I want to help,but don't know how

Someone very close to me is dying..was told at the start of the year she has 5-10 years..then 2years then a month later 1year and now only has only a couple of months...her baby was just born when she found out..she has been so strong and fighting so hard...I want to ask her..if she needs help to write letters or a video to her kids...her baby will not know her mummy..so is a bad thing to ask..is it any of my busniess to ask..is it my place..how do I say it without hurting her..I feel so gulity that I spend a lot of time with her kids

My Dad died last year.  Before he passed I went to a Hallmark store and found a book for recording memories.  Each page gave us topics to discuss and write his memories.  We also went through old pictures and he told us many memories that were sparked by the photos.  Doing this gave him a chance to relive some happy times and we recorded some great family history. 

Or you could just buy a tape recorder or a diary for her and leave it by her chair or bed.

Best wishes to you and God Bless

Sorry about ur dad...she has gotten worse..and now it's in her brain..I left it to late

Maybe you can do it. Write down all you can remember about your friend and even your grieving. It will mean a lot to the baby someday.

On Apr 26, 2012 9:47 AMNeed2helpwrote:

Someone very close to me is dying..was told at the start of the year she has 5-10 years..then 2years then a month later 1year and now only has only a couple of months...her baby was just born when she found out..she has been so strong and fighting so hard...I want to ask her..if she needs help to write letters or a video to her kids...her baby will not know her mummy..so is a bad thing to ask..is it any of my busniess to ask..is it my place..how do I say it without hurting her..I feel so gulity that I spend a lot of time with her kids

my hubby. had chemo. is weak an liver hurts. i am so sad. please emailme

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Your thought of making a video is very nice. Incredibly, we never thought of this and nobody suggested it. We had never had or used a video camera and that just wasn't part of our life, but now of course I wish we had done that.  Otherwise, a way you can help when things get toward the end and the patient can't be left alone is to offer to stay with him or her so the caregiver can get out to do necessary errands. That is something I badly needed. As the situation deteriorated I would call Hospice with some problem and they would say "Give him Robitussin for the cough" or "put him in Depends for the incontinence" but I couldn't leave him alone if I went to the drug store for supplies and we had no family within 700 miles. A "babysit" offer would have been so welcome.

I wish that when my husband was facing death someone had offered to make a videotape of him.  Why not just say, in a kind and direct way, what is in your heart, that you want to offer to do this if she wants it?   My guess is that she is feeling frantic about wanting to leave something for her children to know her by and will appreciate your offer. And think what a treasure that video will be for the children, over the years.

 In my family it is the gift of Gab my Dad is gone over 24 years and I hear my kids talk about him as if they knew him.  Remember to talk about him or Her always that my friend is called the circle of Life.

God bless Cathy