End Of Life

I've never used a message board before. I will be brief. My is 58 years old. After three months in a Mayo trial we have been told the treatment is not working. The Dr. has estimated her time left at 2-4 months. Please, someone tell me what I can expect; what will the final months of her life be like, what might the family do to help her, etc.

Pull no punches - I need to know what to expect. I have gotten pappy answers from the Dr. and Homecare/Hospice folks. PLEASE.

George

We lost our mother to this horrible disease in may this year.. There are a couple of things that we found when caring for her in her house.. Number one is pain control-- make sure she is comfortable at all times.. no pain!!!!There are so many medications for this so be her advocate -Mom never went higher than a 3 on a pain scale of 1-10..
Hospice is a wonderful service and we used them .
My sister and I moved in with Mom and Dad and took care of her for the last 3 weeks , I am a nurse and had the advantage of caring for her without additional help with the hospice team-but i used them to bounce ideas off of and for supplies we needed etc.. If you don't understand something have them explain to you .. You have a right to know about the care given to your loved one..
We were fortunate enough to give mom her last 2 wishes -Die at home and No Pain!!!That is the only way we would have had it..
God Bless

Hi, my mother was diagnosed with stage iv pc in Sept 2005. She lost her fight in January 2006. She was 64. My Dad was and still is devasted. I am one of 5 kids, so we try to keep Dad busy with visits and his grandchildren. Not a day goes by that we don't talk about mom. She had been complaining to her dr for about 5 months before she was diagnosed of nausea and pain in her abdomen...She was on gemzar, it didnt work. She died peacefully at home. My sisters and I took turns caring for her as did my dad. Hospice came in and gave her meds daily. She died one Sunday morning in January. Towards the end, she slept almost 24 hours a day, since ammonia levels were so high. She became very confused towards the end probably from the liver shutting down. The last week she lost alot of weight and was semi-conscious. She was a sallow-yellow color and stopped eating about 3 days before she died. She never once complained. When she was 1st diagnosed we did so much research and made sure she had the best cancer dr. This is an awful disease and I hope and pray that someday if not a cure, a treatment that can prolong life.

Hi, i just read your message you sent to someone and it also answerd some of my questions that had been playing on my mind, my mum sadly died 3 weeks ago today and im totally devestated, but a week before she died she went for a new treatment which meant an overnight stay in hopsital and included having steriods, (gemzar aslo didn't work for her)1 day after coming home she deteriorated quite badly and started to loose control of her bodly funtions, days before she passed away all she did was sleep and was in a semi-concious state and a yellowish colour and stopped eating as you also experienced, i didn't know if this was due to her treatment she had just been given as i called the hospital and they explained it was possible the steriods, but after reading your message i am not so sure and maybe it was because mum was then loosing her battle, we were not sure of the cancer spreading as mum never wanted to know so we were not sure at what stage the cancer was in,and i don't know if by having the treatment made her so bad that brought her death closer to the end had she not had it, she did seem to be in alot of pain the last week which still haunts me, but she did die at home which was her wish, and in my arms as i told her much i loved her, the last weeks have been a complete blur and still can't emagine my life without her, how do you ever get over something like this, i just want to give up and be with her.

Sharon

I pray for you and your family.  End of life is never an easy thing to face.  I use to work at a care facility.  Hospice is a wonderful program.  The best thing you could do is be there.  I lost my father, not to cancer in 2004 and I wish I was there for him.  Due to living out of state.  If all you have to offer is yourself than that would be the best gift.  My mother is still alive living with complications of numerous medical conditions and diabetes.  She lived with us for a couple of months till I became ill.  Now she lives with my sister.  I wish I could be there for her.  If you have a chance, please read my story "Cancer Again! Now What?".  Take Care & God Bless. 

 Aloha, Paulette  

Hi, I've been reading messages here for some time now and this is the first time I've responded.  My mom also just lost her battel to PC on March 9.  She was diagnosed with stage IV and had metastasized to her liver in October 2006.  She also was given Gemzar, which didn't really do anything.  She was feeling ok, but the tumors weren't changing at all on the Gemzar.  So we decided to go to the Cancer Treatment Center of America in Chicago.  They put her on a much more aggressive treatment that worked for some patients there.  It seemed to be making a difference as her blood counts had improved on her 2nd visit.  The treatment was hard on her body though, or maybe the PC had finally taken it's toll.  I knew the statistics when we started this battle but didn't want to face them.  We were so full of hope and I really believed she would beat it.  After we came home from her 2nd treatment in Chicago on Monday she went into the hospital because she was sick and dehydrated Thursday night .  She passed away Friday afternoon.  They said her BP dropped and breathing stopped.  It also could've been a blood clot, she developed those often after the cancer.  It's still really a shock to me, I thought she was doing so well.  I thought she was just having side effects from treatment, would spend a week in the hospital and be back home in time for her next treatment in Chicago.  My mom was 60 years old.  I'm still not sure how to get through without her.  I lost my husband 8 years ago when he was 35 (I was 32) my kids were 3 and 5 and don't really remember, but they are having such a hard time with this loss, they loved her so much!  I pray everyday for anyone going through this, it is not an easy road to travel. 

Hi

i am very sorry to read your story, when i see that you are praying for others through your hard time it brings a tear to my eyes, in return i will pray for you. i will pray for peace for you and your children.

i know the difficulty in loosng a loved one but the 2 people you have lost is some noone should have to face at such a young age.

i am truely sorry.

tanya.