Women who don't have BRCA mutations could have other high-risk genes that affect treatment choices
by ribble on Thu May 17, 2012 01:18 AM
Hello, I don't know where to begin. I am a 50 year old female who is the only caregiver for her 48 year old brother who has cancer. My brother has anal cancer and emphysema (just diagnosed). He moved in with me 3 years ago and ever since then I feel as though I am watching him die. The cancer has come back after less than 2 years. He has now done chemo/radiation 2 times and doctors have told him that they can do no more. He is in tremendous pain. Can you imagine? He can't even do simple things like sit normally or rest on his back. He is so thin now that he has to have extra padding on his hips as his bones protrude. We need to have a petscan done but he is in hospital for second time in two months with a collapsed right lung. It is agonizing watching him go through all this. He is my only family.. I know others have been thru the same so thought I'd just tell my story..
by pineconepeg on Thu May 17, 2012 01:41 AM
Last year my Dad died of rectal cancer. Now my husband has head and neck cancer. It is horrible to watch someone you love deteriorate the way they do with cancer. I feel so helpless. Just when you think you have a handle on what's going on something else comes up. The responsibilites are tremendous and the chores just never get done's, there are always more. I get the best encouragement from web sites like this and from my belief that God will see us through. May God bless and keep you.
by ribble on Thu May 17, 2012 02:11 AM
Oh I am sorry to hear the news of your dad and now your husband. My heart goes out to you.. Yes it's a damned awful disease.. The emphysema diagnosis shocked us as he had collasped lung just 2 months ago and no mention made of it. Yes you are right the hardest part is watching someone go thru cancer and you can't do a thing about the pain. I sincerely wish you all the best...
by Debbie42 on Wed May 23, 2012 10:40 PM
Ahhh venting...How about I hate....I mean hate, having to discuss my mothers cancer over and over and over again, just so everyone else can feel better! Today was a never ending shite storm of it. Then to make matters worse I am my mothers "anger management", which is off and on and completely understandable, however it is like having the air being let out of your balloon with no back up fire to fill it again.
I am left with a very supportive family (hubands and adult kids) who love me, but have no true idea of what this is like and really do not know what to say. i see their uncomfortableness (if that is a word) and I decide to hold it all back.! Vent wheww needed that
by CarryingOn on Thu May 24, 2012 09:54 PM
Maybe you could come up with a variation on what I had to tell my mother who lives in another state and would sob on the phone about how she hated that she couldn't help me deal with my husband's cancer. I said: I don't have the time or energy to make up a way for you to help me, just so YOU will feel better.
It made the point.
by Helpforhiswife on Tue Jun 19, 2012 03:38 AM
by ribble on Tue Jun 19, 2012 04:39 AM
On Jun 19, 2012 3:38 AM Helpforhiswife wrote: Ok, I'm with you, I hate, having to explain my husband cancer treatment, diagnoses, to family, and then have a bunch of lame, old wise tale things we need to do...or what we need to read, watch, eat.... Especially his family, that only talks about skittles and rainbows, and they hate that their son has cancer, nobody hates cancer more then I, his wife of 33 years, but if he has hard days, and he does, and I'm not talking the skittle and rainbow, stuff, they make me absolutely nuts,.. I'm venting and I'm so happy I can say what I rally feel and vent... His family make me nuts,,,not to mention they took his name off the house, when he was on life support... He lived.. And will be fine, now this poor man does not even know how meanspirited, money hungry , people they are, who cares about the dam house, my dog groomer cried more then his mom...I'm a cristian, and so happy that god sees their heart...or else I would lose it on this crazy lady...I'm about Ready to start smoking again, being around this crazy lady... Help!!
On Jun 19, 2012 3:38 AM Helpforhiswife wrote:
I have had people tell me of new treatments, pills and diets my brother should take to help with his cancer. Bloody hell. It's too late. I want to tell everyone shut the f..k up! I'm the one who is here day in day out, minute by minute - do you think you know more than I do! Helpforhiswife. You have every write to vent. I'm sorry but can't believe his FAMILY took his name off the house.. Amazing.. You are one who is there for your husband day in and day out. Life for you is not all skittles and rainbows neither is it for your husband. You have every right to be mad, vent and I'm sorry but i don't think too much of his family if you can call them that. I don't know what stage your husband's cancer is in. I just wish you both well.
by ribble on Tue Jun 19, 2012 04:42 AM
Forgive my use of strong language..
by Helpforhiswife on Thu Jun 21, 2012 03:16 AM
by Helpforhiswife on Thu Jun 21, 2012 03:17 AM
When you track a discussion, you will get notified by e-mail if anyone else posts a new message on this discussion. Are you sure you want to track this discussion?
If you stop tracking this discussion, you will no longer get notified by e-mail if anyone else posts a new message on this discussion. Are you sure you want to stop tracking this discussion?
We care about your feedback. Let us know how we can improve your CancerCompass experience.