My dad is dying and i feel helpless! !!

M

My mother is also dying from PC.  It is one of the hardest things that I have ever had to go through.  The only thing that you can do is be there for them and try to make the end as comfortable as possible.  It is important that you take care of yourself so that you can take care of them.

My dad is too. Its so hard to understand. Sending you many hugs and prayers.

I am so sorry.  You and all other affected by this disease have my constant prayers.  I lost my mother three weeks ago. Things will never be the same.  Helpless is something I felt on a daily basis.  What helped me and I believe helped my mom was the talks we had.  We just talked.  Sometimes about every day things (it made her feel normal).  Mostly we talked about Heaven.  I read books about Heaven and I told her about them.  It is hard watching someone you love go through this.  I don't know the answers because I still just can't believe it all happened.  In the end, I know I said all I needed to say, asked everything I needed to and loved her as much as humanly possible.  I am so, so sorry.  I know how you feel. Just remember to breath in an out and know that your dad will be a peace.

No matter what, keep in mind that many are thinking of you and sympathize to the fullest (and that goes for others on the forum and their friends and family in the midst of their challenges) as well as offering prayers for you and yours.  I've had those helpless feelings too in the last little while; Dad passed two weeks ago.  For my part, I can only point to in the direction that helped me -- to "the God of all comfort; Who comforts us in all our tribulation..." (from part of 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4).  Turning to God and not away from God when at the worst of pain, despair, and helplessness was and is the key, I firmly believe. 

There were so many challenges and "new normals" that came up as the end neared that my head was spinning and my heart was broken (which comes with the territory regardless), but I needed help and strength, and I asked God for help, strength and guidance.  I can't tell you how many times I felt I was facing a wall but found a way to proceed that helped me cope with what was being presented, if it meant being strong for another family member or for helping deal with logistical challenges and finding ways to make sure his caregivers were getting Dad whatever was needed at a particular time. 

Draw close to those who are care and are willing to offer you support in this time.  That includes so many on this board who have been so generous with their kind words of encouragement, guidance, and consolation.  All the best.

On Jun 03, 2012 4:48 AM unite wrote:

No matter what, keep in mind that many are thinking of you and sympathize to the fullest (and that goes for others on the forum and their friends and family in the midst of their challenges) as well as offering prayers for you and yours.  I've had those helpless feelings too in the last little while; Dad passed two weeks ago.  For my part, I can only point to in the direction that helped me -- to "the God of all comfort; Who comforts us in all our tribulation..." (from part of 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4).  Turning to God and not away from God when at the worst of pain, despair, and helplessness was and is the key, I firmly believe. 

There were so many challenges and "new normals" that came up as the end neared that my head was spinning and my heart was broken (which comes with the territory regardless), but I needed help and strength, and I asked God for help, strength and guidance.  I can't tell you how many times I felt I was facing a wall but found a way to proceed that helped me cope with what was being presented, if it meant being strong for another family member or for helping deal with logistical challenges and finding ways to make sure his caregivers were getting Dad whatever was needed at a particular time. 

Draw close to those who are care and are willing to offer you support in this time.  That includes so many on this board who have been so generous with their kind words of encouragement, guidance, and consolation.  All the best.

My fiance was just diagnosed with stage 4 pancreatic cancer that is also in the liver and shows some lymoh node activity. We just got this news the end of April. He is only 45 and otherwise in fairly good health. Needless to say, we were shocked and felt helpless as well. We were blessed to find a good oncologist and cancer team and try to remain hopeful. Surgery or radiation are not options for him so we started chemotherapy. He has had 2 treatments so far. His CA-19 remains very high. It started at 48,000 and went up to 124,000 after one chemo treatment. We are scared but the doctor told us not to worry about the numbers yet and to give the chemo time to work. Both his red count and white count are good and the doctor is happy about that. HE seems to think he can get the cancer into remission. I wish there were more stories with positive outcomes for stage 4 pancreatic cancer treated with chemo alone, I haven't seen very many :-(  I will continue to pray for you and your family and hope that one day we will bith be sharing our success stories...

                            Elizabeth