How can I help my mother deal with dying of cancer

My mother has be going thru this cancer stuff for two year. First she had her ovary removed and lymps in the stomach. The doctor said the cancer was gone and all she need was chemo and we did the chemo. Every month we went to the doctor to get her blood drawen so they could make sure that the cancer wasn't back and all the time it was back and they didn't know even with the blood test to tell for cancer. On her one year checkup I took her to the hospital for appoint but first we went to the emergercy room because here ear was hurting and she said she couldn't hear out of her ear. Well the doctor in the ER said my mother had brain cancer and the ovarian cancer was back. My mother is very angry and depressed because she say she is going to die. She is mad all the time and very hard to please. I just don't know to help her cope. I try not to do everything for like she is a baby because she is dying. I feel so helpless at time to make her life ok with this time she has left. I just don't know what to do or if there is anything I can do.

On Jun 30, 2011 2:29 AM biglady wrote:

My mother has be going thru this cancer stuff for two year. First she had her ovary removed and lymps in the stomach. The doctor said the cancer was gone and all she need was chemo and we did the chemo. Every month we went to the doctor to get her blood drawen so they could make sure that the cancer wasn't back and all the time it was back and they didn't know even with the blood test to tell for cancer. On her one year checkup I took her to the hospital for appoint but first we went to the emergercy room because here ear was hurting and she said she couldn't hear out of her ear. Well the doctor in the ER said my mother had brain cancer and the ovarian cancer was back. My mother is very angry and depressed because she say she is going to die. She is mad all the time and very hard to please. I just don't know to help her cope. I try not to do everything for like she is a baby because she is dying. I feel so helpless at time to make her life ok with this time she has left. I just don't know what to do or if there is anything I can do.

There are many ovarian support groups that my sister, who had ovarian cancer, got involved with that helped her, and I cope with this horrible disease.   When there are women who are going through this together, they are able to share what has worked for them and give each other hope.  Research on the internet also gave my sister knowledge, which is also powerful.   

I wish you would keep us posted about how you deal with your mom. Being a stage 4 ovarian cancer, I  may have my daughter in the same tough spot you are in. It would be kind of you to share your story as it unfolds. And know that we are here supporting you in spirit. Us moms are scared too. It sometimes is hard to tell scared from angry,dear.I'm sorry it isn't easier. Cheers to you

I am so sorry about your mother first of all. Let me first tell you, that there is probably nothing you can do or say to make things better for her. (and you)  She will come to grips with it herself, and the best thing you can do is "what you are doing." There are no words you can say, nothing you can give her (except love, support and understanding). I wrote on article on coping with cancer (from my point of view) as I had cancer. You can read it if you would like. 

http://www.mystoryofcancer.com/Coping_With_Cancer.html

Hello again! I was wondering how you and your mom are doing? Has the brain cancer progressed? What is she doing for meds? Are you her primary care person? I had an MRI yesterday since I am having headaches, and ear issues, and worse eye problem on the right side over left. I thought of you when I saw the doctor last. I recently started IV Vitamin C treatments, and got an excellent Dr. Of Internal Medicine to oversee my care. I  get the C through the Naturopathic College. I will be happier to have  people who care about the wellbeing of my entire body rather that just shooting me with poison and then only treating side effects. Maybe your mom could use some different care to help with her quality of life right now? It is improving my attitude for sure! Tell her for me that I am smokin' mad too! And I cry every day. I also laugh every day, and have instructed my friends to force me to get up and out of the bed! Sometimes the succeed. Can she type a note? This site really has helped me. Cheers,Wydra

Hi, I am dying of ovarian cancer too. I hv tried everything, all the drugs available and radiation, none of them works so far. I hv seem 2 psychotrists before, what they prescripted me did not make me feel better, but I think maybe your mom can try.

As for how I copy with my death, I hv been sick so long, in fact I do not feel life is happy anymore. I am not in pain all the time yet, as soon as I reach that, I will go without any hestation since that is the only way I can rest in peace.

Best wishes.