Lost Husband To Neuro-Endocrine Prostate Cancer

My husband was 48 years old when diagnosed with cancer. He apparently may have had it for 5 to 10 years undiagnoised due to him being a hard working labourer, and many of the aches were put down to work pains. off course when things started to really show themselves he still didn't say anything about it for a few months, I started to notice how uncomfortable he was when sitting down and then he couldn't walk around without holding his ribs, then came trying to lie down he kept moving around then sitting on cushions. He couldn't even have his wallet in his back pocket because of the pressure. Then he finally admitted to me that he couldn't urinate properly only tiny spurts every half an hour or so, over many weeks we were fighting over going to the Drs, but he was to scared to find out what it was, he thought it was diabetes as our daughter and his brother has diabetes. Unfortunately the news was the worse news it could have been. His urologist took three days of testing the biopsy to find
out the type of cancer. Then he said he had a very rare one called, neuro-endocrine, and it was to late for surgery or even getting psa levels as he was so far advanced there was only chemo to try to alleviate, some of his pain of course he only had three cycles of carboplatin and etoposide when the Drs said that it was no use having any more and to try radiation therapy, he had a months worth of treatment.
They gave him at the initial diagnosis around 24 months, and hopfully the treatments will give him longer and better quality of life. Sadly he only lived for 11 months, the cancer metatasised into his spine, ribs, left eye, lungs, left thigh he fought a valiant fight trying to keep up his spirit for our three children youngest only 11 years, he died in March 06.
What I wanted to say is for any symptoms that you may have please!!! get it checked out and to hear that it is nothing serious, because being macho will not make the cancer go away, and we lost the other half of our family.

regards debbie

Debbie, I'm so sorry to read about your husband. You are very courageous to write that message! You are also absolutely right about men taking the time to get screened...before they have symptoms. Your husband, according to "statistics," was too young to get prostate cancer (an old man's disease). Unfortunately, we know that young men DO get prostate cancer and they are finding it in more and more in those men. And, it is usually a more aggressive cancer when found in younger men. I facilitate a Man to Man Prostate Cancer Support Group and have a real problem getting men in their 40s and 50s to the meetings, unless they happen to be diagnosed with the disease. I would like to take your message and incorporate it into an article I will write for our local newspaper (if you don't mind) to let people know that young men can get prostate cancer and it can kill. Many doctors say it is "usually" slow growing and "usually" an old man's disease, so men don't need to get checked until 50 or older. BUT that sacrifaces the young men like your husband...and THAT'S NOT FAIR. Again, Debbie, I extend my sympathy to you and your family and will keep you in my prayers. Bob

Dear Bob H, thank you for replying to my message,I re -read my letter and didn't realise how much anger and hurt came out. Yes you may use my letter. If it helps one person then how wonderful that would be.
My husband John, has a 29 year old son and they haven't really had much of a relationship as he lived with his mum, but they luckily spent some time together when he realised how sick he was. John made his son promise him that he would go to his Dr, and get a base line test result for prostate cancer, as it was stressed to us that it could be hereditary, do you know how much trouble he had getting a Dr to give him the test because they said that he was to young. I printed off copies of hubbys, reports just so they knew what was happening to him, finally one tested him and at least now he has a guide line to go on.
We attended a support group with many varied prostate problems, and I found for me it was a valuable group for information given to you in non medical terminology, but in a way we could follow , also their wives helped me as they were all in their 60's 70's, and they couldn't beleive how sick and young John was. They treated us as one of their own children. They still send me a newsletter with little stories and funny quotes, that helps them get through their days . I haven't the heart to tell them that I find it to hard to open the mail.
Any way I seem to keep rambling on. I think its because I haven't anyone to let off steam to.

best wishes for your Support Group

Debbie

Hi Debbie, I had responded to your response, but I guess it went into cyberspace. Anyway, you have every right to be angry and hurt. I'm glad to see you letting it out. I hope there is a resource in your community that provides help for those who are grieving the loss of a loved one. Hospice fills that need in my community. I am concerned that you have no one to let steam off to. You need that. The American Cancer Society's Relay For Life is being held Aug. 18-19 in my community and my Man to Man group is fielding a team of "Walkers." Last year we had a person on the track for the entire 24 hours and hope to do it again. Another part of the Relay is the lighting of Luminaria in Memory of those who have lost their lives to cancer (and Honor of those who are surviving cancer). I am going to have a Luminaria lit in John's name and will take a picture of it for you. I will have it named "Debbie's husband John" unless you want to give more information (like last name). You can find me by going to www.ustoo.org and clicking on Find a Chapter Near You and then selecting Oregon as the state. I'm sure you can find me by process of elimination since you know my first name and know I that facilitate this group. Whether you want to contact me re this is entirely up to you. I will have a Luminaria for John (that's the least I can do) and will take a picture of it. My wife and I (and our church's congregation) are keeping you and your family in our prayers. Bob