feeling empty and alone.

My father passed away last week from reccurance of mets to the lungs and liver that eventually spread everywhere except the bones. Earlier, he was responding well to chemo until the doc put him on hold saying he was"getting better without the chemo". I don't understand the logic but don't want to start the hate/blame cycle. I have been doing pretty okay until I returned to work today and receive all these condolences. I think it's finally hitting me that my father has left me and I am actually without him forever.

I feel...lost.

 

Hi Fathi

I'mso sorryfor your loss of your father.  I lost my dad [in 2003 - I felt so lost!], and I too 'questioned' the doctor's handling of his illness.  She [Dr.] later said, [after his death], 'that she should have taken more care of him'.  But Ichose, [and knew] just how ill he was, and that his time had come   -  rather than blaming.

Again Fathi, I'm so sorry for your loss, but things WILLget better.  If you have true friends, and/or family support - they will help you.  If you have NO ONE, then talk to me [or others] on this site.  You are NEVERalone !!!!.              

♥♥♥ Acacia [Pat, Australia]

 

Dear Acacia,

Thank you for your kind words. It does not seem like things can get better without him - i miss him in everything i do. he was there all the time and now he just isn't. But I will try. I had hope that he will get better, and now i am trying to have hope that everything else will get better. I'm trying.

It was brave of your doctor to admit that. I wish his doctor would talk to us more instead of not showing up at all in the end. It wouldnt bring my dad back, but we would get some closure and understanding.

Once again, thank you. really, thanks.

I'm so sorry you are going through this. I just found out Monday my dad has metastatic liver cancer and it is awful, isn't it? He went in for esophageal cancer surgery and they just closed him back up because it was too late. I'm trying to realize that this is how life is but it doesn't help. I'm thinking of you.

On Oct 04, 2011 5:01 AM Fathi wrote:

My father passed away last week from reccurance of mets to the lungs and liver that eventually spread everywhere except the bones. Earlier, he was responding well to chemo until the doc put him on hold saying he was"getting better without the chemo". I don't understand the logic but don't want to start the hate/blame cycle. I have been doing pretty okay until I returned to work today and receive all these condolences. I think it's finally hitting me that my father has left me and I am actually without him forever.

I feel...lost.

 

((((((HUGS AND PRAYERS))))) Coming your way...

We started this horrible journey in Jan.

Started out in his lung,then went to his liver now in his brain..

 

My hubby had ALOT of chemo an Rad.

This has been a BAD roller coster I WANT to get off.

He is to get his last Rad tomorrow.

Then have to wait a month for another scan.

GOD BLESS YOU AND YOUR FAMILY!!!

Dorothy

 

 

 

I hope someone has answered since October.  I hope your pain has eased.  They say it does, but....  It has only been 6 weeks since my husband was diagnosed, and already I am so tired.  I know I can and will go on,  I just don't want to.

Thanks all of you for sharing your stories. My son George, who was 19, died 1/29/2012. I still feel like my world has ended. I have three other children who are 23, 12, and 6, who need me to be the father I have always been. That is the only reason I'm still going. I have went from living life to the fullest to surviving. I am a man of strong Christian faith who feels lost, empty, alone, hurt, and weak. I pray constantly that this pain eases. I talk to family constantly and pour out my feelings. My x-wife(my kids mom) and I talk hours every day just to help each other with this greif. I am back working where the job and people are wonderfull. At least I'm still doing good at my job. I hide so I can cry when I'm here at work or in front of my kids. I lie and tell friends that I'm fine. Why doesn't God just tell me that my son is ok? Am I losing it?  

gmil, I am so sorry for your loss, there are no words that one can say that will comfort you, more than what you are already saying to our father in heaven. Say in tune and touch with him and he will get you through this. And please there is no need to hide when you cry, this is part of the process, real men do cry including Jesus. you must let your other children know what is going in with you because they my want to cry and grief as well but they see their hero not crying so my think that it is not cool to cry or to grief. And one thing that you must remember, it is not sayng good bye you are simplying saying see you later. He is in the presence of our glorious father with no pain or sickness's. Please stay in touch and if you wish to talk I will be here. I am a stage 4 colon cancer survivor and a ambassador for cancer fighters.com .

I am so sorry for your loss and understand the pain you feel.  I also lost my wonderful father in 2008 from primary hepatocellular carcinoma to the liver and still feel saddened and alone.  My husband was recently diagnosed with stave IV esophageal carcinoma with mets to the liver and has been undergoing chemo.  He has good days and some not so good days and I have that "empty and alone feeling".  I am thankful that I have my mother with me and have to beautiful grown children 2-1/2 hours away.  I am lucky to have their support and the love and caring of my wonderful friends, yet I am frightened and trying to make sense of this.  My husband is "only" 68-years old and we have been married 33-years.  I would give anything to have more time with him.  I guess all of us can always use more love & support and I'm just looking for more people in similar situations to respond.  My prayers are with everyone in this world suffering from this pain.  With the hopes of hearing from more people like me, I hope that I too can be a support to somebody else like me.