My husbands esopagectomy surgery is 18 days away :/

my husband had his surgery 6 years ago . and is doing fine they told him he would only be able to eat maybe 10 very small meals a day. but that never happened, he was on feeding tube at home for about a month an a half, home health showed me how to clean it. Then when his feeding tube came out his 1st meal wa s potatoe soup, we dont eat much potatoe soup now.  He went back to work after 5 months. Over the year or so after his surgery he had his throat strecthed 17 times but now it is fine . hasnt had that done in yrs. he weighed about 235lb before surgery and got down to 160lbs, but now he is back to 230 something he wont tell me because he knows I will get on to him and he eats anything he wants 3 meals a day and snacks!! He still has acid reflux real bad but if he would watch his diet i think he would be fine he is on 3 stomach meds.but it is almost like he never had surgery. hope everything is going ok

 Sorry, helpforhiswife, that you couldn't get my private reply. I guess it is in cyberspace somewhere. It was just a note of encouragement and a reminder to make sure hubby doesn't lay down flat when he gets home.  I reported having trouble with profile page so I hope they can fix it.  Anyhow, please keep us posted when he comes home.  You will do just fine.  Stay connected with his surgeon and nurses.  My hubby called them regularly for advice.  He called so much they named him "Mother Hen".  But you know what,  the doctor said he played a huge part in pulling me through.  You might want to make a list of meds and hours to be taken and check them off when you give them.  That helped us so much.  I was just too "dopey" to know and hubby was pretty nervous that he would kill me with an overdose of something, so we devised a paper to keep on the fridge so he could check off what he gave me and when he gave it.    Enough for now.  Take care of yourself too.  Best wishes and prayers.

On May 30, 2012 10:35 PM doingfine wrote:

 Sorry, helpforhiswife, that you couldn't get my private reply. I guess it is in cyberspace somewhere. It was just a note of encouragement and a reminder to make sure hubby doesn't lay down flat when he gets home.  I reported having trouble with profile page so I hope they can fix it.  Anyhow, please keep us posted when he comes home.  You will do just fine.  Stay connected with his surgeon and nurses.  My hubby called them regularly for advice.  He called so much they named him "Mother Hen".  But you know what,  the doctor said he played a huge part in pulling me through.  You might want to make a list of meds and hours to be taken and check them off when you give them.  That helped us so much.  I was just too "dopey" to know and hubby was pretty nervous that he would kill me with an overdose of something, so we devised a paper to keep on the fridge so he could check off what he gave me and when he gave it.    Enough for now.  Take care of yourself too.  Best wishes and prayers.

Hi doing fine.... I sent you a message yesterday, and I lost it... Cyberspace, as well... Thank your for all of your words,,, my husband has a recliner on the couch, it goes a tad further down then I would like,,,I make sure he does not go back for 30 or 45 min, after evey drink, or meal... I have him eating softer foods today, he still gets wheezy after,,,but that goes away within a hour... Then he is fine..l he is still discouraged, about not eating like he use too,,I think it's all par for the course,,,I got him up to a 1000 calories, I know he will be fine, it takes time... I see the whole picture, and he cant yet see it... Plus well advise reading all of these post, prior... Medications, oh that was my first scare... I came home and made my schedule, I was having a panic attack thinking I forgot something, or giving too much... Dy one I made my list,,, I got to go out today and work on may garden,,, 4 weeks neglected,,it was therapeutic in an odd way..,playing in the dirt.., I had a lot of energy to burn...and emotions... God bess.. How are you doing???

I am doing well. Life is good. I am glad you made your med schedule and also very happy you are doing your gardening.  My sister came in every Tuesday and Friday for the whole 8 months of my "worst" to give my husband respite.  Those were his hours to get groceries, have a cup of coffee with his men friends, and have an opportunity to breathe.  I pray some folks from your church will sit with your hubby for a few hours a week so you can relax a bit.  My doctor put me on an anti-depressant after my surgery.  My best lady friend kept telling me, "It's too soon...It's too soon." She was right.  I wanted to feel good too soon, but her reminders got me through to the time I did feel good.  As far as eating, he will pick up with that also.  I went from 120 lbs after surg. to 168 within 4 years.  My normal weight was always 135.   Now I try to keep it down.  He will get there in time.  Best wishes and prayers.....

