Metastatic Bone Cancer

My mother is dying from Bone Mets.  She is on hosparus but not in much pain, however, that is increasing daily.  She has recently stopped eating and drinking as much.  I know these are signs that the end is near, however, she has been secretly telling myself and my sisters that she wants to go to the doctor.  Sometimes she is confused and disoriented but on this subject she seems clear and does not want my dad to know because he has already told her she is too weak to visit the doctor.  She has been bedridden for approx. 9weeks due to a tumor on her brain that has paralyzed her right leg and arm but has recently been having movement in.  This is so up and down we are not sure if she is getting better or dying, the nurse recently told us she couldn't hardly find a pulse in her paralyzed arm nor in her foot and this meant the end was close, however, my sister in law came over later and took her vitals and they were just fine!  What I need to know is if I should take her to the Doctor and honor what she wants(she does not know she is on Hosparus) in which I can transport her via Ambulance service or honor my dad's wishes (her healthcare surrogate) and leave her be and tell her the truth.....please offer some type of advice....I am so torn

Ma'am,

Your mother's husband is in charge.....and I don't believe telling her something, even if it is the truth at this time is acceptable for a smooth transition.  Let her husband talk to her, and if he feels she needs to hear she is on hospice, he will do what is right.  If you call an ambulance, the ambulance driver will ask if she is on hospice, and will refer your mother's situation to hospice, anyways!  Let this passing be a peaceful, supportive path! Read to her, sing a hymn, hold her hand or even sit with her and watch a movie, that she likes.  Try something that can deter her mind, for you know the prognosis already!