New Here! Need tips, my mom is in last stages of colon cancer

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New Here! Need tips, my mom is in last stages of colon cancer

by anysuggestions on Mon May 14, 2012 02:43 AM

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Hello everyone! I'm new to cancer compass and I have a few concerns about my mother. She was diagnosed with colon cancer about two years ago. She was told that it was in remission a couple of months later and now its back and the doctors told us there wasn't anything else that they could do. She has a nagging cough and swelling in the feet and seems as if her stomach is swollen as well. She believes in God and she is at peace with her current situation, but as her caregiver, I'm concerned and I don't know what else to do. Has anyone been in this situation and if so, please tell me what my family and I need to prepare for. Thanks.

RE: New Here! Need tips, my mom is in last stages of colon cancer

by pineconepeg on Sat Jun 23, 2012 08:31 AM

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My Dad died of colon cancer last August.  My sister and I took care of him at home at the end.  Hospice was a great help.  They got medical equipment such as a hospital bed, and the nurse was a great source of info. They also helped with the pain meds.

My Dad became uncomfortable sitting after a while and a foam donut was a life saver.  His feet swelled and he could no longer get his shoes on, so we bought slippers that looked a little like loafers but were big and comfy.  He lost his appetite and so we tried to tempt him with his favorite foods and things he considered a treat.  He became increasingly tired, but we encouraged him to get up at least for a while every day for as long as he could.  He became confused at the end, but we just went along with what ever he was saying. We didn't want to distress him.  At the very end he just went to sleep and 2 days later he passed away very peacefully.  My Dad was a devout Catholic and got comfort from us saying the rosary with him.

  We made a list of all of the people we would need to call when Dad passed and then divided the list between us so 1 person didn't have to do it all.  We made the funeral arrangements ahead, pre ordered flowers, made a collage of pictures of Dad for the funeral home, and so on.  Making the arrangements helped us stay busy when there was nothing else we could do.

May God bless you and your family during this difficult time.

 

 

RE: New Here! Need tips, my mom is in last stages of colon cancer

by anysuggestions on Sat Jun 23, 2012 03:53 PM

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Thank you so much for your response and sorry to hear about your dad.  We just buried my mom about a week and a half ago. Her kidneys started to fail about a week before her death and we had to increase her meds because she was in pain towards the end. It was very difficult as we watched her take her last breath. My mom was a fighter and I believe she knew the end was near. She made her own funeral arrangements and she even picked out the dress she wanted to be buried in. She asked me two months before her death to write her obituary, which was very hard. God gave her strength as she approached death and she even told us that she was content whether she lived or died. She knew where she was going. She loved everybody and didn't complain at all. She will be missed! :)

RE: New Here! Need tips, my mom is in last stages of colon cancer

by Dlynn1210 on Sat Jun 23, 2012 04:14 PM

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On Jun 23, 2012 3:53 PM anysuggestions wrote:

Thank you so much for your response and sorry to hear about your dad.  We just buried my mom about a week and a half ago. Her kidneys started to fail about a week before her death and we had to increase her meds because she was in pain towards the end. It was very difficult as we watched her take her last breath. My mom was a fighter and I believe she knew the end was near. She made her own funeral arrangements and she even picked out the dress she wanted to be buried in. She asked me two months before her death to write her obituary, which was very hard. God gave her strength as she approached death and she even told us that she was content whether she lived or died. She knew where she was going. She loved everybody and didn't complain at all. She will be missed! :)

I just replied to someone earlier today that our children learn how to walk by watching us and learn how to talk by listening to us - AND they learn how to handle diversities and bad times that they all will face one day by watching how we handle them today.  Your mother has left you with the greatest gift possible - how to handle the "final stage of life" as my grandmother called it - and she did so with such dignity and grace.  Her faith and demeanor in her final days will be with you forever.  She sounds like a truly wonderful woman and the legacy she left behind is her tremendous family. 

Diana 

RE: New Here! Need tips, my mom is in last stages of colon cancer

by anysuggestions on Sat Jun 23, 2012 11:01 PM

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Thank you Diana for your kind words. My mother had very strong faith and yes she was "truly a wonderful woman!"  :)

RE: New Here! Need tips, my mom is in last stages of colon cancer

by pineconepeg on Sun Jun 24, 2012 01:12 AM

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I am  sorry I didn't see your post and reply sooner.  I'm so sorry for your loss.  I forget who said "Christians die well, they have no fear."

I think the reward for caregivers is not regretting what we didn't do because we did all we could.

God bless you.

RE: New Here! Need tips, my mom is in last stages of colon cancer

by Dlynn1210 on Sun Jun 24, 2012 01:47 AM

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Peg - 

You offered some excellent excellent advice that I am sure would make it easier on many when facing the end of a loved one's life.   

Diana

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