diagnosed 2/1/11 with prostate cancer at the age of 41, highly unusual, aggressive but probably hasn't spread. surgery to remove the prostate 7/5/11. it spread to the bottom side of my bladdar where the cut was made. chemo injection every three months along with 33 radiation treatments finished on 12/23/11. i should be done now. the side effects of everything is too much sometimes. the hot flashes and sever mood swings drive me crazy. i feel like a burden, i don't feel like a man anymore, my sex drive is gone and even if it wasn't i can't do anything about it. my partner is very supportive and understanding but i feel like a burden and it's not fair to him. my friends are supportive but i feel like i can't talk to them becuase they get tired of hearing me. it's like i'm stuck in a world of grey all the time. i've become a very good actor so no one will know the pain i have inside all the time.