But whether that's good or bad isn't yet clear
by jenben59 on Sun Apr 29, 2012 03:39 AM
Dx'd in December 2008, stage 3C...surgery, 6 mos. chemo, completed July 2009. NED ever since, until my last check up in February. CT scan and spot(s) on the liver. I am assuming the cancer has metastized...more test coming. I know this is going to sound negative, but got through the brain tumor in 2005, 3 years later advanced colon cancer...it's been a battle for 8 years...I do not know if I can do this any more. Quality of life is not great, staying alive cleans out the bank account, even with insurance, and more surgeries and chemo...well, I am sure everyone knows that is not enjoyable...and not knowing if putting this effort into it is going to give me a cancer free outcome. I am seriously considering no more treatment for anything and when it gets to where I can not function, hospice. Which leads me to my question...has anyone dealt with hospice? What is involved? Who do I contact? If they tell me 6 months...I am going to enjoy my life and go see people I have not seen in a long time and take the big road trip with my 2 adult kids before I go...to me, a few good months is better than dragging this out and keeping me alive, for hopefully a couple of years with surgery, chemo and misery. I hope this has not offended anyone. If you are young and have children, I say...keep fighting the fight.
by Shitulpatel on Sun Apr 29, 2012 04:53 AM
by mery14xmas on Sun Apr 29, 2012 05:04 AM
I can definitely identify with what you are saying and feeling. The struggle to survive cancer is tremendous. I feel like you do many times. In fact, i stopped treatment last year because I got so sick. Then it came back again.
Right now, I just had my 2nd colon resection in Dec./2011. Currently, I'm undergoing chemo again. I'm not happy about it. I'm trying to live however, as we all know there are no guarantees.
Sometimes, I think all of this stuff=surgery, chemo, etc. makes things worst but we try it cause we want to live.
I believe there comes a point in a person's life when you just want to do what you want to do. There is nothing wrong with that. I plan to do the same. If I find that I can't take being so weak and sick anymore I want to do things on my bucket list. In fact, I'm going to start now before my time runs out. Do what you want and have the best quality of life that you can while you can. You owe nothing to anyone but yourself and your children and family. I understand you.
All I know is that hospice helps with the pain till the end and tries to make the best of it for you and yours. Ask your higher power for help and make peace with yourself and others.
by busiwork on Sun Apr 29, 2012 10:08 AM
My heart goes out to you.
Its not for any of us to advise you on this terrible situation you have been put in again.
You have beaten this before and you have survived 8 years since you first heard that awful word cancer.
All I would say as a fellow human being is: life in whatever form is precious.Wait to hear the full diagnosis before you make any decisions - maybe the treatment wont be as bad as before?
I wish you luck - take care x
by lucky24 on Wed May 09, 2012 12:09 PM
please dont give up, many of us have been in that dark place you are in now, the thoughts of been sick and knowing the battle that faces you is sometimes worse than it actually is.. you have a family that love and care for you, you owe it to yourself and then to keep going.
I too was Dx 3 years ago at the same stage and im now on my 3rd set of chemo after 3 recurrences in that time, it is so tough and i have my dark days too but i have a younge daughter and im not planning on going anywere , im going to get some quality of life out of all the crap and im here for as long as the good lord decides. My onclogist had told me we are trying to control it now, not cure it.. so, i dont believe him,im not concentrating on it, im going to live...
I can relate to everyting you say, finacially, physically and emotionally it is draining, but you are here, you are breathing you can listen to people and talk to people, you can laugh and you can cry , you are alive. Embrace it for what it is and keep going, God bless you , you are in my thoughts and prayers...
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