How do lifestyle factors and exposure to environmental substances affect our cancer risk?
by Maria3512 on Thu Mar 15, 2012 03:52 AM
On March 11th at 5:30 AM my father died after fighting this horrible disease for 5 years. I feel broken, lost, devastated and alone even though i'm not. I think his death has affected me worse then anyone else. My mom and sister are ok but i just cant come to terms with it. I look for him everywhere i ask his spirit to visit me i go to sleep hoping to dream of him. We were so close and i spent every day with him for the last 3 months, I don't understand how this could have happened to my daddy?
by jgash on Thu Mar 15, 2012 04:16 AM
God blessed the family and you. It was a horrible disease that took away irreplaceable love one. Our prayers are with you.
by eastwest on Thu Mar 15, 2012 02:31 PM
Maria I am so sorry that you lost your father.
No matter what age when we lose a parent it starts to feel as though we are an orphan.
Possibly your mom and sister are still very numb since they seem okay while you are raw. We all experience grief in our own way.
I know when my husband died last year one friend got upset because I was comforting everyone instead of the other way around. It was just that I saw their pain and wanted to take it from them. Mine was buried deep within and came out when i was alone.
We are here for you on this message board when you need support. Irene
by never-too-late on Thu Mar 22, 2012 04:36 AM
Dear Maria; I am so very sorry about the loss of your father. My heart goes out to you....I am going to tell you something and please dont think I am crazy. I just lost my husband to cancer 3 months ago...I too looked for him everywhere and asked him to visit me in my sleep...only it just didnt happen. Then I realized that through Jesus Christ I had to ask him to let my husband come to me so that I might know he is alright. Maria after I prayed to Jesus he did come to me in my dreams...it was real...he held me so tight and told me we would be together again and that he would be with me always in spirit! How do I know it was real? Because he looked the same when he was sick and did not have a new body as he will when Jesus rewards us in heaven.
by eastwest on Thu Mar 22, 2012 12:04 PM
Cindy I had a vision of Phil a couple months after he passed as i was drifting to sleep. he was glowing. He did not speak. But he was healthy and smiling. When I said "I love you" he patted his heart. I immediately "woke" up and told my son. Even though I was crying it was tears of joy. I have smelled his aftershave in the house from time to time and one day when my son was visiting he said OMG mom, I just smelled Dad's aftershave! Then I was heading up to the cemetary one day and I have to pass by a church. On the marque it said "Rejoice in the lord Always, Phil." I know it referred to a book in the bible but it seemed clear it was a message to me. Irene
by mayyu on Thu Mar 22, 2012 01:03 PM
María, sentido pésame. I know what you are going throu. I do not know if you believe in Jesus or not, if you do, pray with faith, in silence. Remember Jesus in his agony and let Him throu the Holly Spirit to confort you and to communicate with your daddy in your heart. It is too soon, you have to let time goes by, meanwhile find Bach Flowers, read about them, and for your emotions a will recomend: Sweet Chestnut. You will see, your father is with you; mine is, and went to heaven 45 years ago. God bless you and all you family. Amen.
by jaycc on Sat Jun 02, 2012 02:44 PM
How are you doing ? I also lost my Mom to cancer after a 7 year battle. Was very frustrated after all that, that the last 4 months were unkind to her, she never seem to get a break.
Additionally I lost my husband 7 months ago. I have a daughter.
The pain is like no other, and there is a journey ahead probably the same in some ways for you and your sister and your mom and probably in some ways different.
Keep talking if you can. Talk to your Dad, talk to others, talk to your Mom.
In one of the books I read another family called it "regular dreams or visits" Like others stories, don't think I'm crazy but I do have visits from my husband, he is calm and looks good. I get wound up, and even awake I can sense him with me. Sometimes I ask him "where have you been" when it gets long between times that I can feel him near. He responds the same everytime I ask him. "Right here"
My daughter wonders sometimes why I don't cry in front of others. That's just not me, makes me feel worse, it is okay to cry, but it is okay not to cry in front of others too.
by eastwest on Mon Jun 04, 2012 11:30 AM
Jaycc It's been almost 14 months since my husband passed. A couple of months afterwards I had a "dream" as i let go and started to fall asleep that he was right in front of me smiling and sooo very healthy, glowing, and walking a dog we'd loved. I woke up instantly crying but knowing he was fine where he is.
A couple months later When i felt the guilt of everything not done that should have been done he sent his aunt to tell me that I'd been a good wife and mom. I felt his presence in the background. Other times I've smelled his after shave in the house. My son has too and it shocked him.
The last time, a couple more months ago, I kept smelling the after shave after I'd gone to bed. It was so strong it was actually giving me a headache. All i wanted to do was go to sleep. As i lay there I heard him say my name.
I have treasured those moments. Since then I haven't smelled the aftershave or dreamed about him. I've wondered if he's left and no longer near me. That maybe he thinks I don't need him around anylonger. But I still talk to him. Irene
by cpcollege05 on Sun Jun 24, 2012 09:51 PM
Im so sorry to hear about you dad. : (
My dad passed about six years ago and i always felt bad that i didnt take it too hard. My brother was lost and still is to this day and mom trys to stay strong for us kids.
I guess its just the way peoples emotions are i miss and love my dad terribly but i dont go and hide like my brother does. I guess you can say im just happy for the times i had with him and will see him again in heaven. As for now hes looking down on me keeping me strong to care for my mom and brother.
Just remember he will always be in your heart and there to talk to when ever needed.
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