I had a partial neck dissection shortly after my cancer was diagnosed. No tonsils to remove (and no primary every found), but my ENT took all the lymph nodes on the left side. One was cancerous, but it had clean margins, meaning that the cancer was encapsulated in that one node.
The surgery was very minor for me. I took one pain pill, in the hospital, because the nurse was so insistent. I was teaching in less than a week, and no one even noticed the scar.
The treatment after was what taxed me. Compared to the radiation and its effects, surgery was not much at all. My son and his friend took out my stitches on Thanksgiving as entertainment between turkey and pie!
Best of luck to your husband and to you. He will need you as the head of his support team, and you can do it!
Susan