by mrsgreen2008 on Fri Apr 20, 2012 08:04 PM
my husband is due to start radio/chemo on monday for tonsil cancer, the hospital have prepared us and told us what to expect but i cant help but be really nervous and scared for him, we have been together 10 years and married for 2 he is 41 and im 29
I have never seen him ill and i dont know how im gonna cope as he is the one that takes care of us, i will do it i havnt got a problem doing it just so SCARED!!!
by Julesalso on Sat Apr 21, 2012 10:55 AM
It is natural and normal to feel scared, we all feel or felt that way. Somehow we all seem to dig deep and do cope, despite thoughts that we may not be able to do it. Just remember as a caregiver to take time for you. :)
Good luck to you both.
by JohnnyO on Sat Apr 21, 2012 03:20 PM
Hey Mrs Green, chill.
I'm 50, my wife's 45, married 15 years; we have young kids. I started rad/chemo treatment on March 28th and have completed two of three chemos and 17 rounds of radiation and am doing fine so far.
We were nervous at the start, as well, and we're still nervous because I'm only halfway through the treatment and everyone tells us it's going to get really, really bad. But, we're taking it one day at a time, and though we've had our challenges - mainly nausea from the chemo and fatigue from the radiation - we're hanging in there maintaining a normal life, including the kids.
You will find that the doctors' primary issue once you start is to make sure that your husband has an arsenal of meds, as needed, to treat whatever side effects the treatment brings. One med in our arsenal is Xanax to offset the anxiety; my wife uses it more than I do, I just use it to sleep, a very tiny dose. You might want to ask about that; at low dose there is no side effects, and it does help take the nervous edge off.
My story appears here under "I think I'm dying," and there is lots of great advice from the people here that you and your husband will find helpful, if you have the time and patience to go through the 175+ messages!
Tell you husband to buck up; he just needs to push through this and get it done!
by Helpforhiswife on Sat Apr 21, 2012 04:40 PM
by Roselvr on Sat Apr 21, 2012 04:53 PM
Hi Ladies; my hub's been through it back in 2009. Diagnosed stage 4 HPV+ right tonsil; neck mass the size of a golf ball & lymph nodes (all right side)- radical neck dissection with feeding tube Sept 2009; chemo (3) & rads (33) from November to 12/24/09. My hub has an autoimmune so things hit hard pretty quickly.
I was a caregiver for my dad with terminal leukemia in 2005 & what my hub went through was no where near as bad as that- thank God because my hub was not going to get treated if it was. Don't get me wrong; this cancer is a roller coaster too- but there is a light because it's treatable; you know things are going to be bad for a good year total; with the worst being treatment; then a few months while they cook & their body builds back up. He was back at work by April; out a total of 7 months because of the type of job he has.
The hardest part can be if they do not take being a patient well. They have to realize they will not be able to drive & most days will be spent sleeping; for us it was from Nov to late January. He napped every day until September & when the one year mark came for treatment end; it seemed like his body was finally back- no more thrush. He's also doing well with his Lupus as long as he doesn't over do things.
by Helpforhiswife on Sun Apr 22, 2012 05:23 AM
by Chrismd on Mon Apr 23, 2012 12:48 AM
It's been over 5 years that I was treated for tonsil cancer - it doesn't seem like that long, but there it is.
Some of my experiences (my wife was my caregiver).
1. Eating became almost impossible - food was repulsive to me. I settled 3 meals a day consisting of and egg-beater and cheese omelet, 2 Boost Plus and tea with honey. I didn't lose much weight and ididn't need a PEG.
2. I drank a lot of water.
3. I used magic mouthwash before eating, which helped when throat pain became an issue.
4. I took a codiene tylenol mixture to help with throat pain.
5. I had Erbitux treatment weekly (along with Cisplatin), and got horrific pimples. I took antibiotices and steriods, which were very effective.
6. I got thrush a couple of times - easily treated with antibiotics. I also had canker sores, which were treated with an over-the-counter topical treatment.
7. I had constipation, and tried a lot of things, finally settling on daily enemas - nothing was hugely effective.
8. I got used to the routine of treatment fairly quickly - what with seeing the same staff every day, and seeing many of the same people every day.
9. My wife was a great advocate, and I never let a problem linger - if a medication wasn't working, my wife worked with the doctors to get a different medication.
10. I had Ethyol daily, for saliva gland protection. I have very good saliva today.
11. I kept up an exercise routine during treatment - light weights and very light aerobics, as well as daily walks with my wife. These were very helpful, if only psycologically.
12. I used a vaporizer at night, and slept in a different room from my wife during treatment, since I was fairly restless.
13. It was all very, very scary at first, but taking it a day at a time, and responding to problems as they arose helped get me through.
by eternalife on Mon Apr 23, 2012 01:04 AM
I am sorry you have to face EC , I am the wife of an EC patient, stage iv, we were not offered surgery. My husband is only 55 and we have been married 32 years. so I know what you mean , do not worry right now.. you do not have all the answers quite yet.. this is a good site, there are a lot of EC patients who have had surgery and doing ok... check out the EC discussion board. I will keep you in my prays... we as caregivers have to walk a tough road, but there is hope and a lot of support here. You have the right to feel the way you do... it is still fresh for me... ask lots of questions of the docs and do not give up....
Peace and Love
by Helpforhiswife on Mon Apr 23, 2012 03:22 AM
by mrsgreen2008 on Mon Apr 23, 2012 06:58 AM
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