diagnosed yesterday, brain spinning,I just turned 30, 3 days ago.happy birthday to me

My head is spinning, I just turned 30, then the next day I went to my Dr for something unrelated, that night they called me to tell me my white blood cell count was the highest they have ever seen (I live in the country so I tend to assume they havent seen much). They sent me to a specialist yesterday and I was diagnosed with CML. They did another blood test just for my records and I go back on the 26th for a bone marrow biopsy. They don't know how progressed I am but they assume it is in the chronic stage because I appear healthy otherwise. But I am exhausted and nauseus, One of the hardest things I am having trouble wrapping my head around, asside from the facts of having Leukemia, is that I have not had any biological children, but I was planning on having some, and they told me i could never have any because of the medications. I have an adopted daughter who is 16 months old, but I really wanted to carry a biological child also. 

Really just feeling like I got hit by a train and thought I would come on here and maybe find some other people with it who might know what I am talking about.

I have told only close family and friends, some have gone into "super helper" mode, offering to take care of me etc (really, I don't need to be taken care of), then there are the people who try to tell me its like having diabetes, (no, its diferent) and then the majority of them have looked like a dear in the headlights and just back away. Maybe I am reminding them that we are all mortal, idk. Its been a very busy couple of days.

asside from all that I am optimistic...in my way.

I can only imagine the feeling, NayanaCML!

Happy Belated Birthday too.

I hope you've learned more about your leukemia and new rays of hope are shining...your 16month old is lucky to have you and I hope you are seeing a hematological oncologist (is that the right term?) and there's new information - treatment options out there that may lighten your fight against this blood cancer and level out the psychological burden/grief at this time...you're in my thoughts and prayers.

Hi Nayana, It's a late-coming happybirthday from China.

Is Gleevec ok to you?  You are in my prayer, and I hope to know more about your current status.

James

I see it is a couple of months since you posted but I still wanted to mention Lance Armstrong. He also underwent treatment for cancer but after being told he would not be able to father a child, had a procedure that collected his sperm for later use. The last I read, he is now a father of three biological children. You might check into it. As for people's reactions, you never get used to the different reactions. Some talk to you like this is it while others just give you pitying looks. I can remember wanting to scream "I'm still here" and I am - 4 years later and cancer free. I had to laugh when someone came up to a group of us standing at Midway airport in Chicago. I had just flown in for treatment at the Cancer Treatment Center of America in Zion, IL. The limo driver was waiting for one las patient and holding a sign that read CTCA. A gentleman walked over to us and said "What does that stand for - Come To Chicago Again? I told him no, it stood for Cancer Treatment Center of America. The poor guy almost tripped over his own feet back pedaling away from us.". I told him not to worry, we weren't contagious. I can remember the oncologist telling me I was healthy going into treatment and that was good. All I could think at the time was "You just told me I have cancer - how can I be healthy OR that be good.". He just meant I was better able to tolerate treatment and also odds were in favor of beating it. I pray all goes well for you - and God does answer prayers - He never closes or takes a break. Diana