Hi there, Thank you for your ideas, and just the encouragement, and experience... I have been leaving in alone for a hour every couple of days.., while I shop, he has the phone, I had our daughter here at first, but it bothered him to have a babysitter??? Then I thought my grandson, who is 13, but he did not like that, I think he is embarrassed with the tube, and for some reason he fees, as he has to entertain, and we all know he does not... My grandson was a big help with pulling weeds,,I have not had a girl time yet, or church,, maybe next week he will be stronger,,,I'm trying to The yard in order planting so we can sit out there... We had to get rid of our puppy, and I think that may be some of his sadness..??? I'll try and get one of his buddies here from church soon, eveyone is wonderful and giving us our space, but he may injoy hanging out with them, while I go in the room and watch a chick flick..a good tear junker love story,.,I have a lot of pent up emotions...he is still frustrated with eating, it takes time... I got his calories up to 2000 with feeding tube, a lot of grape juice, so many calories in juice,,,I know how we thought for years have been changed and now we are adding calories,,, rather then eat this and not that, we are eating the that,, I bought that thick it stuff, will try and make some shuffles, or quiches.. In have not lost weight, but ate the wowing things, I feel bad for eating in front of him... So grabbing junk.. I found my self driving through. Fast food place just to get carbs,,, as I have not had any in five weeks...lost of love and prayers your way, blessed for you knowledge and insight xoxo

It is hard to describe how upsetting the initial lack of being able to eat much is and it is easy to get into a pattern of thinking that it will always be this way - it will not.  He is still alive and he si starting on the road to recovery.  I avoided milk for the first 6 months as it made me feel very ill but I was gradually able to reintroduce it.  Whe eating out I ate starters and made sure that the staff knew that I could not eat much at first and would not try to get me to order more - it does not sound like much but it really upset me when I wanted to be able to eat food but was constantly reminded that I could not eat as much as I want.

The important thing to remember is that it does get easier over time.  I can have 3 courses at this stage.

Now back to my 1 and 2 year old - my daughter was 1 on Friday but had chicken pox - life is full.

I still do not go out for late evening meals but life is full.

I'm sorry you are dealing with your babies having chicken pox. That's tuff I remember my daughters getting it, then I got it as an adult... I have to know, it must be hard around the holidays...I want to make it different this year, no sociallizing like we did,.,I'm sure it's hard to go to gatherings the first year??? That's fine with me, I'll be creative, so many things are gatherated around food... My husband ate a watermelon today, and spit it out so he could eat it fast as he use too, and not have the eating side effects..that's ok, at least he got the craving satisfied.

I no i did not eat for about a month , well i ate but did not have meals because I was afraid eat would get hungry smelling the food and I was starting to just imagin what a big tbone would taste like and i sure had one when he was able to start eating.he done real good when he was aloud to eat regular food but we started out real small like potatoe soup and things like that he doesnt like steak any ways. he had his throat stretched a lot in the beging and he had 18 all togeather in the 1st yr. but it has been 6 yrs now and he eats what ever he wants except milk and he loves milk but it still will upset his stomach. now the dr is on to him about losing weight he is back up to what he wght was before his surgery. He still really needs to watch certain foods he eats because he does still get acid reflux the surgery was just to keep him from getting cancer he had a 25% chance of not getting cancer. my husband was afraid to stay by himself the 1st 2 months I stayed 10 days night and day with him in the hospital and stayed home with him every day which was hard after awhile if someone came over to visit I would ask if they could just stay with him for  15mins. while i would run to the store

 

That's where I'm at, Not leaving... I have left her and there, I leave him the phone..and it's been ok...I hate o ask people, to do everything for me... He is eating soft food, yah... I gave him a tv dinner, I know not much on nutrician, but it was soft and tasty,,, he tolerated it well..tomorrow I'll try poached eggs,,, he is doing better, with food, we have been taking it slow... He hates the sound of the blender.... He had a watermelon, he use to eat a whole one, and spit it out with every bite just to endulge,,, maybe he should try a steak that way,,, too dangerous, what if he swallowed. It??? . It's a process.. I got him lactose free milk, there are some good ones out there, almond milk and such,,,it's a process... Tomorrow his buddy will visit, maybe that will be helpful, nobody seen him other then me,,, And I can leave and do errands...:). My husband does wants to leave if I'm in the house, , oh how I would love to watch tv, on my own,. If he is asleep, and I change it he wakes up...and he is picky watching tv, everything now bothers him, so we have been on a marathon of strange shows.. Survivor man.. That's a good one, that poor guy is always starving,,,so he cn relate, im sure,,,this certently is a journey........???

does he not have a feeding tube in? my husband only ate potatoe soup for maybe the 1st 3 days after his feeding tube was removed then we did scrambled  eggs and when his throat would start closing he would drink the carnation instant breakfast . till he got his appointment for throat strecthing he knew when he needed it and would call the dr. in the begining it was often but it has been years. the 1st year he had 17 in the 1st year