about the remission: PC19-9 markers ranging from 1.4 to 4. PET score of 1.0, no mets anywhere. And this is with an inoperable tumor wrapped around several arteries. Six large treatments with Gemzar and 33 radiation treatments got me here; that and a lot of prayers from friends and relatives.
So I look and act healthy, for the most part. When I'm not looking and acting healthy I am, like you, easily exhausted, frequently nauseous and subject to sharp but short-lived stomach pains after eating. Sleep has become more difficult, with mild neuropathy and occasional panic attacks that mimic congestive heart failure. The poor sleep and muscular fatigue sometines make it hard to pry myself off of couch, let alone out of the house.
But, I suspect you know that these physical discomforts are not actually that bad. What do you expect at 64? What's worst for me is:
Uncertainty. Am I a survivor or just someone blessed with a long remission? Should I measure my future in weeks or years? The choice I make regarding "there's no tomorow" kinds of road trips and family things vs. committing myself to years of re-education depend on how I answer to this question.
Frustration. I was laid of from my consulting job just a month before I was diagnosed with PC (probably a connection there). Two and a half years after being let go I find myself wanting badly to make some kind of contribution to, if not "humanity", at least other people directly. One of the things that gets me down the most is the little I have been able to accomplish, and the lack of time to do anything about that now.
At a minimum, I need a creative outlet. Whether I die a week or a decade from now, want a creative outlet. Does that mean a "job"? Paid jobs are few for 64-year-old ex fisheries biologists. Have you tried to get work in your former area of expertise? Have you tried working at something entirely new? Have you tried volunteer work (I'm thinking about being a Hospice volunteer)?
Forgive my blathering. It's one of the glued to the couch days and I wanted to initiate aconversation with one of the few people who may be in my position.
Bruce